DONT SAY THE S WORD

well i just got home from a band concert, that was fun, although justin and cassie had to drive me there... in the truck, justin kept elbowing me in the chest and his ribs are really boney e_e; justin wanted to stay and watch... and yell, and cassie wanted to go do something else, so they dropped me off a half hour early, i ended up sitting not too far from the door and throughout about the whole concert i had like... a bubble around me where no one sat XD, but i got all nervous and started figgiting with my hands and ended up making myself bleed... and after it was over, chris found me, hugged me and told me to go see her drawing of an acordian, so i followed her she showed it to me and asked if i knew what it was XD from there i stood outside the bandroom and saw a bunch of my friends, hugged ellie, patted sharon and ellie dragged me off to get some coffee ^____^ i ate some cookies, claimed those as the rest of my dinner i didnt get to finish before i went, stood around, fiddled more with my hands, now a bunch of my fingers are sore... went home... whooooo

and now for the rest of the day, english erm... i dont remember, science... i dont remember either, photography, i spun around, ran back and forth, and such for ambers project, then we just messed around for awhile, went and saw trevor XD geography i talked with jared and austin as usual, lunch erm... i ended up getting in a really odd mood and punched, jumped on, and kicked trevor jared and scott, i ended up just wanting to run around and scream by the time i had to go to study hall,and i walked around all fast and people thought i was avoiding them, study hall i thin i passed out XD and i kept giggling, french i was a bit more calm, and i dont remember french or math whoooo

Hate and devour the young and the weaker ones, and dont forget the guns.

Hate all the poeple you love, in a river of blood, and don't forget the guns, you need'em to destroy- always destroy- yourself- yourself.

It feels like its been months since I've posted last. I think I may be needing to vent my feelings and emotions here less because now I have a boyfriend for that XDXD Nah, but he is a good "outlet". Anyways, I happen to be at my Aunt Cindy's house at the moment, and am sitting in the dark. Whoo. Thanksfreakingiving is tomorrow, and Christmas isn't too far off. Things are changing, for the better or the worse I'm not sure. But Lee's leaving felt like a pretty positive "FUCK NO!", as it left me crying and feeling like I got punched in the stomach. To help me I've been listening to loud music non-stop, and for the most part it used to help me tune out my thoughts. That is not the case now. Now that I've heard these songs over 70 times, they can mold in the back of my mind nicely. Bad news for me. Makes me sevrely emtional, whether that or it's the PMS. ACK CAT ATTACKING MY BACK! Erm.. Yes... Okay, so I'm emotionally unstable. I guess I should go home tomorrow instead of staying up here with Cassie. Cassie will just make me worse, that and Trevor-withdrawl. And yes I do get that. And now I'm paranoid... There's a cat that's sevrely hyper behind me.

enough with grammar, i honestly dont remember why im posting in this, maybe because no one is talking to me right now XD boredom=boring post whooo! which at the most, 3 people are oging to read, so i wasted part of three peoples lives and probably killed part of their souls too OHWELL! anyways, angies done now... or according to the fridge, im anjih...and about to die with music.. dang..

Another rant about cassie

you know what really sucks? when cassie takes something i feel strongly about contrdicts it then asks for a "favor" OKIE THATS THE SHORT STORY THE LONG ONE ISSS!:
last night when i was making mom a cappicino cassie asks where i got the photo from my backround, i honestly couldnt remember i think it was off of quizzila or something, well then she starts going through my pictures folder and asks to use some of the pictures, i said no not without asking the people permission because thats all art theifty, she yells "yea i know but you know what i dont care!" then she keeps looking and grabs my arm, like she normally does when she wants me to do something, i yank it away and yell "dont touch me" because eventhough she may not realize it, or maybe its on purpose but she hits me hard, she grabbs onto me hard, she "pats my head" hard, hell she would leave bruses if i didnt back off so fast, and she still persists on hurting me, like oh hey shell be fine, shes got no feelings, its alright to punch her, ANYWAYS i got ticked off at her then she decided she wanted to use my desktop, i pushed her out of the way and changed the desktop because im still ticked off at her that she was on my freaking messengers! then when i said id put a password on my desktop cassie goes "oh thats so hard your passwords are always the same" THEN TOLD JUSTIN WHAT THEY WERE freakin hell, yes i do know her password, i can go and mess up everything she has, but im better than that! hell i know enough things to probably get her kicked out of the house, but do i EVER EVEN ONCE tell our parents? NO! because i SAID i wouldnt i PROMISED, but as soon as i say one thing to cassie she ALWAYS runs and tells mom, and she tells ME that i go by dount standards? EXCUSE ME!? and one of the things i hate most is that bi can stay mad for long amounts of time, cassie would yell at me, ill get pissed off, and she comes right back all nice to ask me to do something, i mean really, she came come home ill be nice, like when she came home from aunt cindys, she had a paper bag in her hand, said hey cassie when she walked in and asked what was in the bag, ABSOLUTLY NO ATTITUDE IN MY VOICE and she goes "food and not for you fuck off" the hell, she comes home and within 30 seconds were fighting

ANYWAYS all in all
i hate cassie and wish she would move out

I'll keep you my dirty little secret

well yesterday went so slow, well until it got towards the end of the day, anyways, i woke up around 8 bleh and watched tv and walked around until the phone rang, caller id said it was my grampa so i let mom pick it up and i walked back to my room, later mom walks in and tells me that we need to clean the house, some familys coming over, meaning grandma and and my moms aunt and uncle, she said i met them all before but the only one i can remember meeting was grandma, so we cleaned the house, i did so lazily, and everytime id go outside id end up playing with batman, the company came and such, and i tried to stay downstairs, mom made me emurge, finally... and told me to bring minky if i could find him, well i found him under the chair one of the guests was sitting in, with muffin on her lap trying to get into water she had, i said my hellos and went back downstairs until i was sure they had left, got some food and went back downstairs, justin came over and after awhile i got too bored to contain it and called trevor, awsomely enough he had just gotten home, after awhile he had to get off the phone and i went upstairs, justin also being bored drove me to the the mall to see the part of wall he dented when he punched it after being offered a pink cellphone, then we walked around, justin looking for tounge rings and me looking for shoelaces, at one of the toungering places justin asked if they had any megnetic ones so we could go home and freak out mom XD they didnt though, we finally made it tohottopic with many detours and jared calling, and i got some rainbow shoelaces, and then we went home, i ate some tacobell, and kyle called, got off the phone with me in less than 5 minutes and called back about an hour and a half later, we ended up talking for4 and a half more hours, inwhich time i went into the baack yard to find some random dogs, they scampered off and i skipped around the back yard for an hour or so, and kyle kept telling me to go get shoes XD after i finally did my feet stoped being so cold, but then my hands were like ice and i finally went inside, only to go to the computer, when it rolled around midnight i went to bed, and found mom still playing bejeweled XD and now today i should probably do my homework

it was a cup of good intentions...

have you ever noticed how most relationships work in highschool, and well every grade below too, where people just go through tons of girlfriends/boyfriends without a care, and when they break up its not a big deal at all, like, take daniel clark for example, hes had probably like 9 girlfriends before, and i dont think any of them have lasted over a week, and still he flirts with every girl who he thinks is hot that goes his way, he goes through all of these girls, and they dont seem to mean a thing to him afterwards, like he went out with rachel davis and now that theyre apart he hears someone named rachel and he instantly goes "rachel davis? ewww" its so stupid, and he dumps them then goes out for more, and asked out all these other girls, just to dump them too, and its not big deal, and i dont like people like this, yes i know that theyre experimenting to find what they like, but if theres someone whos looking for a long lasting relationship caught up with people like this then they get hurt and its no fair to them, infact i was one of those people, technically im in my 5th relationship, two of those relationsships i was dumped within a week and heart broken, especially when one of them broke up with me for my best friend, and the other broke up with me for my best friend AND on my birthday, nice way of saying "happy birthday" isnt it? although i guess the internet wasnt the best place to look for a lasting relationship eh? the other two, well one was obsessive and always on the verge of commiting susicide, another, sweet as could be and still my friend, but the whole internet thing was tearing me apart, now i am in a lasting relationship (least i hope so, everyday im paranoid hell find someone better) and its technically my first ACTUAL boyfriend, which makes me really new to all this stuff, but im getting side tracked, my point is that people need to be more... careful before just playing with peoples emotions and making someone just "the flavor of the week" if you know what i mean

EEEEEE!

WHOOOOO! i finally talked to garret ^_^ that totally made my day, and im glad someone actually picked up this time e_e; but at first it was all... awkward like.. then we started talking about school and how much GM sucks and how lakewood is so much better, and football, hes a jock o_o; when i knew him he had glasses and was a geek along with me, hes got contacts now, he said they cost like 600 because of his sucky eyesight, which i believe XD he had really thick glasses when we were younger, i was surprized to hear his voice, and that he acturally vaugly remembers me, we started even talking about video games, DDR, music, how he plans on tomenting his kids and furture wife by waking them up in the middle of the night and going "tag your it" then running away and not letting them go to bed until the tagged him back, and... it was just really good to talk to him, i asked him if he had talked to mary or ivy in awhile, to both he said no, and i told him marys going to GM with me and that i hadnt talked to ivy either, and i asked if he knew if she moved, he had no idea, and i told him that i had tried calling her number from the glennon directory and that it had been disconnected, i think imm call him tomorrow or something ^_^
well cassies gonna be home soon sooo bai ^_^

stick a fork in me, im so done

well not much new with me -.- still in my "bleh dont wanna do anything" type mood, hmm...which is why this os going to be really shor, i have one thing to say though, FREAKING HELL IM GETTING TICKED OFF AT PEOPLE! ONLY FREAKING PEOPLE THAT EVEN TRY TO TALK TO ME ANYMORE IS FUJI AND TREVOR! EVERYONEELSE IGNORES THE HELL OUT OF ME! OKIE I GET IT IM HATED IM JUST GOING TO LEAVE EVERYONE THE HELL ALONE OKAY!?