The answer to everything!... Doesn't work at all.

Misa came up with the perfect solution to everything. When Kelsey and Gareth break up, she goes out with Gareth. And Ariel goes out with Steven. This was suppose to solve the problem of Bryan. By problem, I mean that Ariel doesn't want to date Bryan excep to make him happy and tends to keep leading him on only to show no interest in him later. And Ariel was actually consitering it last night. Well wait. Let's rewind. I was on the phone three way with Misa and Steven last night and we talked about him having a crush on Ariel, Misa thought, GREAT IDEA. And we made him hang up so we could call Ariel and talk about it. We end up talking to Ariel and she says she wishes Bryan would just pay attention to me. Apparently the whole staying friends and I act like I-don't-have-feelings-for-him is working pretty well. Aside from the making out, giving eachother hickeys, bitting ears and such... Shut up. He's the one that starts it. But I don't follow him around anymore, I don't text him everytime I'm bored, and I don't call him. But Ariel and Misa know I still love him, but I know he won't return the feelings. And he's stuck on Ariel and it's apparent. Ariel feels bad about it and tries to get him to pay more attention to me, but the only time he does pay attention to me is when Ariel isn't around. And Ariel doesn't want to date him, and she doesn't want to date Steven anymore, but she wants Cory. Cory who she didn't want to date just last week. She's just about indecisive as Kelsey, but atleast she doesn't jump into relationships as much as Kelsey. They hoped if Ariel dated Steven, and Misa dated Gareth, Bryan would move to one of his last resorts. Me. And Kelsey would be rejected from our group, why? Because all the drama is mostly consentrated around her. But since Ariel doesn't want to date Steven, and Bryan spread rumors about Misa trying to sabotage Kelsey and Gareth's relationship (As if it needed sabotaging) nothing's going to turn out right. And I'm okay with it because the only link I have to it is my love of Bryan. So whatever works you know.

Long post that will basicly hold little information.

Last night... I got my first hickey? ._. The one I left on him was much worse though..

Bryan says that this song reminds him of me:
Crazy Mary is a slow girl who looks up to no one.
Would do anything for a cold one.
Wishes she could find her way home.
Got the look on her face and her stare's like ray gun.
We walked by everyday
and I wish there was something I could do for her.

Maybe if I took a little time to talk then she'd heal a little if she wants to.
She can run but let's teach her how to walk away now.
I'll shake a little if she wants to she'll laugh a little if she needs to.
There's a key to the door that she's hiding behind.

She watches the world pass her by like a freight train.
They all call her the same name.
Laughin' as they point and stare at her.
So she crys out to God up in Heaven,
been prayin since she was 11.
For Him to send someone to meet her there.

Maybe if I took a little time to talk then she'd heal a little if she wants to.
She can run but let's teach her how to walk away now.
I'll shake a little if she wants to she'll laugh a little if she needs to.
There's a key to the door that she's hiding behind.

And no one knows all the thoughts, all the dreams,
and the ideas she's got and contains inside.
She's broken apart
and her heart is still lookin for somewhere to feel alright.
And no one knows all the thoughts, and the dreams,
and ideas she's got and contains inside. (so she can find her way home)
She's so broken apart
and her heart is still lookin for somewhere to feel alright. (she needs somewhere to find)
alright, feel alright, alright.

Maybe if I took a little time to talk then she'd heal a little if she wants to.
She can run but let's teach her how to walk away now.
I'll shake a little if she wants to she'll laugh a little if she needs to.
There's a key to the door that she's hiding behind.


And that if you want to listen to it.

I found my old friend Demon. Kyle got freaking mad at me.

Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
KYLEKYLEKYLEKYLE
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
Remember Demon?
Martha Divine says:
yea i do
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
I found her!
Martha Divine says:
thats cool
Martha Divine says:
thats cool
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
...
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
Am I the only one really happy about this?
Martha Divine says:
i dunno, sorry i am happy you found her and all just its been a long time since the whole neopets thing
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
-.-
Martha Divine says:
what?
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
Nevermind/
Martha Divine says:
w.e
Martha Divine says:
look i said i was happy for you, but its not one of those situations where i jump up and down for joy ok?
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
Obviously.
Martha Divine says:
i dont see why lately everyone seems to think i have to be so fuckin slap happy all the damn time
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
Well excuse me for thinking you might be happy to talk to her to, but nevermind. God.
Martha Divine says:
well if she wants to talk to me then thats great i'll talk to her but its not like i'd know exactly what to say
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
K, whatever.
Martha Divine says:
whatever
Martha Divine says:
i really dont give a shit anymore really if your going to get an attitude with me like everyone else has the fuck this i'm not going to stick around
Martha Divine says:
then*
Martha Divine says:
i mean jesus fucking christ you all have been acting like you've got stick up your ass about something and no one ever tells me why
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
You're the one acting liek they have a stick up their ass Mr. Pessimistic.
Martha Divine says:
maybe the reason why i'm acting that way is because almost everyone i know is mad about something and i havnt even been able to laugh at anything for the past week and a half
Martha Divine says:
maybe thats why im pissed
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
I WAS FUCKING HAPPY. You brought my mood down.
Martha Divine says:
ditto
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
Well fine then.
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
Fuck you.
Martha Divine says:
no thanx
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
God Kyle, you're such a fucking jackass.
Martha Divine says:
i know, comes with my personality...
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
Didn't used to.
Martha Divine says:
as far as you remember
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
Well you never used to be so jackassish to me.
Martha Divine says:
maybe thats because you never gave me a reason to before
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
Fine.
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
Whatever.
Let me feel the vibrations of your melancholy heart. - Goodbye Sanity says:
I'm done.
Martha Divine says:
it doesnt matter anymore everyone keeps pushing and pushing me away anyhow. why should you be any different
Martha Divine says:
im miserable alone but if it means not getting bitched at then maybe its better for me to be alone
Martha Divine says:
i fuckin hate fighting but you and the whole entire population thats living here keep fucking provoking me!
Martha Divine says:
all i ever hear anymore from people is "kyle go to hell!" well you know what? fuck you! you all should be the ones in hell for making me feel like shit for some long! you all can go to hell because god knows i fucking dont deserve it!!
Martha Divine says:
Ugh! FUCK!! im sorry i was being a jackass...im just extreamly pissed off at the moment and...mostly i was ranting about OTHER people that have been making me mad. the only reason im apologizing is because i dont want to lose you as a friend. we've been through to much to let this little argument discard all that...just call me if you want or not it's your choice i just havnt been able to-
Martha Divine says:
-vent to anyone at all and i guess talking to you now built up to much stress and i exploded...
Martha Divine says:
if your still there at least answer me with something...

I never replied. I have nothing to reply with. I don't like fighting with him but it happens all the time now.
I feel horrible and I keep crying.

If we get one pregnant, and one in a coma we've got ourselves a Soap.

So. Lots of drama lately.
Laura dumped Sasha. Yesterday I spent about 10-15 minutes in the bathroom colsoleing her.
Kelsey is going out wither Gareth, we all have an agreement that it probably won't last more than a week. And it'll probably end up with Kelsey dumping him for another guy.
Ariel says she wants to maintain a friendship with Bryan but he's making it hard with him saying he still loves her. Bryan says he's not as stuck on her as she thinks.
One of my friends went to the hospital again. And his parents are trying to get rid of him.
Misa and Steven broke up.
Ben's having some self esteem issues I can't really help with because I have the same problems.
Everyone's pretty against Kelsey right now.
Marty was in a depressed state until today. He says that he's now over Kelsey.
Marty tells me that he has a crush on me. And has had a crush on me ever since he layed on me in the Bagel Corner. I don't even remember such occurance, but he does. He said the only thing he knows of lately is he's over Kelsey and he likes me. My parents thought he had a crush on me, but I didn't believe them consitering he told me he didn't. "i did before kelsey alot and sometimes i wanted you while me and kelsey were dating and now. hence the get mad at bryan because angie deserves better" Which explains why he got so mad when Bryan hurt me. And now Marty knows I like him too, and that's why I kept getting mad at Kelsey for breaking up with him. But apparently everytime they broke up Kelsey said something like "Well atleast Angie still likes you" Thank you Kelsey for saying you'd keep that a secret. I don't know what to think anymore. Marty says he's not going to date for awhile. I don't blame him, Kelsey hurt him pretty bad.

This is all just... Weird.

Happy Singles Awareness Day

In case you didn't catch it, I'm one of those singles.
So I had this master plan to stalk out all my friends lockers and give them valentines. Problem: I only know exactly where Jacqi, Jesus, and Bryan's lockers are. So I printed out tons of Love quotes and put them in really random lockers. I found most of them on the ground before school was over. Oh well, I tried to spread random cheer. Nothing really happened in first or third period. Fifth period though. I got a Val-o-gram, from the one and only, Bryan. I was the only one in the class to get a Val-o-gram, afterwards Lana hugged me and I told her I was going to kick Bryan. Rest of french was pretty uneventful. Lunch, I was recruited to walk to tacobell with Marty, Kelsey, Ariel and Bryan. Marty bought us tacos and Bryan bought his own stuff, and was off in his own world for the entire lunch. We walked back to School and seventh had already started..

Continue later.

Anyways. Bryan was far ahead of me when I had walked through the doors so I lost him quickly, Ariel dashed to class, and Marty walked with Kelsey. I spotted Kara and went over to hug her, just thn she's glomped by Speedy, then she quickly walks away with Allison. I followed them and we had some Speedy verbal bashing in one of the Cubbys, I wandered off and found some more people. More walking and stuff. Sasha wasn't happy because her girlfriend didn't want to hang out with her during V-day. Odd right? I kept her company in the cubby of despair until Speedy came. I punched him for calling Kelsey a whore. I went back into the commons and hung out until class ended, and I found the people who were coming home with me. Aka Ariel, Sam, and

It doesn't hurt, it feels fine.

So. Oodles of drama today. Almost all of it during 7th too. So let me retell adventures of 7th period. So it began with Allison crying. Over Victor, aka Speedy. Well because apparently they're dating and Speedy's been kissing on Kara's arms and such. So Bryan, Charlie, Marty, Matt, Lana, Sasha, Kelsey, and I are all huddled around Allison trying to cheer her up. Funny part is most of us had seventh off. Anyways, we get her feeling better. David and Speedy come along. Kara and Allison walk off. Then while Lana, Bryan, Marty and I are hanging out in the commons, Kelsey comes up and says she needs to talk to me about stuff. Obviously about Bryan stuff. Before she said anything she made me promise not to hurt myself in any way, shape or form. I promised, then she told me Bryan was cutting. Cutting after he promised me he wouldn't. After promising me he'd call me before thinking about doing that. Promising me he'd find some other healthy way to vent. He cuts. I stood there for a minute. All I said was "Why?" then after a couple more moments I couldn't hold it in. I started crying. All I could really think of was the conversation I had only moments ago with Lana. Saying that I was mostly emotional because my friends have so much drama, and they're always depressed. I was fine only moments ago. Kelsey held me for awhile then offered to go for a walk. The walk ended in the commons where Bryan was. I cried harder and cling to Kelsey. Everyone around was asking if I was okay. Voices I didn't even reconize. Security guards every few minutes would suggest I go to the counsling office. I shook my head no, and Kelsey tried to reason with Fred and Venessa, telling them sometimes all someone needs is their friends. After a coupld minutes my head got kinda woozy and I fell to my knees. Fred started yelling at us to go to a table and such. Kelsey goes back to TAing for the counsiling office. Then one of the administration finally drags me off to the counsiling office, they told Bryan he could come too since he was the one holding me. He held me on the walk there, and squeezed me everytime I told them I didn't want to talk. He knew perfectly well what I didn't want to talk about and why I was upset. We get down there, they keep telling me to spell my last name. Bryan and I sit next to Kelsey. The lady who I don't know keeps telling me to talk, talk to a peer counsilor, talk to Bryan, talk to the vice pricipal since apparently no one else was avaliable. She told me that if we didn't start feeling better we'd have to talk to the vice principal. After she repeats that a couple times because she obviously didn't see my head nod she leaves. Bryan leans closer, as hes still holding me and says "Time for acting." and I knew exactly what he meant. He knew I didn't want to be there, I know he didn't want to be there either. Within seconds we were both laughing over tanning goggles and in ten minutes we decided to leave for the commons. But the acting didn't stop there. We went into the commons with Kelsey laughing and acting fine. Everyone gave me hugs. And David demanded to know what was going on, I told him what I told everyone else. I don't want to talk about it. David shook me, "But you have to talk to someone! You'll explode! You have to talk to someone." and I told him I didn't doubt that it'd come out eventually. He took this as a hint that I'd tell him. I cleared that up. He askd if I'd tell him later. Tomorrow. Friday? The weekend? Nope, Maybe. I don't know. David dear, I don't have any way of communicating with you outside of school. He later gave me his number, and told me to call him. Lana spoke to me in french and I had to have her translate. I told her I'd probably tell her what was going on with me later. When I got home I was texting Bryan demaning explination and such. After awhile I couldn't handle talking to him anymore and I called Kyle. Suprizingly he answered. We both vented to eachother about current drama, then I had to go because Cassie was home. I vented to a lot of people online. And I was going to tell Lana, but she's not online and she's at her mom's house. The house of which I don't know the number off and the house in IDLEDALE. The IDLEDALE which gives no phone service. EVER.
I feel guilty about Bryan's cutting. I felt that I should have been there for him. I should have been able to help. It hurts he was hiding it from me. It hurts that he felt he couldn't talk to me about something. I plan on telling him the jist of that the next time we can have a long talk, which might just be tomorrow before school.

On the upside. I have awsome friends and random people who care about me. And I mean tons. There was like a circle of people around me when I looked up when Kelsey went back to TAing.
Another up. I get my hair dyed tomorrow. Whooo.

Gosh. Boys suck.

SO I was way too enthusiastic about having a boyfriend. Because I'm pretty sure I'm without now. Rumors say he can't get past just seeing me as like a sister. This happens to me a lot. What the hell makes me so sisterly? Erg. So I was pretty depressed all day. And my hiding it went horribly wrong. I have no idea where Bryan and I stand right now. He's still lingering on the hope he will be able to date Ariel or Kelsey. I'm lingering on the hope that he'll love me and I'll make him happy. Kelsey says I should probably drop all hope of that. But, honestly, I've tried. It's hard though. He's the closest thing I have to a best friend. No one else is around nearly as much. If I stop talking to him then I'm practically alone again. If I keep talking to him it hurts because I know I care about him so much. It's hard, but I think what's going to end up happening is we're going to be like "Yup, we're better off as friends." I'll hide all feelings of more-than-friendness from him. He'll get a girlfriend or something, I'll cry. I'll act fine, and everything will be dandy because we'l just be friends. Two flaws in that though. I'll constantly be hurting. And he's fucking good at knowing when I'm upset. I could disappear. Major flaws with that plan. I love people too much. Namely, my friends. All of them. If I disappeared it wouldn't last long because I'd be too lonely. I don't know. Maybe I should just end al of his confusion myself, because it's going to start hurting him too. I'm not sure I can really get anymore hurt right now.

Gimme my ring back you whore!

Those words never actually left my mouth in one sentence. But more of "You whore! Wait... Where's my ring? Give it back!" And those words were said to Bryan. Sadly he still has my ring. Why I'm babbling on about a ring? I don't know either. But guess what guys! I'm ungrounded! Hopefully I can stay like that. I missed my friends terribly. Seriously. I checked my grades on Friday and the grades I had to get up were up. But I had a D in AM history. I knew this was absolutly wrong and e-mailed my teacher. He didn't email me back that entire day. I cried. I literally cried because I was so close to seeing my friends again but an incorrect grade was in my way. Mom called me on my cell phone as I was crying in my room. She decided to give me 3 hours with friends. I did dishes the next day for my dad and he haggled my mom for another hour. I spent those four hours with Bryan, Misa, Steven, and Kelsey. But things are all well now. I'm ungrounded stuffs and happy. And I mean superly happy. Why? Well ungrounded is part of it. The other part? Bryan asked me out. Kinda oddly too. We were just talking on the phone and out of no where he asked what I'd do if he asked me out. I didn't really think much of it because Bryan asks random questions like that all the time with no intention at all. I replied that I'd ask him why. He explained that maybe he just wanted to go out with me. And I said "Well, I guess I'd say yes." A couple minutes later and he asks "Hey Angie, well you go out with me?" I actually did ask why, out of shock and such. I convinced myself he was just kidding and seeing the reaction that I'd give him. So I started laughing and said "Yea sure." Seeing my disbelief he tried to prove himself. I was still pretty skeptical until Friday at school (He asked me out Thursday night.) He kissed my cheek a lot and acted very... Lovey like. So, Angie's got a boyfriend again. And this one will probably last longer than Speedy. I hope so anyways. I feel bad jumping from guy to guy, even if I'm not really jumping too much. I don't think Speedy was too happy to learn that I'm dating Bryan. Cassie told him at work or something. She said she told Nate that I was dating Bryan. Why I came up in conversation? I have no idea. Nate barely knows me. I met him once. Maybe Cassie secretly brags about her little sister often. Hah! Yea right. Cassie has a boyfriend now too actually. His name is... Riley I think. I heven't met him, but he seems nice from what I hear. Anyways. When I get to talking to Bryan I don't even think of Speedy at all. Well there's a sign I'm not attached to him eh? Mmm... Man I'm in deep. Just thinking about Bryan makes me smile. Yay for happy Angie!