YOU'RE GOING TO WASH OFF THE HOTDOG TASTE!l

well today is a severely gloomy day, and what better for that than a blog post brought to you by angie? i can tell you what else, apple cider, which i think i may go rumage in the cupboards (as i rape them...) for it ^_^... YAY I FOUND0RZ IT! ^_^ only two packets left... dang... i think this is what i thought the last time i made hot cocoa... then realized... hmm no packets left for there are bugs in them... wow i do majorly stupid things on days like this... like i just took the cup of hot water out of the microwave... saw the steam coming off and smelt the steam.. them realized i havent added the mix yet XD and i asked mom how long was the boiling point of water, XD man i come up with stupid things... ANYWAYS back... to um... things... well for about every night for the past week or so ive been having this dreams... all of them involving trevor in some way or another like the other night i had a dream where i switched study halls and i was then in trevors study hall... then the teacher sent me on a quest for waffles and told me to go to the bank at gmhs to retrieve them... then i almost died and then i woked up ^_^but yea... its been weird dreams like that all involving trevor and damn my wrist itches... MENTOS GUM! anyways... yea all i can remember from my dreams is that he was in them, and its really odd when like i wake up and i roll over and i had another dream involving him o_O; anyways, language arts.. OMG I CRIED then onto photography OMG STILL CRYING thhheeenn i went outside with amber to shoot, and i screwed up her pictures on accident T_T i feel so horrible now... she had an awsome picture too... she took a picture right as i was jumping in a puddle... and speking of puddles, at lunch after i signed leahs dress code violation shirt and trevor made my apple explode... and i tooked his sweatshirt cause i was freezing, i splashed in some puddles ^_^ now i bet your thinking "man thats stupid, your already cold and now your going to make your pants wet and your going to be even more cold" well sadly and oddly enough i didnt realize this and i didnt care at the time, all i wanted to do was jump in the puddles, and it was all brought around by other girls jumping in puddles, because the misty rain hadnt occured to me rain=puddles+jump=me anyways, i started eyeing the puddles and trevor noticed and told me no, then jared started jumping in them and i tried running but he held me back XD it was alot like the elevater game... but i got away and splashed in puddles ^_^ and then study hall we played telephone, and it started with soccer is better than football and came out as brandon is a geek XD

*hits a fastforeward button*
hmm... *pause* LOOK THERES JARED LANA AND I WALKING
*play*
lana:what are you doinnggg?
me and jared:walking?
lana: whyyyyyy?
me: because i want to use my legs before i use them?
lana:why do you use your legggsss?
jared: because i cant float *pout*
lana: who diedddd?
*fastforeward*
*stop*
*play*
i had another weird dream last night... i was going to school with chelsea and daniel, but GM was being rebuilt, so we had to go to the church across the street which is trevors church, as chelsea daniel and i are walking across the street i suddenly go "ah hell... i gotgot to go pick up trevor so he could come over this morning" then we see trevor walking up and then i broke down in "im soooo sorrrryyyyy" then we go into the church and go into these different rooms which are suppose to be our classes but were too jam packed to do anything
about then i woke up and it was 3:42am i tried going back to sleep, woke up again at 5, then went bacdk to sleep and woke up at 5:58 to i turned off my alarm and layed for awhile... cold... then finally got up and such... bleh bleh bleh *fastforeward* yea trevor came over... blah blah blah, we went to school... blah blah blah.. OH STOP! *play* in french before our test we did some yoga, because our french teacher is bugged by the fact that we DONT talk, its kinda amusing... were like the best behavied class and she complains... *fast foreward* *pause* well now i MAY just be grounded. great. just when people want to do things.. well whatever i guess -.- anyways...i went to fujis with laura and we made a video its actually sevrely amusing, and i want to steal sonia's cat ginger, she purrs really loud, and um... went home and this is where i am... hmm...
have any of you noticed how innocent middleschool really was? i mean seriously... everyones changing, people do things that they wouldnt have thought of doing two years ago, a bunch of people having sex, and seriously, these are people that i thought would wait... not like as they said all those "sluts" would, and now they all seem like hypicrits, its kinda scary, especially since its even affecting my friends, for example, daniel clark, okie yea i didnt really have anything against him, he was nice towards me and i was fine towards him, infact he was acturally a very good person to talk to when he wasnt trying to show off, then for half a year hes in some other school, and he comes to highschool and man its like.. hes intoxicated by highschool, like... supposivly in elementary school he had a crush on me and now he hates me i mean really, i would have even consitered him a friend before but now hes just like "god angie, why are you sitting so near me" or "angie your so mean and annoying, get away from me" and was i doing ANYTHING to him? no i wasnt, i simply wanted to sit down, its not my fault he sits near where i wanted to sit, FUCKING HELL I DID NOTHING TO HIM! sure, i may have corrected him because i know that HES trying to show off and hes trying to create this false allusion for everyone to believe, okie yea fine i should have just shut up, and you know what? i think im just going to shut up in general, i will not speak my mind unless someone asks me to, because all it seems to get me is people hating me, and you know what, im sick of it, im sick of all of this, i just want to go somewhere where i dont have to worry, i dont want to be in life anymore, anyone elses or my own, i cause too much trouble, i make everyone feel bad, dont deney i dont, i have made everyone upset atleast once, and im so fucking tired of doing that! it is my fault, everything is my fault, speaking of faults, i have many and most people chooise to either point them out or ignore them, I KNOW I HAVE FAULTS I KNOW IM SEVRELY LESS THAN PERFECT! hell im sevrely below average, and all these people trying to give me false hopes on what i might be should just stop. im not great. at all. if i was someone else, hell i would hate myself, no wonder so many people hate me, no wonder people spread rumors about me, I DONT BLAME THEM, hell i agreee with them, i just wish EVERYONE would feel like that so i wouldnt feel so bad when getting attached to people or hurting someone, I DONT WANT TO CARE ANYMORE gosh i wish i was that jaded teen in all those tv shows.. how i wish..AND ANOTHER THING! lets get this clear. i suck at everything. i am not good at drawing and honestly i think i should just stop posting on dA, or carrying around my sketchbook, shop showing people my drawings because THEY SUCK i should just burn everything. anyone wanna help me? clear my folders upon folders of drawings.
NOW that i have even LOWER self esteem, i think i might do the dishes and maybe my homework, but hey whats the point really? were all going to die something, some sooner than others and at this rate of how careless i am it just might be sooner