"Fucking Mexicans are shorter."

Great letter sent to Dr. Laura:

On Laura Schlessinger's radio show recently, she said
that homosexuality is an abomination, according to
Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any
circumstances.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura,
penned by a US resident, which was posted on the
Internet. It's funny, as well as thought-provoking.

******************************************
Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding
God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and
try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.
When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for
example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly
states it to be an abomination... End o debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some
other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both
male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring
nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans,
but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned
in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would
be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while
she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24.
The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women
take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my
neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I
smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the
Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to
death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or
should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating
shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser
abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you
settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar
of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit
that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be
20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed,
including the hair around their temples, even though this
is expressly forbidden by Lev. 9:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a
dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football
if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by
planting two different crops in the same field, as does
his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds
of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to
all the trouble of getting the whole town together to
stone them (Lev.24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them
to death at a private family affair, like we do with people
who sleep with their in-laws (Lev.20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus
enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am
confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that
God's word is eternal and unchanging.


Haha. I love people who point out that type of things from the Bible and stuff.
Anyways.

PLANES
"Welcome to the Planes, please keep your arms and legs inside the planes at all times. Do not stand until the ride has come to a complete and final stop, and enjoy your ride."
-Under 54" no infants.
-Seats 16, two per plane.
-Pull the lever back to go up, push it forward to down down. Some get stuck when the ride ends and so the kids have to push the lever forward.
-Two start buttons, you have to press the pink start button after the green one and the ride has started to pick up speed.
-Wait til the motor turns off to hit e-stop.

CRAZY BUS
"Welcome to Crazy Bus, please keep your arms and legs inside the bus at all times. Do not stand until the ride has come to a complete and final stop. Are you guys ready?"
-Under 54" over 36". Over 54" must be accompanied by someone under 54".
-Breaks down a lot.
-Lots of buttons on the control panel, but don't press e-stop, reset, or change the direction of the bus.
-Let the bus go around 7-10 rotations then hit stop while the bus is at the top. Alternate Stop and Start until the bus is in the right spot for people to get off. If you go past that spot let the bus go around another rotation.
-Press lever at back of the bus to release lapbars.
-Seats... I think 24.
-Four per row.

MINI-SWINGS
"Welcome to the Mini-Swings. Please keep your arms and legs inside your swings at all times, do not kick hit or grab the swings around you. Please stay seated with the seatbelts buckled until the ride comes to a complete and final stop. Are you guys ready?"
-Under 54" over 35" no exceptions.
-Seats 20, one per swing.
-Takes forever to stop, and doesn't tend to stop if there's wind.
-The petal to start the ride is about as retarded as the one for Convoy.
-Ride is only about 40 seconds long. Longer if you keep hitting Start.
-No e-stop, only Stop.

Nine rides yay!

...And racist people suck. There was a guy last night who got mad at me because his daughter was too tall to ride Planes. He said something about "Fucking mexians being able to go on because the fucking mexicans are shorter. We're in AMERICA, we have taller kids and you need to adjust to AMERICAN heights." because his daughter was only 9. Too bad the rides are according to height, not age. Funny thing was he was yelling this at me, while sitting on a bench right behind Josh, who is mexican. Josh didn't hear him though, or I bet he would have gone off on him.