freakin hell, if i could remember what number i left off on id keep on counting, for those of you that are confused, i counted up all the friends who had left, whether it be from my switching schools, them moving, or something else, i got up to the forties, then it stopped for awhile and i stopped counting, i stopped worrying, i got more friends, established relationships, and forgot about the pain of someone leaving
then lee moved, i cried, i regretted not spending more time with her, i missed the old days in art with her me james and connor
james moved or is moving, and might be switching schools
lauras moving
i feel so left out and left behind, yes i was friends with laura, i still am i guess, but no matter how hard i try its like... she doesnt trust me, same with ashley, and mariah, between the three of them they keep so many secrets, mention a bit to me expecting me to know then yanking it away like theyre trying to tease me, they say "oh ill tell you later, i promise" it never happenes... im paient and everything, but im sick and tired of promises, kelly saying she promises as soon as shes ungrounded well hang out, weeks go by and nothing happens, i mention it to her again, she makes another promise, and yet another promise broken, this amung other things is why i hate people, i hate humans, they scare me to death quite honestly, i mean look at our world, people hurting each other left and right, there is almost nothing that you can say that wont offend someone, and people wonder why im quiet
speaking of offencive things, in one of my classes some people in my group were talking about cutting, if you know me well enough you know this is a soft spot for me, they start joking around, as if theyre the type of people that labels any sad looking kid as emo and yells at them to go home and slit their wrists, and you all wonder why someone would want to take their life, the mocking, the pressure all of us endure, especially at school, its a wonder more havent suceeded
have any of you taken a good look at the arms of the people in our school, most of them you can find several scars
yet again im back to only having fun in photography, my love, too bad i have a block, or maybe less of a block and more of i have a bunch of ideas, i just dont scratch that, cant put them on paper, no matter how hard i try
now you all have another taste of my life, its like a freaking baskinrobins
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like mine
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