Shaken. Not stirred.

Dance. That was eventful. It started out well. I went as a pirare wench. Speedy met June and I there. There was much dancing. I left black lipstick on the cheeks of many. I think about a half hour before the dance ended the ambulence and paramedics came. I feel guilty. I gave him the soda and made him overly hyper. I was the one who wanted to dance to 'Shout'. I got him too worked up. Something happened. He got dizzy, he fell over himself or something like that. He fell backwards and hit his head. It all happened so fast, yet everything was so slow. I pulled him close to me on the gym floor. June and I had to almost carry him to the commons, he couldn't walk on his own power. I think he was still dizzy. We sat him down at the tables and gave him some water. Bari came over and some other administration. Bari let us outside to get some fresh air. I know it was cold out. I had left most of my layers in the check out. The cold was not why I couldn't stop shaking. I didn't want to touch him, I didn't want to hurt him. Bari called the paramedics and within seconds you could hear the sirans. I eventually tried to hold his hand, let him know I was still there. He wouldn't look up, it didn't matter, I couldn't look him in the eye anyhow. I couldn't get up the words to say it was okay to squeeze my hand as hard as he wanted, but he seemed to know it anyways. Every few seconds he'd squeeze my hand as he winced in pain. I tried to not let my shaking get to my hand. I tried not to cry, and when that wasn't possible, I tried to not cry loud. I tried to not sniffle. They asked him questions and he spoke quietly. They asked me questions to, I couldn't bring myself to talk at normal level. My voice was shakey. They brought the grittie. People were watching from the commons windows. They suggested taking him to the hospital. I suddenly started crying harder. Speedy knew it. He squeezed my hand, not out of pain, but because he knew I was crying. June watched quietly, she laughed at the paramedics jokes when they decided not to take him to the hospital. He told them he didn't pass out. I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth or not. I know he was scared too. Speedy signed the papers as they tried to get ahold of parents. Speedy's family doesn't have phones. They got ahold of his grandma. Speedy pulled me closer so I'd sit next to him. I still couldn't bring myself to look at him. I was shaking badly and he was trying to calm me down. I guess he was doing better by then and just worrying about me. He asked me what was wrong. All I could get out was, "You scared the hell out of me." He kept saying he was sorry. He didn't mean to. "Look at me. Angie? Look at me. Please?.... Angie, please. It's okay.. I'm okay.. It just stings a little. Angie? Please look at me?... It's okay... Angie, calm down. Stop shaking. Angie... calm... calm.. It's okay.. I'm still here, aren't I? I'll be here tomorrow too.. I didn't die or anything.. Angie?" That last part. 'I didn't die or anything' made me cry harder. I couldn't look at him. Every time he tried to move my head I got fridgid. Everytime he tilted my head I shut my eyes tightly. His mom arrived, his grandma and his sister. I had to borrow his sister's phone to call my mom. She didn't sound happy that I was calling a half hour after the dance was over. Cassie was sent to pick June and I up. I got up slowly, still not looking at him. He hugged me and I was forced to look at him when he put his forehead to mine. I walked off slowly, arms at my sides, dragging my boots, reliving the whole experience over and over. Am I okay? I don't know. I can't get this out of my head. What would have happened if they wanted him to go to the hospital? Would my mom let me go? What would happen? I don't even know how he's doing now.. I hope he's going to be okay.. There's the story for the dance. I still can't totally stop shaking.

I wrote that last night but blooger wouldnt let me post.
I saw Speedy today. We had been planning to go to Elitches today, but because of his head we went to the mall and to see a movie instead. His head still hurts, he still squeezes my hand when it hurts, and when the Grudge 2 freaked him out. Maybe he'll be okay by tomorrow.