Well your legs are stupid.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Maybe we should all just take a break

so the other day i went to the park with ellie, we invited jared to come and after waiting for him for like an hour and a half ellie calls him and he says he doesnt want to get caught in the rain, FTW, i havent seen jared for like a month and a half, freaking hell, im starting to think everyone hates me for the pure lack of human interaction ive had with me so-called friends this summer, im in a pissed off/depressed mood here and im venting so STFU
another totally mest up thing, joe, hes all fucking depressed because he doesnt have a girlfriend eeeeeehhh, and im already mad at him for thinking so poorly about my friend junes appearence, yea he liked her fine until he saw what she looked like, how more fucking shallow can you get, and then today he has the NERVE to say to me "i better get undepressed soon, going out with june is starting to sound like a good idea" one more fucking remark like that and im kicking him in the balls, and most likly while hes on the ground im going to keep kicking him, no one fucking says shit like that about my friends and doesnt get their ass kicked, at the very least he could have the common sense to not say that stuff to ME
and another thing, you know whats worse than realizing youve drifted away from someone? realizing it AS its happening, knowing my luck bryson will read this too, anyways, so bryson hasnt been on much, for this reason or that, all of which is not his fault, but its fucking sad when all we have to talk about is whats been going on lately, which for me is basicly nothing BECAUSE NO ONE WILL FUCKING HANG OUT WITH ME, im almost starting to wish i could have a job just so i could be away from my family for awhile, whats one worse, i cant even hang out with bryson, and he decides he needs to take a fucking break from everything, as if i talked to him enough as it is, were growing apart and it fucking hurts because i cant do anything about it, its not like most of the other people i grow apart from, he doesnt hate me like some people do, he doesnt live around here so i cant just give him a phone call, or drop by his house
another thing, if i dont get some serious time away from my sister im going to run away, we keep getting into fights, and im always the one who stays mad, and the one whos left with the most injuries
I NEED A FUCKING BREAK FROM LIFE, its not like theres anything going on, but people seem to think its a daily event: who can make angie cry first, well you know what? you all have fucking broken my spirit, are you happy with yourselves now?

$360 for a cake!?

SO, today i was about to hang out with ellie, but mom decided we didnt have enough time, besides we went to a spagehti dinner thing at some bingo hall, which actually was the highlight of my day, so this fundraiser was for my moms friends daughters fiancé, who has cancer, but it was a fun night, when we got there i saw a kid who was in a couple of my classes at school, science and government, plus he was in the same room for CSAP one of the times, hes pretty cute too ^_^ but i told my parents there was a kid there from my school so my dad was like "well lets call him over!" of course i didnt want that to happen, mostly because i didnt think he knew my name or anything, after awhile i see him walking around and a couple of times i saw him look over at me, couple minutes later he comes over:
him: did you go to gm last year?
me: yup
him: i knew i saw you from somewhere!
me: haha yup, so whats up?
then some more small talk and junk, then he left, like ten minutes later he comes back and hands me a piece of paper, and tells me if i ever get bored to call him, then my mom and dad were like "wow hes brave, hitting on you infront of your parents" and "well i guess he knows your name" and other teasing things, and i couldnt stop smiling X3 then we bid on cakes and stuff and mom was like "well where did your little friend go" and stuff like that, i was like wow, i got a guys number, and it was right around the time i was thinking "damn i should have given him my number" XD WOW SO
we bet on cakes, and desserty treats, raised over 1000 on those alone, plus the 20 bucks for every plate of dinner people had
SO YAY
i feel happy, last night i felt crappy and wanted to kill myself but im good now =D

Where the fuck is Waldo?

DarkMiceOfDoom: you try finding a non stoner in my school
DarkMiceOfDoom: its like wheres waldo
r o t h a k s a: lol
r o t h a k s a: i like that game
r o t h a k s a: everyone looks the same
r o t h a k s a: and tehn ITS WALDO!!!!!!!!
r o t h a k s a: hahahaha
DarkMiceOfDoom: then you go off to show someone and you loose him again
r o t h a k s a: i know right!
r o t h a k s a: hahaha
r o t h a k s a: im like MOM LOOOK!
DarkMiceOfDoom: "damnit i swear the fucker moved... he was right there"
r o t h a k s a: ...goddamnit mom look what you amde me do
DarkMiceOfDoom: haha

Who would ever think Angie would get a girlfriend?

okay so yesterday i went to the mall with amber and kelsey, we walked around alot, got a soda, listened to music and made eachother try on skimpy clothes, kelsea ended up in a blue holter top and a blue and white skirt which you could see her underwear through XD, amber in a short black skirt and a black see through corset, and me with a red and black corset and a red skirt which i was so paranoid wearing because it was so short, we started asking people what theyd do for a klondike bar, one guy said hed kill someone, the rest said i dont know except for one guy who said "what would you do to SUCK MY COCK" then amber went off to cuss him out as they drove off, i ended up staying the night at ambers, we went across the street to get some weed, and they didnt have any which pissed off amber and we walked down to the king soopers so amber could have some cigarettes, i figured itd be okay since i thought my sister had gotten off work by then, i was wrong, we sat by the doors and like within 10 minutes my sister walks out the door and amber and i are freaking ut as kelseys wondering why the hell were running inside the kingsoopers, luckyly she didnt look back when she left and we werent caught, we layed in the grass at some building behind the kingsoopers, amber used me as a pillow and we talked about guys, i talked about kyle and how he almost drove me to kill myself, amber got depressed, and demanded as to why i hadnt called her when i was that depressed, she said she would have killed herself after me, and she said that now everyday at 2:30 shes going to call me and make sure im alive, i dont think shell keep up with it but it still made me smile, we talked about how guys suck and only screw us over, then i told her that i had been thinking of asking out some of my friends that are girls, and i told her i had thought about asking her out, "really?" "yea" "if you asked me out i would so go out with you" "seriously?" "yea" "wanna be my girlfriend?" "seriously?" "yea!" "YEA!" "amber i love you!", so now i have a girlfriend ^_^ and then we lit bugs on fire, later we went back to get some weed at around 10:30 at night, amber had kelsey and i wait on the stairs, and later amber half heartedly tryed to get us to go inside and toke it up with the other guys, she knew i felt uncomfortable so she didnt push it, amber went back and told them we were going home after she got the weed, two of the guys ended up coming down and tried to get us to go up there with them, kelsey told me to follow her and i did, they offered us alcohol, kelsey drank some and i kept quiet, one of the guys was interested in learning about us, he asked questions like how old are you and things like that, after alittle bit kelsey went into the backroom to find amber, she left me alone and i felt like i was going to be sick, they asked if i had ever smoked before and i shook my head no, he asked if i had done anything, mushrooms or acid or any of that, i shook my head no again, then kelsey appeared in the doorway and waved me over, when i got into the room i immediatly went to kelsey and ambers side, they both seemed alot more comfortable here than me, there were joints being passed around and amber led us back out into the living room, i whispered to amber that i wasnt comfortable and i wanted to go back to her house, she nodded and told them that we should be going, i was up at the door by then, then amber and kelsey had a couple more drinks of the rum, "just one more" one of the guys looked at me and laughed "youre going to be here for another 20 minutes at this rate, come on and grab a seat", i still stayed at the door, i gave amber a look and she started to get up then sat back down and took another drink, and kelsey took another one too, then when they finally got up the guy who had been asking us questions shook our hands, and told us his name was chris, then i was out the door and kelsey and amber followed, amber apologized over and over for making me go there, and we held hands as we walked back to amber house, we devided the weed and the rest is kinda a blur, i remember laughing and kelsey trying to burn me with the pipe, and going outside and saying "oh my god look at the grass, its so fucking long, i mean... AMBER LOOK AT IT" but rest assured i didnt smoke any weed, later kelsey kept asking if i was high or not, and i kept saying i didnt know, then started laughing again, i got stoned for the first time in my life, and i didnt even smoke the weed, second hand smoke, they never thought id get that high off of it, i couldnt sleep at all that night, we watched a movie downstairs and amber went to her room half way through it, when it was over kelsey had passed out and i went up to ambers room, she smoked some more weed, and smoked some cigarettes, and we just layed on her bed and talked till about 6 am, then amber and i went downstairs, she woke up kelsey and amber went upstairs and slept in her room, i fell asleep on the couch not to long after, i got about 6 hours of sleep, and somehow a talk about feet evoled into a conversation about what happens when people die, later my mom picked me up, and took kelsey home, we got carls jr and i ate SO much, who knew a night at the mall would evolve into a night like that?
i feel so... i dont know... im missing so much of last night i dont remember much of what i did, im not sure if i feel guilty, if i feel happy, being stoned... and having no thoughts in my head... just felt SO good, ive never just had ntohing to think about, it felt so weird, i forgot all of my problems, i felt... happy, but like... i didnt feel like i was me at all, when i talked it was like i heard myself say it but i also heard an echo as if i was someone else listening to me at the same time, time went by slow yet so fast...i think some of my friends are going to hate me

I'm the bad shoulder and you're the good shoulder!

SO! brandi, my good ol' friend is over spending the night, we decided to go out on a walk, i wore my devil cape and she wore my halo and fairy wings, when we got home we took pictures and you all get to see! SO HERE WE GO!

some editing, cropping and getting rid of stuff
DEMONEYES
"whassup!"
"angie! act like youre eatting the mushroom!" "OKAY!"

i look shorter than her but im actually taller by like 2 inches XD


i love this picture
"angie! look im in jail!" "what the hell! XD"



"angie what are you doing" "nuffing" "are you eatting your cape?" "nof"
we were recreating the time brandi ran into that pole while she ran through the sprinker, she bent it pretty bad

and bending it back, although im the one that bent it back, she was trying to make it straighter though

"brandi! spin!" "what?" "spin around in circles!"

"look! i can make a tent!"


"i've got a good side!"

"brandi flip me off" "what? why?" "just do it"


i was shaking my head really fast ._.

Laptop buddy!

so ive got my laptop back, kinda... so um... my screen died AGAIN so now i have a monitor in my room, but its all like..a flat screen, and the only place i can think to put it is way higher than my bed.. which is where i sit with my laptop... so this is kinda weird... maybe ill move my bookshelf next to my bed and put the monitor there... oh well... anyways um... FOR MY DAY!

dundundun, so missy and fuji woke me up this morning to ask if i wanted to go to the mall, and since i was already going to go to the mall with joe i though well why not, i havent seen missy or fuji since summer started, so i went, and i found the recipe that fujis mom REALLY wanted from me, they werent going to take me if i didnt have it -_- but i got it so yay! we got to the mall and walked around and talked and got POCKY! strawberry pocky, and it was awsome, later when i was in borders with fuji and missy joe called and he came and found us ^_^ and we all walked around till like 2:30 and we went to wait for fujis mom, then joe and i spent like 45 minutes just talking and loitering outside of jillians, that was just really nice, then we walked around and joe called jeff, we found jeff and our group became larger, and well i found chelseas emo boy who i met at lovesac, he didnt reconize me at first, and well one of the people was grant, a boy who went to elementary school with me... and honestly i think he hated me, i once had to do a project with him about delawere, when he found out he was my partner he got all mad e_e now hes got longer hair... and a totally different style, it took me awhile just to reconize him, we almost saw a movie and i was so looking foreward to doing so, but it never happened, joe and i were kinda ticked about that and ditched the rest of the group, went and got some food from super target cause we were mad hungry, so we ate outside the target and talked, later we went inside the mall again and walked around some more, then went back outside target to wait for rides, luckily mine came first and joe didnt have to explain who the girl was when he was at the mall with his "guy friend alex", got home, called some people, and got online and now here i am with a monitor in my room, talking to drw and joe online, one of these days im sure joe will get sick of me

So this one time...

okay so i had this really weird dream last night and i just have to write it down before i forget

okay so i was in this library when cassie runs past me and grabs me wrist, and drags me behind her, she tells me to follow her and we go to dannys house, and for some reason her mother hugs me and then i get some text message from tawni (kyles girlfriend who has no idea who i am) i get really confused as to why shes texting me then danny and cassie drag me off to a concert, and while im at the concert i find liz and then i end up making out with her, then the dream ended

odd eh?

Emotionally Unstable

You say you want to see the real me?
I'm sorry to say I keep her under lock and key
Her cell is dark and damp
She calls it her very own consintration camp
Late at night she cries
Her world is filled with lies
The anger she hides
Shows a smile on the outside
She's going insane
She can't make it through all the pain
Gem and Jack control her life
They killed the voice of reason with a dull knife
The voices are all she knows
It's for the best, I supose
She'll never live up to others expectations
No matter what the variations
She'll never be good enough
She's bitter and gotten tough
I put this fake smile on my face
So just maybe I can come in first place
You see now why I hide her?
I could let her out if you'd prefer
She's got a warning on the label
"Emotionally Unstable"

Mofia much?

so today was sevrely uneventful, but i did end up going out to dinner with the family and ashley, i arm wreatled with mom, lost horribly, we shot straws at eachother, and some how my sister and ashley are convinced im going to end up going out with joe, yea right, i mean he was even out on a date today XD and i told cassie and ashley of that
cassie: hes got a girl?
ashley: we can take care of that
me: what? i feel like i have hitmen
and then after i ate i threw it up e_e and when i got home, i got a nose bleed, and i sneezed blood but that was kinda cool...

It's a six foot rabbit with his ears tucked under a baseball cap!

So, last night i was writing poems in here and thn the internet was mean and shut down and i lost all that i had, so this is what you get, it made me laugh
you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots
I mean that is just some FUCKED UP SHIT
the Trix rabbit, for example
I dunno man... if I were him I'd be fucking KILLING some kids
I remember a commercial where the fuckin rabbit WENT INTO A FUCKIN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN FUCKIN MONEY.
fuckin kids came outta NOWHERE and basically fuckin mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit
"silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
Fuckin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
FUCK NO that wouldn't fly with me
I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fuckin bitches
and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them bitches and THEN beat the shit out of them some more.
and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a fuckin kid?
I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
"Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
NO.
I'd be thinking
"that's a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the FUCK was I just smoking?"
another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
they show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fuckin grapefruit... who the FUCK eats a breakfast that big
not me
I don't even EAT breakfast nomore
I mean, I eat when I get up
but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"
bitch, you make my fucking sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the fucking money
don't give me that shit.
Back to stupid cereal mascots...
Lucky Charms.
FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS
Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of fucking 6 year olds?!?!?
C'mon now, Lucky.
I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the fucking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.
"They're after me Lucky Charms!"
....
KILL THEM, BITCH!
I dunno why I went off on this rant here
it's just always bothered me."

The Broken Angie Toy?

emotionally unstable angie is here to stay, least for alittle while
i attempted to make kyle hate me so then maybe i wouldnt have to care and it wouldnt hurt so much anymore, all i ended up doing was pissing him off, i hate distance, its not fair, in the mist of my breakdown the only one talking to me (other than kyle) was joe, i vented to him, vented on how i feel like im always in second place, i can never win anything, and there must be something wrong with me, what else could be the reason? he said he didnt think there was anything wrong with me, i feel like a broken toy no one wants, theres always someone better than me, and im left out in the cold, people make promises they can never keep, joe cheered me up when i was crying, him and i are starting to become pretty good friends, its nice to have someone to talk to, we were going to meet at dairyqueen today but plans didnt work out, and last night we ended up making a promise, well a deal really, he wouldnt drink for the rest of the summer if i didnt cut for the rest of the summer, and if he drinks and i find out i get to kick his ass, and if i cut and he finds out he get to get more drunk than he ever has, hopefully by the end of the summer, hell be over drinking and ill be over cutting

sooo... for awhile im going to be very mood swingy.. and my moods are hard to tell apart, sometimes when im mad it can be confused with happiness, so if something happens and i piss you off while im emotionally unstable, im sorry

Why don't those manicans have shoes?

picture of some fireworks

me and missy, on the 4th

so anyways, today, chelsea woke me up this morning around 10, we tried pulling an all nighter but it didnt work, after we turned off the videogames and the laptop we started talking, she told me to tell her all of what happened last night, so i did, after awhile i realized how quiet she was "chelsea...? ...are you asleep? ...okay then.. talking to myself.." i fell asleep about an hour and a half later, so i walked chelsea home around 11:30 and went downstairs, watched danny phantom till about 1 when i passed out on the basement floor, i woke up to my cellphone going off, it was joe, he said he was going to be late getting to the mall, so i went upstairs to get ready, watched some tv with dad, and mom came home and we went to pick up mia, when we got there we kinda walked in silence, mia and i arent that close but there was alittle bit of talking, after a bit i got a call from joe, we started walking around target while joe was trying to find us, we finally stopped in sporting goods, i sat in the middle of the isle, we waited for joe, he came, he called some people to come to the mall too otherwise he was stuck with all girls, then he called brittney and andrea, and we met up with them, brittney reminded me of my old friend mary, the way she acted and talked, laughed, it all reminded me so much of mary, well most of the time i was quiet, when we met up with jeff, joe kept wandering off with him, mia brittney and andrea talked to eachother about people they all knew and i had never heard of, so i was kinda left out there, not to mention i was tired, missy popped out of nowhere and i attacked her with hugs, and patted ariel on the head, i think there was something wrong with her though she didnt say anything to me, we also found whitney outside along with others, and mia and i left, i got home and the evening went on slowly, i talked to laura on the phone, she got a bit tipsy and mariah and i messed wih her head, mariah said she wont remember any of it by tomorrow, i just hope she doesnt have a hangover when she goes to summer school, pirates of the caribbean comes out... i want to see it so bad, someone go with me?

I should know better than to open my heart.

well well well this night has been... very... eventful, i saw laurens kitten (lauren was my old babysitter when cassie went to summer school) and it was so cute, we never did get around to cleaning my room, chelsea and i went to glennon with ducky, and now shes spending the night

so heres my rant:
im starting to wonder if there really is that "one person" for me, yes yes i know im still young blah blah blah, but still, anyways, i thought i loved this boy, we were close, even though he lives pretty far away, weve been like best friends for about 5 years, he said he was completely devoted to me and nothing would come between him and i, he promised it, and id always say hed find someone better, hed say he wouldnt, and even if he did he only wanted me, then all of a sudden he wasnt on for a week, he comes on today and says he found another girl, he doesnt want her but he feels the same for her that he did for me, and now all of a sudden he doesnt aknowledge that he said he loved me, he only 'liked' me, for the first couple minutes i was in shock, i didnt know what to feel, i knew hed find someone else but i didnt think this soon, and he was even starting to convince me that we would be together forever, then this happens, he felt guilty for breaking his promises, and giving me false hopes, he said that talking to me on the computer and the phone just wasnt enough and that the lonelyness consumed him, so he gets the girl and im tossed aside, at first i told him i was happy for him, after alittle bit i realized what happened and i cried, i typed to him sloppily from my shaking, chelsea was in the living room at the time, i imed her (how lame) telling her what happened, she came into my room and hugged me, i had just stopped crying when she walked in but when she hugged me and i tried to speak i started crying again, within the hour i was smiling again and trying to cheer him up because he was kicking his own ass for being a jackass to me, i tried to convince him he wasnt a screw up and only human, and humans do whatever they can to make themselves happy, and that girl was what was making him happy and i wasnt, he still feels bad he broke a promise, and he has things on his mind hes refusing to tell me, its the first time hes refused to tell me anything, it feels weird, i feel weird, i dont.. feel anything right now aside from my hunger (which by the way ive lost like 10 pounnds this summer all from forgetting to eat, yay?) i dont remember what it feels like to be happy, sad or any of that, i feel empty and alone, and i mean come on, like any of the guys around here would give me a second look, all i am is either a friend or "weird" im sick of being the good friend, and gosh damnit i need a hug

YAY INDEPENDENCE!

so last night i went to see fireworks with my ellie-pet, that was REALLY fun, so while we were driving there it was raining super hard, and all of a sudden ellie starts singing "rain rain go away so we can play with firee" i started laughing and said "yay songs!" when we got there we waited in the car for awhile, ellie and i played blackjack 21 on my phone, ellies mom and dad read, and hannah (ellies sister) flipped through magazines and looked at ringtones, she found one that was the mario theme song and ellie and i were singing it for like the next 10 minutes, and there were talking about the people walking by
hannah: look that kid is a bumble bee!
me: you.. mean a lady bug?
hannah: yea! that one
me: because bees are red with black dots
then when the rain had mostly stopped ellie and i went to make sure the firwork show was still on, we were walking over there and
ellie: well i bet its still on, i mean look at all the people
me: yea or else alot of people are going to be sevrely disappointed
ellie: i dont see anyone we know do you?
then i spot alan
me: um... ellie keep walking, i see alan
ellie: what where!
we walked back to the car and missy found us and it was a hug fest "OMG ITS MISSY! *hug* ...ITS MISSY! *hug again*"
there was much laughing, playing with taffy, hugging, and fake fighting, then we walked over to the park to find ellies parents, we lost missy then i ran at her and she screamed "AMBUSH!" and i stopped right infront of her and looked at her, and we saw this cute little kid with glow sticks, omg so cute, his parents got annoyed of us though "are you going to stand there the entire show?" probaby because every time a car alarm went off we all yelled "beep!" so we walked back to ellies parents and we sat on a blanket and talked, when it started missy ran off and i used ellie as a pillow, and attempted to take pictures, which didnt work out too well, but ill post them here later i think, and i yelled "yay independence" randomly during the show, after the show we went home, ellie spilled dr pepper and we giggled
today mom is forcing me to clean my room, so ive hidden things i dont want her to find, such as my razors and my notebook, hopefully it wont be too bad

fogwars...? XD

LESBIANS!

so i still have some things on my mind, i think ive just been moody lately, and im sorry to who ever has had to deal with it
in other news i went to the mall today with amber, which was fun, we wandered around and after awhile we had our arms around eachother, mine resting on her shoulder, and hers around my waist, people gave us dirty looks as we walked by, most likely because they thought her and i were lovers, we read in borders, we went outside so she could smoke, we found one of her friends along with a girl who was in my french class, they gave us popper things, we eventually went into target and bought 5 boxes of them, i gave her two boxes, i kept two for myself and i figure ill give a box to jesus for his birthday for i have no more money, one of the rentacops made us pick up all the little pieces of them though, which sucked, i did have to do because amber made me stay with our stuff, and when they were off "picking up the trash" they really just ditched me and left me with the rentacop and he asked me questions and stuff, unrelated to anything worth knowing, i dont feel like writing much, sorry

I really don't know my friends do I?

this past year, freshmen year, has been... suprizing to say the least
i realized how innocent i really am, i found out just how many of my friends are into drugs, the number took my breath away, and not in a good way.. the real shock was at ashleys birthday party.. i was the only one not getting stoned... two of my friends who had never done it before decided to jump in and try anyways... i gave in and downed some alcohol, i felt nothing but the horrid taste, they all thought i got clambaked because i kept giggling when one of the girls kept asking where her sock was, i got mad at them when they all decided to get stoned within minutes of my mom picking us up to go to the mall, leaving me in the hall alone, i refused to speak to any of them for atleast 2 weeks, now i come to find that another one of my friends smokes... and drinks.. i worry about them all so much, it takes all i have not to cry, and what good thats doing, i can barely see the keyboard through my tears... which seem to be mixing themselves with blood...
in other news, im having the same old thoughts of my friends leaving me out, whether it ntentional or not... everyone is so busy now, and i have nothing to do, the few people who also have nothing to do, well i feel bad calling them every other day or so to ask if they want to hang out, im not all that pleasent to begin with, sometimes i think it might be because of the whole ordeal with trevor, they all seemed to be better friends with trevor than me, known him longer, better, things like that, and when they want to hang out with him it is most definite ill be left out, sometimes i think i should just give up trying to be their friends because theyll all seem to step around me causiously because of trevor, all except for jared, he seems to be the only one not afriad to mention trevor around me
also, i fear i screw up everyones life, like... im not a good influence... all my friends i have grown apart from seem to have now great friends, better opertunities, and a better life than ever before, i think i should just isolate myself from the world, or kill myself, then everyone can have happy lives
on a totally lighter note: happy birthday to jesus, i think ill buy him plastic dinosaurs for his birthday, just because i can