oh look something shiney

so i feel drained, absolutly and totally drained, more so than ive ever felt before, i dont feel enthused about much, i had a shorter attention than i ever have had, im easily discouraged, i yawn about 20 times per class, i have no idea how i am, i dont remember how it is to feel happy, sad, disappointed, anything... i just... dont feel anything, its kinda scary...

i feel like screaming...

okie... SO! my day was just fine until 3rd period in am gov. either levi or sheldon shot something at me...im sick of them... science wasnt much better... am i really a perfectionist? ...lunch was fun... math sucked.. french... well i won go fish by mass folding... i won all the chips whooo... and i only had three pizzas... photography... um... *shrug* ... ah hell im just not in the mood for anything right now, mary is going back to michigan tomorrow morning... and i barely hung out with her at all... fuck

Ah hell, who really cares anymore?

so last night, i was messing around with some of cassies scrapbooking stuff and she has this really cool pen like exacto-knife, so after about fifteen minutes of clicking the stupid thing, i got stupid, and me being my accident prone self, now has a small cut on my finger which hurts like hell, plus the thing bled for like a half hour... stoppped then bled again for fifteen minutes e_e and people expect me not to get bored and find a more useful way to use this? other than you know me also being stupid and licking up the blood, seriously
so the people i dont want to worry, worry too much and the ones that i want to worry dont give a damn
i hurt the ones i love
all in all im a horrible person, dont argue
i really am, i have slight violent tendencies, and end up with someone in pain
HOW CAN ALL YOU PEOPLE CALL MY NICE!
how can you all call me a good friend? awsome? any of that and more
how am i so pure when i hurt the ones i love
EMO ang is back again, and it may take more than hugs to get her calm again

ANOTHER THING! i am SICK and TIRED of all these people i know HATING atleast one other of my friends, i dont find it nice you want to keep me away from the bad in people cause GUESS WHAT! we all have scratches in our slates we call a soul, I CAN CHOOSE MY OWN FRIENDS im sick of all of you bad mouthing my other friends when im RIGHT THERE i dont care if you talk about ME behind my back i dont care if you abandon me and leave me for dead in this world of heartless losers, I DONT CARE WHAT YOU DO TO ME LEAVE MY FRIENDS THE HELL ALONE! im tired of all this gossip and "omg i hate her" SUCK IT UP! if your freakin complaining now how the HELL are you going to life in the real world when you HAVE to smile and grin to those you loathe, SUCK. IT. UP. "ohnoes im stuck in a room with people i hateeee" MAKE THE BEST OF IT! do you even really know those people!? have you ever TRIED to get to know them? seriously people, atleast TRY to get to know people, hell most of the people who read this dont even know me, including my friends i see everyday

well im going to go before my head explodes and i start singing the "give me a hug" song i learned from jared

PICTURES! ^____^

So! some of you *coughtrevorcough* think tht i dont look anything like i did when i was little... WELL lets just see if we can kinda get a transitionKAY!

i was like... i dont think... but seriously, this is like the earliest baby picture of me ANYWHERE in this house, the camera broke when i was all small and cute, cassie says because i was so ugly e_e

mind you that spot is ON the picture, ive tried getting it off... its like impossible

thats my moms favorite picture of me, dad took it, i likemy eyes ^_^

can you believe it? i wore dresses, that by the way is my first day of preschool

school picture... for i think... kindergarden or something

thats me and cassie in the "newly" made tree house, it used to be in the backyard, along with a pool, until mom and dad thought the tree house was too dangerous, and some pennies got into the pool filter

me at aunt cindys house, before she added on to it, i was in her backyard with foster, this was around first or second grade, when i got my hair chopped off because kids wouldnt stop tugging on it

mary and i, mary left, me right, we were at her aunts appartments, and i am wearing shorts mind you e_e this was around third grade

as so third grade

fourth grade school picture (i miss that necklace T_T)

fifth grade science fair... or maybe fourth... i dont remember, me and julie camper used to be really good friends and we did a project together

sixth grade... goin' to outdoor lab, and i had my hair permed e_e oh gosh i hated it and did whatever i could to get it to get straighter, sadly enough im carrying a laptop bag, scarf, hat and gloves, walking with caitlins mom and leah smith, hah... good times, i got sick half way through outdoorlab, i kept falling because i had oil resistant boots... and those just help me slide on ice, i had to take showers in the mornings because my last name is by the end of the alphebet, and all of you knowing me... im not a morning person, id sit on the cabin floor for like twenty minutes then realize i had to get ready, the water was so cold i just left the shampoo in my hair, but yup... it was fun...

summer trip... sometime... i dont remember, we went to colorado springs ^____^ i think it wassss... summer after 7th grade

me and lana... so sometime in eighth

me before i cut my hair!

annnnd... after XD

SO UPTODATE! whooooo!

51

you know what? today SUCKED! it totally sucked to no end
morning didnt start out to bad, i forgot my skillsbook though, second went fine, third was okay, had some laughs with erin, now fourth, thats where everything just totally screwed up my day, this girl just.... errrr.... I HATE SHALLOW PEOPLE OH GOSH! bleh e_e how the HELL can someone be so heartless to cheat on someone with four other people!? seriously e_e if that happened to me i would probably kill myself, i mean seriously, nothing like being told youre not as good as not only one person but 5! gosh, how do people deal with that guilt!? so i started talking to this girl, and i start saying "my gosh thats pathetic" and she starts asking what and i just go off on her "you dont even get to know these people! and you just go out with them because theyre "cute"?! they probably dont even know what the hell your name is!" i was pissed off well into lunch, inwhich i yelled at some people and ashley wouldnt even let me get to lunch until i told her what was wrong, then i didnt even get to eat lunch because i forgot about my math homework, plus i kept snapping at people who wanted to help, i dont get what the hell ms davis is teaching me, i wish i had mr anderson as a teacher again, least i understood what he taught me.. after lunch i couldnt stop shaking during math, plus she doesnt give us enough time for out tests, i mean in mr anddersons class i used to be one of the first ones done, now im lucky if i finish before the bell rings, french we had a test, and in photography i was getting back to hyper and stuff, we had a sub no big deal, well until she told her name...ms mary-ann blayly... oh gosh, as soon as i heard that name i suddenly couldnt breathe.. i went through most of photography constantly looking over my shoulder.. flashbacks from kindergarden came back *shutter* when i got home, justin was over but hes sick...

hear the voices in my head, i swear to god it sounds liek theyre snoring

SO! its day... what 49? yea thats sounds right, not much new has happened really
one i may be joining pride WHOO DRUG FREE ANGIE cause we all love a drug free angie
two i am SO trying to turn in all my homework this semester, and i got an... "GOOD EFFORT" for math last semester... so they took my picture? i told mom i had to go to access this morning and she glared at me and was like "what for!? ARE YOU BEHIND AGAIN!" i explained it to her, and showed her the sheet and this morning she did the same thing when she woke me up and reminded me i had to go to access, i think shes going nuts, or she just really wants to yell at me and just hasnt found anything to yell at me for
three- oh gosh i went to red rocks yesterday to take pictures of "landscape" and you know what!? THEY DIDNT TURN OUT! T________T someone exposed them in the bulk loader before i got to them (bulk loader= thing with a bunch of film, you put a camester inside, and put film from the bulk loader to the canester... MAGIC!)
four- when i went out around the school to get some pictures of trees, there was some guy outside of mr andersons room just lurking there with a camera at the door, he didnt move until mr anderson came out of the room
five- god i suck at checkers... especially shot glass checkers... least i got coke!
six- ever since lily was singing flagpole sitta at lunch i cant get it out of my head... in fact in listening to it right now
seven-I CAN COUNT UP TO SEVEN!
eight- lily randomly came up to me in the hall today and said "omg angie i love your corset and your shirt" i told her it was connected and she said she wished she had breats as big as mine e_e, i wish i could give them to her
nine- ...why do i have to have a cat obsessed with apples?
ten- finally (mostly because i cant think of much to say) ghandi and lincoln and jane goodall should have had kids, just so i could see what they looked like *shakes fist at them for them not all living in the same era*

*self reminder*

mettre, prendre, pouvoir, vouloir, devoir, venir, avoir, etre, faire, and aller

"Until I met you, I never knew what it was like... to look at someone and smile for no reason"

i like that quote...

ANYWAYS highlights!

... NOHIGHLIGHTS WHOOO!

SO ive got a question for all you peoples that read this

qui suis-je?

AKA

WHO AM I! you answer ^_^

...ah hell, not again

have you ever been really down, then got really happy, then progressivly got back to where you started? wellll can you guess how i am? pretty damn suckdidallyucktastic, so how are you all?

*emo emo emo emo* Day 41

i hate school
i didnt even get to see trevor
freakin hell
i hate my classes
if people wouldnt have noticed i would have cried all day
all i wanted was to see him
ONCE
atleast a hug...
FUCK
im crying again e_e
i hate this

Well there goes my freedom (day 40)

yup, thats right... school is back in
got to school and barely got to see trevor before i was off to find my classes, first period i have english, and many people came in for study hall because study hall a is now ms millages room, second i had study hall c, fujis in my class, but shes on the TOTAL oppisite side of the room from me e_e i like ms hilgers though, we played apples to apples and my team won, third i have american government, we did bingo and things, people seemed to flock to me when i got there... well kinda, ben sat near me and people followed him, then down to science, i made a new friend i guess, she sits across from me, her nams is adi, shes pretty nice, after that lunch, i dont think i said more than 5 words the whole time, then off to math, with phillip, too bad i dont sit by him, after that i had french, atleast i had some fun in there, i was lanas parner, and i asked how many nights she had XDXD after that i had photography, with only 8 kids in the class o_o;
bad news: jessica nicole is in like... 4 of my classes e_e let the teasing begin
even worse news: i feel horrible, i felt like i blew trevor off today, but i dont know... i got used to not seeing him, and seeing him today was just little bit too overwelming, especially when i realized how little im going to see him this semiter, especially with him still grounded

let antisocial angie be let loose -.-

Day 37... noooo 38

KAY! so yesterday, possibly the best day out of those whole break, so imma spill my guts about it ^________^
the night before last amber spent the night at my house, so yesterday morning we woke up, and watched some tv, then put new songs on her mp3 player, then after that we brought her home, and cassie and i went to biglots, we got forty dollars worth of scrapbooking stuff, and everything was only a dollar e_e, i had to hold it all, and some dale earnhart jr paper pad was really starting to hurt my chest e_e so then we went home and it was around... 2:30 we pealed the price tags off of all the scrapbooking stuff, put all the price tags on me, then put half of the stuff in a basket, put a bow on a stone mom made and we went to ashleys house (ashley cassies friend ashley)and watched justin get his hair cut, after a couple hours cassie and i went home, ate dinner, found a death in our family (either jack or sally died, for those of you that dont know, thats my hamsters names, so one of them died, we put the other one in a cage with some of the other hamsters, so either its a guy pimping it out, or a girl in the right cage) after we finished eatting we drove into downtown denver in search of elitches, but my mom is always one to get lost and i regreted calling shotgun before we left, mom gets very ticked off when shes lost, well anyways we got there, then shannon cassie and i walked to the light rail, took that to the shuttle bus station, missed the shuttle busses though, so we walked to ...denvers performing arts place thing? and on the way there there was horse sounds under the grates XD but one of them sounded like pigs... and my mom is convinced theres pigs living under denver, and when mad pig disease breaks out were doomed o_Oanyways we got there just in time for the showing of little shop of horrors too ^_^and that was soooooo awsome*loved* after that we walked a couple blocks and rode the shuttle bus back to the light rail, when we first got on it it was packed, and by the time we got to the light rail only two other people besides us and the driver were on there, and before all those people got off i was standing next to a girl that was singing ^_^ she sang really well, it was kinda hard to hear her though with all of noise of the other people, when we got to the lightrail we rode that back to elitches, and had some really... odd conversations, when we got back to elitches, shannon cleaned out the back of his car so i could sit, and we went inside and got some soda ^_^ shannon said that sme people that try to get that discount with the cokes and all of that, bring them in full XD we got some candy, and got to see shannons office, and his sucktacular computer, which he says takes five minuts to boot and five minutes to shut down, otherwise he would have showed us how loud it was, after that we went and got into the car, but my seatbelt wouldnt work, so he said wed fix it before we left, then he drove us around elitches and showed us all the dismantaled rides, and theyre getting a new ride, i asked what it was and he said it was like a ride they used to have, with all of the cards and stuff... hard to explain, but i remember it, and its taking place of the choas, which really sucks cause that was one of my favorite rides, we got to see the dismantaled flying coaster carts, the boats from ship wreak falls, the ballons from one of the kiddie rides, the tower of doom carts off, the half pipe and the rainbow, the thunderbolt and the cars and some of the track to twister 2, it was awsome, ive never been in that park when it was that empty, it was kinda weird... and ive never been in the park in a car XD cassies attempted to get pictures withher phone but all were failed attempts, after that we were by the back of the park and shannon changed his oil, then we drove off to find some food, we got to perkins and we ate and talked and all that good stuff, then shannon drove cassie and i home, when we got home it was midnight, i wrote a journal on dA until 12:30, then went to my room to watch futurama, but i forgot it wasnt on on friday nights T_T so instead i watched some other tv shows cause i was a bit hyper from my soda, and i wrote more of a note to trevor... i finally went to sleep had some weird dreams and i ended up waking up around 4 which was like 2 hours after i went to sleep, and i went to the bathroom and just sat on the floor because i felt like i was oging to throw up, i looked out into the dining room and then at the wallpaper in the bathroom then minky scared the hell out of me because suddenly he was right next to me meowed at me, i woke mom up and she gave me a bowl incase i threw up, and by then i was afriad to lay down because everytime i did my stomach felt worse, i started crying and finally fell asleep, i slept in until like... 11:50 now here i am...2:13 pm e_e and still in my pjs... i really should do something today... schools almost back in T_T

Day 32

happy new years

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN WE GET BACK FROM OUR FREAKIN BREAK!? im so confused T_____T

anyways, some odd days ago i went to the mall with amber... it was the 27th, i know that because it was my parents anniverary

HAPPY FREAKIN ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD

although, they dont read my blogs, for good reasons too so they will never find this *shrug* its the thought that counts
after the mall inwhich i bought a corset shirt thing ^_^ amber says i look hot in it, but its hard to get in and out of e_e seriously it is, i spent the night at ambers house and my parents went to the moose hill cantina, we went to james house and hung out there, then went back to ambers, we watched a movie and finally went to bed around 2am, and woke up the next morning to my phone vibrating from text messages, we went to my house got music onto ambers bean, went back to ambers and hung out with james and minkia until around 3:30 or something, then amber and i went with james and monika went home, after we drove around and did some stuff we went back to james house and i borrowed his balls XD ANYWAYS mom picked me up from ambers around 6 i went home and ate spaggetti for the second night in a row, and went to bed at midnight, next morning or the one after that... i dont know, i think i missed a day or something mom woke me up, i got ready, i apparently missed a poser blizard, we went to trevors house, i dropped off gifts and ran to the car and we drove up the mountain to my aunts house, we being me my mom and cassie, i stayed two nights up there, one inwhich roster and emmerson (my aunts dog and cat) slept with me, around 12 or something i went home from my aunts on the third day, oh and at my aunts house i got some lily gifts for a belated christmas present, and a ring for a super early birthday present, so anyways i went home, loitered, finnally got ready, took a shower and all that good stuff, justin came over helped me pack up the xbox and he drove me to missys house for a newyears party, and we got lost, and i was still like 15 minutes early, so we munched on snacks and waited for beefcake, aka fuji, fuji came and we munched some more, played DDR for about an hour, then played sims 2 for 5 hours, then around 10 fujis dad came to pick her up, and she used some of the party poppers thing,then after that was over we looked for missys cat, watched the ball drop, then missy and i watched monty python and the quest for the holy grail, for my first time ever seeing it,then we watched the ball drop for a second time, went wild with party poppers and noise makers... and 30 party poppers in all were shot by JUST me missy and fuji that night, then we watched some anime, aka cor...something highschool, then we went to sleep, it took me about an hour to find a confortable position on the chair, in the morning we ate "eggnog frenchtoast" i was kinda reluctant to eat it because i dont like eggnog at all, but it was pretty good, soggy though XD then missy and i played sims until 1 where missys dad took me home, and here i am now whooooo!