To whom it may concern:

I hate you so much for abandoning me and making it hard to trust anyone. Do you know how hard it is to get a best friend while in highschool? Everyone already has the friends they want. You convinced me that everyone would leave as soon as they found better. Which seemingly was a lot easier when you have a set of wheels.

I hate you for dumping me the way you did. Although it would have helped if you had talked to me regularly or even told me what I did so I could improve myself.

I hate you for making me feel like I'm worthless. Because of you I hate myself, and inturn piss of my friends when I disagree when they complaiment me.

I hate you for ditching me as soon as you found some guy online. I don't get a good feeling from him, but I don't think you care. I hate you because you stopped being excited when I came online after school. I hate that you never had time for me because you were always on RO. I hate that now all we do is guilt eachother. I hate how promises mean nothing now because you're priorities have changed.

I hate that people treat you like crap. I hate how you feel so lucky to have us because we really aren't much. I hate that I'm getting closer to you and I'm afriad of losing you.

I hate that I'm emotional enough to be crying right now.

I hate that you tossed me aside. I hate that I get mad at you when I know I love you. I hate that I hurt you when I hurt myself.

I hate that you never talk to me unless you have nothing better to do. I hate that I feel that when you talk to me you're talking down to me.

I hate how you treated her when she gave you so much. I hate that you caused her so much pain. I hate how you brushed off our friendship as if it was nothing. I hate how I will always associate my favorite hobby with memories of you.

I hate how you treated him and how you made him believe he was not good enough for living. I hate how you put him on the brink. I hate that you kept just giving him hope just to take it away. I hate you for convincing everyone I was a horrible person. I hate how fake you are. I hate how you manipulate people for your biding. I hate how you act like you care that you have no friends when it was all your plan all a long.

I hate you because you smoke.

I hate you for never calling at the right time and how it's just not the same. I hate that we grew apart and that we never talk. I hate how you go through girls. I hate how your personality is starting to turn. I hate that I can't make you happy anymore or even laugh.

I hate you for left without any explination.

I hate you for killing yourself and making me feel like it was my fault because I wouldn't date you.

I hate how you get so indepth of things and how you say you're inlove with him and her when you have no idea what love is, and all you ever felt was a crush.

I hate how peaceful you are. I want to see you scream, I want to see you shout. I hate that you're still mopey.

I hate how you can't give it a rest. I hate how you're still stuck on him. IT WAS NOTHING. Fucking get over it. I hate how everyone hates you.

I hate you for exiling me and now apologizing like you had no mind of your own. Was I really that easy to get rid of?

I hate you for getting close to him when he's mine. I hate how you talk to him more than me when I knew you first, when I took you in, and when I held you when you cried. I hate how I didn't even get a thanks, but you text him every day like I was nothing.

I hate that you date her. I hate that you never hung out with me because you were always busy but you'd drop everything to be with her.

I hate how you cry to get whatever you want. We all went through the same things and we grinned and went on, but you didn't. You made a big deal every time and I hate you. I hate you for being serious and as soon as I turned on you, you played it off as a joke.

I hate that I left you and now I'm to scared to talk to you. I hate that you won't talk to me first. I hate that we fell apart. I hate that now we're even in the same school and we've not said even two words to eachother.

I hate you because you came back and didn't even come talk to me. I hate that you stopped writting as did I. I hate you for being more well adjusted and for being bored everytime I try to hang out with you.

I hate you for telling me we're going to hang out and everytime something comes up. Do you know how it feels to be pyched to hang out with someone then watch someone else get a call from you telling them to hang out instead? It hurts.

I hate you for changing. I hate you for changing your opinions about people every couple days and everything is still alright.

I hate you for being inlove with her.

I hate you for being such a slut. I hate you for not thinking. I hate what you've become.

I hate you for never being around. I hate your parents for making it so hard to be around you. I hate you for ditching me in study hall freshman year.

I hate you for bailing and telling lies. I hate you for trying to pressure me into drugs. I hate you so much.

I hate you for dating her because I don't think she treats you well.

I hate you for worrying me all the time.

I hate you for being so emotional even though I used to be the same.

I hate you for dating her right after we started getting close. I hate that I hate you. I hate that I miss you. I hate that you never call. I hate that I missed a chance. I hate you for not listening to me.

I hate you for hateing me because I'm different. I hate how you used to treat me and now how you treat her. I hate you're personality and I hope you get what's coming to you.

I hate you for never talking to me anymore when we used to be so close.

I hate that you all made me hate myself.

I change so much between these posts.

I guess I should update more. But at least I'm updating at all.
I've recently been becoming closer with Claire, a girl who was in my first aid class. When Bryan and I first hung out with her at her house she told her mom "Look I have friends!" She told us that she only had like two friends. We both thought she was joking but apparently not.
When Bryan and I went to abduct her from her house today, she told me that she had been talking to her other friends and they were just bashing her. Telling her that she was hard to love and hard to put up with. Honestly, it seems a little hard for me to believe. She's one of the sweetest people I've met. She's so like... glad to meet Steven, Bryan and everyone because we're unbelievably nice to her according to her. I just don't know. She seems to have nothing wrong with her, and I don't get any bad vibes from her in the slightest.
She can't be any worse than Ariel though. Man that sounds mean.
Speaking of Ariel, she's definitly no longer a threat. Bryan cut the ties, along with the ties to his stalkerish girl Sarah from Illinois. She tried at least twice to get Bryan to have phone sex with her. She kept telling him that she was thinking of him and fingering herself. And afterward he would tell her that he loves his girlfriend. He hung up on her, deleted her number and won't answer her calls or texts anymore.
Then I told him he's amazing.

In other news, I love Freezepop. It's so upbeat and just awrkjthbwejiktrn.
I got a reapplication to Elitches if I didn't mention before. I think it's going to be weird going back again, but I'll get to see Tabby regularly again. Now the question is, if I should go back while school is still going or not.
I'll figure it our eventually.

Does anyone know what lunch Theatre has?

Hello again insecurities, old friend, make yourself at home.

Well I haven't posted around here in a long while. Since I was still working at Elitch's. The season has been over for months. It's now break as everyone is joyful for. FINALS OVER. Until the end of the year. Whoo.
Bryan and I are still dating and going strong. I guess.
Today he t... Well yesterday now. He told me Ariel still has a crush on him. She talked to him at school after ignoring all of the group for a while, even exiling her own Kelsey, who has been becoming closer to me. I know I really shouldn't be as worried as I am about this. He's reassured me that he won't leave me for her, or anyone else. I wasn't so much worried about everyone else though; I know of the other girls who have crushes on him and even one who tries to act on it. But Ariel's different. Ariel's sneaky, back stabby and all around phony. What if she gets him to turn against me? The odds are low but I'm still scared.
Gem and Caroline are back and bickering again.
I feel like crying. I know I shouldn't be so invested in someone because when/if something happens my world comes crashing down and I'm left feeling fairly useless and numb. It's a bit too late to be playing my emotions safe though.. Almost 7 months.. Shouldn't I be safe?
Well.. I thought the same thing about Trevor.
Well. Damn.
Shut up Angie.




Also. I lost everyone's blog links and all when I was trying to get my blog to stop being stupid with the column on the right. I think I fixed it all but losing links I used to go to quite often. Comment me with links? Kthx.

Don't kick the 79 year old horses.

TABBY TAUGHT ME ON CAROLSEL. Yay.
Tidbits about the other rides I know. :

SOFTPLAY.
-Honestly, I think this is useless. It's just a playground. People can take there kids to McDonalds or a park for less.
-Under 54" Adults can watch kids but not play.
-Maximum of one kid going down the slide at once.
-Keep shoes on.
-When it rains, watch for puddles.
-Only need to be 14 to run this 'ride'
-No spiel.
-No more than 50.

FOAMFACTORY.
"Welcome boys and girls to the FoamFactory. For your safety, there is no running or horseplay allowed. As a reminder, Elitch Gardens is not responcable for any lost or stolen articles. Also, please keep your shoes on while in the FoamFactory. Thank you, and enjoy the rest of your stay here at Elitch Gardens." I think there's more, but I can't remember. I don't have it memorized. It's written on the phone box and I just read it. BUT YOU GET A PRETTY INTERCOM.
-Under 54" unless with someone under 54"
-No more than 100 people inside. We don't inforce this well.
-Maximum of one child down the slide at once.
-DON'T EAT THE GODDAMN FOAMBALLS.
-Keep shoes on.
-Only need to be 14 to run also.
-The top is blocked by employees when it rains a lot and the top gets slick. We sit on the stairs and in the slides. Kinda fun.
-Don't sit in Granny's wheelchair.

KIDDIE COASTER.
"Welcome to the KiddieCoaster. For your safety and the safety of others please keep your arms and legs inside the Coaster at all times. We're going to go around a total of three times, and each time we're going to stop. If you want to stay on give me a thumbs up, if you want off give me a thumbs down." Then I ask if their ready. Make them yell loud, and let it go.
-No foot pedal.
-Press ball on the end of stick and pull back on the lever to the no break position while the chain is on.
-When the last cart is on the chain put the brakes on and hold it otherwise it'll just go through the station.
-Stop at silver line, but not after the yellow pole.
-Press the levers on the sides of the carts to release the lap bars.
-No parents on the top platform on the exit. Safety Hazard.
-Under 54"over 36" no exceptions.
-Stop chain whenever steping away from the brakes.

OBS. TOWER. ATTENDANT.
-Basically I just make sure people aren't being stupid on the deck. They only had time to train me on attendant position, not operator.
-Check the wind gage every so often to make sure it isn't in the danger zone and stuff.
-Yup.

CAROLSEL.
"Welsome everyone to the Carolsel. For your safety and the safety of others please keep all arms, hands and legs on your own horse at all times. Please make cure that you are not sitting side saddle, backwards, or two on one horse. Also, there is absolutly no switching horses or chariots while the ride is in motion. Thank you and enjoy your ride."
-Only 60 people on at once.
-The side oppisite to the entrance gate is the high side. Try to put people over there so the carolsel is balenced.
-The the height stick and turn it upside down, incert under carolsel and walk around it making sure it goes all the way around without getting stuck. This shows the carolsel is balenced enough that it will not scrape on the bottom.
-Under 36" to be accompanied by an adult. They can stand next to the child and balence them on a horse or sit in a chariot with them but not sitting on the same horse with them.
-Sometimes the music will stop and I have to go inside and hit play on the CD player. Lame.
-Four chariots and some odd horses.
-Hit e-stop when the green light goes off.
"As you may have noticed, the carolsel is slowing down. Please stay seated until the carolsel has come to a complete and final stop. At which time you may pick up any loose articles you may have left behind, then please exit to the gate to my right. Have a great day here at Elitch Gardens."
Wait til ride stops...
"Aright guys, you can go ahead and get off your horses now. Have a great day."
Or what I started doing.
"Smile, it's contagious!"
I also talked with the people. Made them say YeeHaw. Told them random facts about Carolsel. And yelled at the kids switching horses. Don't think I don't see it. Most of the time I notice. I do have mirrors. And it pisses me off when people do this because it can off balence it and screw the ride up.

FACTS ABOUT CAROLSEL.
-It took three years for carvers to hand carve and paint the individual horses and chariots.
-It was completed in 1928. Making the Carolsel 79 years old now.
-Carolsels turn counter clock wise, and Merry-Go-Rounds turn clockwise.
-The side of the horses that faces out is called the romance side and is decorated more elaboratly than the sides facing the inside. This is because they didn't want to pay the carvers to carve the sides that would rarely be seen.


INOTHER NEWS.
There's this new kid at work named Matt. He's pretty awsome, Tabby and I made insta-friends with him.
First day running Carolsel, and some kid wet herself on one of the Chariots. Akeem and Ashley had to come over to clean it up. I'm not authorized to. YAY.

Seasons almost over. Sad Day. I'mma miss everyone.

I probably spelled Carolsel wrong over and over. Lana don't have a seizure.

More Rants

I never have any time for blogging anymore. But I need a little venting time.

Spent the night at Arielle (From work)'s house last night because I went to her homecoming dance. Fun time. This morning I went to church with her and her family. Not as fun. I will not be joining a church anytime soon. Especially if they greet me the same way. I mean, it wasn't bad... Just scared me. A lot. The Pastor or whatnot yells out "HEY ARIELLE WHY DON'T YOU INTRODUCE US TO YOUR FRIEND!" Shoom! Everyone turns their head to look at the back row where I'm sitting between Arielle's cousin Joel and Arielle. I start going into fetal position defence mode. Arielle introduced me and everyone in unison says "WELCOME ANGELA". I try to smile, but I'm pretty sure everyone could see the obvious fear on my face.
After church, Arielle and I call in work to see when we work. By now it's 10:30. They tell me I work at 11. Shit. We tell Arielle's mom and she looks to be getting in the car to bring us home to get ready for work. WHOO. We're on the road heading out, but we're somewhere in Aurora so I have no idea where the hell I am and if we're on the way home then.. Oh hey look McDonalds. What? I thought you just said we were going home to get ready for work? No. Apparently not. Done ordering? 11. I'm late. Texting Tabby. Then Arielle's mom ecides to drop Nick off at home on the way back. More wasted time. Arielle takes forever to get ready. Traffic. I'm now an hour and a half late. Not to mention I left m badge at home and so mom had to run it up to HR to give it to me. Arielle then takes forever getting a temp badge. More traffic. This is cool. I'm an hour an 40 minutes late. Thanks. I do as much to help to make up for it. Barbra says it's fine. I still willingly give up coaster to go to a ride I don't like but Briona doesn't know so things are easier. I float mini swings and Crazy Bus during the last half hour. Then go to pick up Foam Factory balls.
A work rant not about parents? SHOCKER. Here we go. I was having an okay day. It was a bit busy and tiring but okay. Then while we're picking up foam balls Josh, Daniel, Arielle, and Andrea do NOTHING but throw them around. Throwing them in the places Tabby, Sharon, Akeem, and I JUST picked up. Then they start throwing them a us when we tell them to throw the fucking balls in the bags. Tabby needed to get home to her kid. I needed to just get out. Plus I had a bit of homework. They keep screwing around and start throwing the balls at me and Tabby. I make comments about them just needing to help or get signed out. Tabby made comments about killing Daniel. And Sharon making comments about crushing some not foam balls.
On the way out of the park some South Parkers started harrassing Tabby and me. "o0o Kiddielanders, so intimidating. How much you guys get paid in Kiddie Land? 1.50 an hour?" Etc. It got annoying. Tabby and I decided to beat them with Carasel's height stick.
There's this new kid in KDL named Westley. He bugs me. His teeth bug me. Those little square things for braces? He randomly has them on his teeth. No wire. Just the little squares. I'm not much of a shallow person so aside from that. His working ability bugs me and kinda scares me. I was watching him do MiniSwings before I was floating it and Crazy Bus. He doesn't watch the ride. And he doesn't even look at anything else of importance. He just looks up at the sky, watches people on the mainway. He doesn't have his hand on the e-stop, stop, or even the control panel. He sits on the water Jug which is how much of them are broken. He doesn't watch the children try to get on or off. He called in his turnstiles with people on his ride. He tried talking to me while his ride was running, meaning he had to turn around. Not only that. But he played with the alarm. The stupid annoying alarm. It's like this siren noise that only stops when you let go of the button. He didn't. That sound made me want to hurt him. So.. Much.. HE WOULDN'T STOP. It'd help if the alarm helped him pay attention to ANYTHING with the ride he was running. But no it didn't. I told Tabby to tell him if he didn't stop, I'd throw my key at him. Or Akeem. Or my counter. Just make him shut up. No one told him. Tabby went away for awhile and came back and I was sitting on one of the planters since no one was at my ride. I started talking to her and in midsentence- REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERrrrrrrrrrr.... rrrRREEEEEEEEEEEEE- Instant glare and twitch from me. It made Tabby laugh. I was glad he finally left and left me to do his ride.
I think Jon and Liz just.. Nevermind I won't get into that. I need a shower.
I only don't know three things in KDL now. Balloons, Carasel, and Operator at Obs Tower. Yay.

School's tomorrow.

And for everyone but freshmen it starts at like 11:30. Yet I'm probably still going early.
I got a compliament at work. WHOO. Shannon came up to me all excited and hugged me. For the next three times he saw me he id the same thing. It was odd.
Found my student ID after losing it like 3 days after I got it.
Elitch's only open on weekends now.
Hung out with Josh outside of work, fun.
I never ended up going school clothes shopping and I think that ticked off my mom.
Need a new wallet that will fit in my pocket.
Blarg. TOO SOON.

"Fucking Mexicans are shorter."

Great letter sent to Dr. Laura:

On Laura Schlessinger's radio show recently, she said
that homosexuality is an abomination, according to
Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any
circumstances.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura,
penned by a US resident, which was posted on the
Internet. It's funny, as well as thought-provoking.

******************************************
Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding
God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and
try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.
When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for
example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly
states it to be an abomination... End o debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some
other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both
male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring
nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans,
but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned
in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would
be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while
she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24.
The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women
take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my
neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I
smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the
Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to
death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or
should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating
shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser
abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you
settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar
of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit
that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be
20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed,
including the hair around their temples, even though this
is expressly forbidden by Lev. 9:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a
dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football
if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by
planting two different crops in the same field, as does
his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds
of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to
all the trouble of getting the whole town together to
stone them (Lev.24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them
to death at a private family affair, like we do with people
who sleep with their in-laws (Lev.20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus
enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am
confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that
God's word is eternal and unchanging.


Haha. I love people who point out that type of things from the Bible and stuff.
Anyways.

PLANES
"Welcome to the Planes, please keep your arms and legs inside the planes at all times. Do not stand until the ride has come to a complete and final stop, and enjoy your ride."
-Under 54" no infants.
-Seats 16, two per plane.
-Pull the lever back to go up, push it forward to down down. Some get stuck when the ride ends and so the kids have to push the lever forward.
-Two start buttons, you have to press the pink start button after the green one and the ride has started to pick up speed.
-Wait til the motor turns off to hit e-stop.

CRAZY BUS
"Welcome to Crazy Bus, please keep your arms and legs inside the bus at all times. Do not stand until the ride has come to a complete and final stop. Are you guys ready?"
-Under 54" over 36". Over 54" must be accompanied by someone under 54".
-Breaks down a lot.
-Lots of buttons on the control panel, but don't press e-stop, reset, or change the direction of the bus.
-Let the bus go around 7-10 rotations then hit stop while the bus is at the top. Alternate Stop and Start until the bus is in the right spot for people to get off. If you go past that spot let the bus go around another rotation.
-Press lever at back of the bus to release lapbars.
-Seats... I think 24.
-Four per row.

MINI-SWINGS
"Welcome to the Mini-Swings. Please keep your arms and legs inside your swings at all times, do not kick hit or grab the swings around you. Please stay seated with the seatbelts buckled until the ride comes to a complete and final stop. Are you guys ready?"
-Under 54" over 35" no exceptions.
-Seats 20, one per swing.
-Takes forever to stop, and doesn't tend to stop if there's wind.
-The petal to start the ride is about as retarded as the one for Convoy.
-Ride is only about 40 seconds long. Longer if you keep hitting Start.
-No e-stop, only Stop.

Nine rides yay!

...And racist people suck. There was a guy last night who got mad at me because his daughter was too tall to ride Planes. He said something about "Fucking mexians being able to go on because the fucking mexicans are shorter. We're in AMERICA, we have taller kids and you need to adjust to AMERICAN heights." because his daughter was only 9. Too bad the rides are according to height, not age. Funny thing was he was yelling this at me, while sitting on a bench right behind Josh, who is mexican. Josh didn't hear him though, or I bet he would have gone off on him.