its crazy but its true, i only want to be with you

HEY! its so me again, no its so someone else... although with my mind thats not to far from possible, anyways... WE SO HAVE THINGS TO DOWNLOAD MUSIC NOW!
^____________________________^ its my friend buuuttt... we have so many freaking things to play music on its not even funny -.-; mom hates it, i know how to work two of them, but mom uses one of them to download music onto her ipod anyways... i so cant wait for band to end... which is kinda odd because im not even in band, i want my friends back though, about the only one who even attempts to hang out with me anymore is trevor, although i did go to the mall with lana and kelly not too long ago, and we found travis some joey kid, casey and alex, that was fun.. but i was reminded of how much of an outcast i am, travis noticed that i always lagged behind the crowd, behind everyone, and he asked why, then lana said that she noticed that too, and that they felt bad because they felt they were leaving me out, and trevis even pushed me to the front of the crowd, and within seconds i was back at the back of the crowd, kinda sad... but i get really paranoid when walking infront of people...like at any given moment i could turn around and they could have all desserted me, it just freaks me out, especially with my fear of being abandoned and such i guess im just not good in big groups really... but atleast while i was at the mall with kelly and lana i got two hugs, both from travis, although... i always feel kinda odd going anywhere with kelly and lana, they have so many inside jokes and im left out of about all of them, not only that but while i was at the mall with them... i started getting really self conscience, anyways yesterday after school julie randomly asked me for a hug, which i found kinda odd because shes never asked me that before, then she got distracted by some other people, and i hugged her and scurried off, im still kinda odd about hugs though, not as much as i used to be, i used to hate hugs, much like half of my friends, but now i give hugs to about everyone, like jared XD cause trevor hurt him so i gave him a hug to make it all better XD everyone loves jared, even trevor... YOU KNOW IT TREVOR YOU LOVE HIM AND WANT TO MARRY HIM! or atleast hug him ^_^ hmm.. well i have no idea what to be for halloween... although im not sure if that matters anyways im done ^_^