It doesn't hurt, it feels fine.

So. Oodles of drama today. Almost all of it during 7th too. So let me retell adventures of 7th period. So it began with Allison crying. Over Victor, aka Speedy. Well because apparently they're dating and Speedy's been kissing on Kara's arms and such. So Bryan, Charlie, Marty, Matt, Lana, Sasha, Kelsey, and I are all huddled around Allison trying to cheer her up. Funny part is most of us had seventh off. Anyways, we get her feeling better. David and Speedy come along. Kara and Allison walk off. Then while Lana, Bryan, Marty and I are hanging out in the commons, Kelsey comes up and says she needs to talk to me about stuff. Obviously about Bryan stuff. Before she said anything she made me promise not to hurt myself in any way, shape or form. I promised, then she told me Bryan was cutting. Cutting after he promised me he wouldn't. After promising me he'd call me before thinking about doing that. Promising me he'd find some other healthy way to vent. He cuts. I stood there for a minute. All I said was "Why?" then after a couple more moments I couldn't hold it in. I started crying. All I could really think of was the conversation I had only moments ago with Lana. Saying that I was mostly emotional because my friends have so much drama, and they're always depressed. I was fine only moments ago. Kelsey held me for awhile then offered to go for a walk. The walk ended in the commons where Bryan was. I cried harder and cling to Kelsey. Everyone around was asking if I was okay. Voices I didn't even reconize. Security guards every few minutes would suggest I go to the counsling office. I shook my head no, and Kelsey tried to reason with Fred and Venessa, telling them sometimes all someone needs is their friends. After a coupld minutes my head got kinda woozy and I fell to my knees. Fred started yelling at us to go to a table and such. Kelsey goes back to TAing for the counsiling office. Then one of the administration finally drags me off to the counsiling office, they told Bryan he could come too since he was the one holding me. He held me on the walk there, and squeezed me everytime I told them I didn't want to talk. He knew perfectly well what I didn't want to talk about and why I was upset. We get down there, they keep telling me to spell my last name. Bryan and I sit next to Kelsey. The lady who I don't know keeps telling me to talk, talk to a peer counsilor, talk to Bryan, talk to the vice pricipal since apparently no one else was avaliable. She told me that if we didn't start feeling better we'd have to talk to the vice principal. After she repeats that a couple times because she obviously didn't see my head nod she leaves. Bryan leans closer, as hes still holding me and says "Time for acting." and I knew exactly what he meant. He knew I didn't want to be there, I know he didn't want to be there either. Within seconds we were both laughing over tanning goggles and in ten minutes we decided to leave for the commons. But the acting didn't stop there. We went into the commons with Kelsey laughing and acting fine. Everyone gave me hugs. And David demanded to know what was going on, I told him what I told everyone else. I don't want to talk about it. David shook me, "But you have to talk to someone! You'll explode! You have to talk to someone." and I told him I didn't doubt that it'd come out eventually. He took this as a hint that I'd tell him. I cleared that up. He askd if I'd tell him later. Tomorrow. Friday? The weekend? Nope, Maybe. I don't know. David dear, I don't have any way of communicating with you outside of school. He later gave me his number, and told me to call him. Lana spoke to me in french and I had to have her translate. I told her I'd probably tell her what was going on with me later. When I got home I was texting Bryan demaning explination and such. After awhile I couldn't handle talking to him anymore and I called Kyle. Suprizingly he answered. We both vented to eachother about current drama, then I had to go because Cassie was home. I vented to a lot of people online. And I was going to tell Lana, but she's not online and she's at her mom's house. The house of which I don't know the number off and the house in IDLEDALE. The IDLEDALE which gives no phone service. EVER.
I feel guilty about Bryan's cutting. I felt that I should have been there for him. I should have been able to help. It hurts he was hiding it from me. It hurts that he felt he couldn't talk to me about something. I plan on telling him the jist of that the next time we can have a long talk, which might just be tomorrow before school.

On the upside. I have awsome friends and random people who care about me. And I mean tons. There was like a circle of people around me when I looked up when Kelsey went back to TAing.
Another up. I get my hair dyed tomorrow. Whooo.