Two days of school left. Oh gosh.

That's right. Summah time is just around that corner. Although you might not have been able to tell by the MASS RAIN we got after school. I walked home with Josh, Kara, and Bryan and when we got to my house they all got into my clothes and we shoved theirs into the dryer. Which prevail! Empting the dryan won me four bucks and two notes from Ariel, all from Bryan's pockets. The most likely more interesting of the two notes was mutalated to HELL. And therefore unreadable. Except for "I don't know what to say... Hmm.." Thank you irony. The other note looks entirely fine. Wtf dryer. I was trying to snoop. We all fell asleep on my bed a couple times. And Kara and Bryan think Josh has a crush on me. None too good seeing as I don't like him as such. GOD WHY DOES IT FEEL SO EARLY. I want chocolate. Fuck the what? No. Kay baiii.

Why do you build me up Buttercup, Baby? Just to let me down.

So it's been going around my friends. Making a list of ten things you wouldn't tell people you know to their face or something. Mine? Not really incriminating. But Kelsey got it and showed it around I guess and everyone thought one of them was about Bryan when I didn't even put one for him on there. I started one for him but then stopped and decided to just put whatever I was going to write there in his yearbook. Nothing too bad you know? Well, Bryan made one, I figured out which number I was and it said, "where do I start on this one your one of the two people that I actually trust you've always been there for me I hurt you I dunno if you still have feelings for me but I think I have some for you but I know im just gonna end up hurting you again I know it you're a true friend and I appreciate your love and loyalty I thank you" I finally start convincing him I'm good with friends and he goes and thinks he has feelings for me. So I start talking to him about it, but he had to get offline before much talking happened. Mostly I just pointed out how much his feelings towards me change. Later. Text.
Him: Sorry our online convo got cut short
Me: Dont be sorry
Him: I am and im sorry that my feelings keep changing
Me: Dont be.
Him: Too late
Me: Its nothing to fret over and certainly nothing to be sorry for
Him: Still...
Me: Still what?
Him: I wish i knew how u felt hell i wish i knew how i felt
Me: Why?
Him: Cuz
Me: Because why?
Him: Um i curious
Me: Theres more to that- i can tell
Him: Cuz mabey depending on ur answers......
Me: Depending on my answers what? Youll consiter going out with me until something better comes along? (...Yes. I'm a bit bitter about it happening twice.)
Him: Im not gonna do that to u again
Me: How can i be sure of that?
Him: U cant be sure but i give u my word
Me: Are you really sure you want to try this again?
Him: No im not sure yet and i dont even know if u have feelings for me
Me: Why have you even been thinking about this?
Him: Cuz... I dunno... I just have...

I didn't really have a reply to that. You know? I mean he has been acting more.. Affectionate towards me lately. But I bet he'd ditch me for Ariel again in a second. Kelsey said something like she asked him the other day if he'd ever go out with me again, and he said something like "In a heartbeat". I can't help but feel that he probably doesn't like me actually. But he just thinks he does.

Then the other day he 'tested' me. Faked a situation to see how I'd react and if I was a 'true friend'. I don't like the idea of someone judging me on how well I can deal with things, and that's what they base a friendship off of. It makes me feel paranoid, that at any moment he could be making things up to see what I'll do. I don't like that feeling at all. He said I passed though, yay I guess. Then he said I failed a previous test, but wouldn't tell me what it was. Thanks. I'm being judged and now I can't even fix or defend my actions because he won't tell me why I failed. Failed? Failure friend.

In a side note. I hate peeing in cups.

Sweet Sixteen and hellz yeah I've been kissed.

That was totally not a diss on Ellie. Just like the Never Have I Ever game was totally not an attack. XD I love Ellie-pet.
Anyways. Today's my brithday, all rejoice! And yesterday was my party. Mom decided, hey let's all go to Elitches. Awsome. I can only invite 5 friends. Not so awsome. Upside, there have been few people that haven't been ignoring me, that haven't been annoying, and that get along with eachother. And I invited just those people. So at first it was Jacqi, Caitlin, Ben, Lana, Ellie, but then Caitlin cancelled on me. So I invited Jared, well his brother's birthday was yesterday, so that was a no. Tried inviting Bryan, but he had a picnic, and then tried calling Josh. His phone was off or something. Tried Bryan againnn. And he decided to skip the picnic and come with me. Jacqi came over early and was kinda mad that Caitlin skipped out. We wrapped Cassie's present and made her a duct tape rose, and then went to pick up Bryan. We hung out around my house waiting for people to come and Cassie got her present and she gave me mine which is this super cool pirate book. Everyone else came, we spent time putting on sun screen and such and then we all went to Elitches. Fun time had by all, although I felt bad for Ben who hates roller coasters, and Ellie who gets sick at Elitches. Jacqi, Lana and I tortured Bryan =D Around 7 we went back to my house, and played come card games and Never Have I Ever, which showed that Bryan, Ellie and I were the most innocent. Ellie went home first. We all kinda layed down on the floor, my head on Jacqi's stomach, Bryan's on mine, Lana leaning against my leg, and Ben holding hands with Lana. (OHGODCUTE.) Then Ben left and we moved around and Lana's head was on Bryan's stomach, and her head on Jacqi's stomach. Lana started playing with Bryan's arm and... XD He totally did not hear anything we were saying. Bryan and Lana went home and Jacqi and I went to go take a nap before shirtless o' clock but the alarm was accidently set to 11:00 am, and we slept for hours. Jacqi went home this morning.

Presents:
Pirate boookkk! From Cass
Hugs, quite literally, chocolate. From Ben.
Final Fantasy XI From Lana
$100 dollars from Grandpa.

I think that's it. LOVELOVELOVELOVE

But I...

Never meant to hurt you.
That seems to be a common theme lately. Marty asked me out, I stupidly said yes and for the past few days he's been ticking me off. And I have no clue why. I want to break up with him. And I never meant to hurt him. Again.
Ariel broke up with Bryan. Hey lookie here, Bryan's spending time with Angie again. I kinda feel like a used friend or something. People don't tend to pay much attention to me unless I'm what's left.
Sarah's friends have ben mean to her and now she is paying attention to me.
Kyle's friends are neglecting him, and so he talks to me.
Fall back friend. Back up friend. Something.
Not to all. But to the people I've felt closest with. Odd right. Whatever.

Figure what you fucking want.

You better run for cover because she's ticking like a time bomb and did I meantion that youbothsuck.com.


Anyways. Aside from that, Bryan and Ariel are back together. I'm fuzzy on details but I saw the "Key to her heart" around his neck this morning, it's pretty much assumed they're going back out again. Thing I don't get though is she dumped him for Jesus. Supposeively anyways. Kelsey told me yesterday that she's been flirting with Jesus like mad and asked me if I thought they'd end up dating. Then she leans over and goes "That's why she broke up with Bryan. For him." People need to stop fucking around and just figure out what the hell they want and THINK THINGS THROUGH. God damn.

In other news. I've been TOTALLY spacey today. I took my Space Cadet rank to a whole nother level. I don't even remember most of my classes. I fell asleep during 7th on Alison's lap. Went to Jacqi's house after school and fell asleep on her couch. I assume it's the extra amount of cough syrup I took last night. Mom said to skip it tonight. Whooo.
It so does not feel like almost 11.

UPDATED LIFE.

Cause I feel like saying it here is safe now.
First off. My friends were all rejecting me. Apparently something about Ariel, Bryan, Kelsey, Steven and Misa were in the car, and someone made a comment something like "Well Bryan wishes Angie was here so she could cry and he could jump to her rescue." I think Ariel said it. Kelsey agreed. And then so did Misa. And then they talked about I 'fake pain' to get attention. Because I was having pains after my period had ended they thought I was faking. The pain was in my ribs and I still don't know what it was about. Apparently Steven tried sticking up for me but didn't succeed too well. Since then and a bit before that everyone had been acting weird around me. Marty noticed it one Thursday or something when they started talking about me right after I left school. When I was told about it, I had to keep myself from crying. My friends had turned on me and I didn't know how to feel about it because they still hugged me and acted like nothing happened. Even Misa's cousin didn't like me much. She said she didn't like how quiet I was, and how whenever she tried talking to me I nodded or shrugged. Ariel didn't like me around Bryan. She thought I was going to steal him away or something. She got jealous that he'd tell me things. And she got upset when he told me something about their relationship, which I felt was a double standard. Ariel tells Kelsey EVERYTHING. And Bryan tells me probably about half give or take about anything personal. They all think I'm still 'inlove' with Bryan. I don't understand why that would have any matter in it at all even if I did. I vented to Gareth, and he tried to help. He got me talking to Kelsey. She apologized for me being left out of everything, because she knows how that feels. We started getting better again, and then it kinda stopped. No one else apologized, no one else aknowlegded me anymore. Marty said that Kelsey felt bad about how everyone was treating me, and Marty suggested maybe she only said those things in the car because it was Ariel there. Marty started being the only one who would hang out with me. And he helped a lot. We had some hanging out before school on the ACT testing days or whatever. Then we had a movie night, and I was feeling better about how things were going up until I'd get to see everyone and I'd get the cold shoulder. But when I was with people individually in classes and stuff, they acted the same as they always did. It confused me a lot.
Then. The inevitably bad thing happened. Ariel dumped Bryan. Last night I guess, over the phone too I think. That kinda ticked me off. I hate when people take the coward's way out of a simple break up. I know how it is to be on the reciving end of a wimpy break up. I mean first break up I had was over text. Email's a step up. Then IM, then phone, then in person. I think the only thing worse would be getting your friend to break up with them. Or getting your friend to text them. That would suck. Anyways. Now I guess Ariel doesn't have to feel threatened by me anymore. From what Kelsey says she's got a crush on Jesus now, and from what I hear the feeling is mutual.
It's almost like our group of friends is splintering more than it used to. During seventh Kara, Ariel, Jesus, etc sat at a table. Then Bryan, Marty and me sat at a different one. It's like Bryan, Marty and I are making a group of our own. Rejects of the Rejected if you will. Bryan decided to call us the Anti-Dates, and or SAD. (Spiderman, Angie-Pants, and Deadly Sorrow.) And during passing periods.. It's like we all congregate with everyone in the group from force of habit rather than of actual likingness of one another.
And on the upside, "The Anti-Dates" hung out after school. I kinda skipped out on TAU because Bryan's been in a bit of a fragile state and I wanted to try to get his mind off things. It worked actually. We played with some Airsoft guns, got rid of unexpressed emotions and rage by shooting the hell out of eachother. Marty and I walked home together and talked, and some car went by and said "I hate my father too" I got confused until Marty goes "BIG DADDY!" Movie quotes. Marty and I are goth freaks XD Whatever. Anyways.
My friend Ashley is pregnant. Due in September. I found out about it over the weekend and it's still weird for me to think about.
My birthday is in like 11 days =D
Another up, is that Gareth says that Misa's okay with me again. But yesterday she ditched me on the way to 2nd period when we always walk together. Everyday this semester unless I was in the computer lab or something with my class. It bugged me a lot more than it probably should have. I'm still not very settled with the idea of drifting away from my friends. But it is something I have to get used to. I can't expect to always keep my friends.
I've been talking to Josh LaMuyon or something.. Anyways I've been talking to him tons lately. Staying up late online with him and stuff. He is an extremely awsome person and I never knew.
Downside. I've been sick lately. Mom brought me to the Doctors after school yesterday. They shoved sticks down my throat to see if I had strep. I almost threw up on the nurse. The test was negitive, and the doctor prescribed some stuff. Is it just me or does this Doctor want me to be a pill popper? Last time he precribed me drugs I had to take nine pills a day. Three pills three times a day, with a slight chance of olcers. And that was for my sore back. Now he's like "Sore throat? Let's take 3 ibuprofin three times a day =D" Then he told us to get some Musinex DM or whatever. You know the stuff on the commercials with Mucus setting up home in your lungs.. or something... And then the duct tape.. And his kid... Anyone know what I'm talking about? Well anyways. THAT. And he prescribed some cough syrup for night which is suppose to make my drowsy. It did last night actually. I got super giggily on the phone with Bryan and fell asleep before my cd was over. Before the 3rd song was over.
Also. I applied online for a job at Elitches so I can make some moneys this summer. The survey was kinda weird, and it made mom and I laugh a lot.

Annndddd. I think that's about it.




And for anyone concerned. About everything negitive going on, I feel totally okay with it. I think hanging out with my friends EVERYDAY put a lot of stress on me. Some days to myself where I'd just watch movies have made me feel SO much better. I guess all I really needed was some Angie Alone time. And I know some of my friends had been concerned with how I was taking in everyone's drama. And thanks to Lana I've tried to set myself right, and I'm doing alright. Thanks Lana.