best night of my life

well last night was the halloween dance, but before the actual dance i spent about half of the day reading gay guy comics, its called boy meets boy and im still reading it, its really addicting e_e; well then i ran around the house getting my stuff together before trevor came over to pick me up, cassie agreed to let me borrow her cat ears for monika so i asked for them, she changed her mind because i had an "attitude" and i said i couldnt find mine coupld i PLEASE borrow hers, she made it a definite no when she found id let monika borrow hers, i screamed fine and stopped back upstairs, tore part of my room apart looking for my car ears and found them under my backpack, when she came upstairs and found me wearing them and mocked me saying "oooo i thought you lost them" and finished with calling me a liar, dad wondering what the argueing was about was then told cassies side of the store, which ofcourse always favors her, i was still in a rush to get ready and decided to forget it, trevor came while i was in the middle of brushing my teeth, cassie started telling him how tweaked i was i screamed shut up cassie from the bathroom and dashed to my room to get my bag and my cat tail, i left and we went shopping, after finding all of the stuff we needed we headed back to trevors house, when we got there, i ended up laying on the livingroom floor and me being really tired i almost fell alseep on the floor too, and it occured to me after the dance i really should have just slept, but really thats pretty rude, instead we went on the computer and i looked at more gay comics ^^; then we went outside and dyed trevors hair green, we went back to the computer and we finally got ahold fo june and se was over not too much later after we got ahold of her, we lounged around, the pizza came, and we ate it, afterwards we did trevors make up, mine and junes, trevor kept fixing my lipstick, XD then wed say something about it like "i thought we were helping YOU with YOUR make up" and hed stop, only to pick up the eyeliner or the lipstick and fix mine again XD i put my hair up with a ribbon, aka my old glow in the dark star shoelace, we got into our coastumes and lunged around until we left, and mostly we were laying on the livingroom floor and june kept saying shes gonna steal trevor from me XD we got to the school and waited for monika, found ryan and he said he forgot his id, we found monika and leah and i gave monika my cat ears, we got in and found fuji and missy, and whooooo team! we made out way to the gym and danced, although it took me awhile to actually get into it, but i did end up deancing to all the songs i hate and singing to them, for i know all the words from listening to mom sing them so much, we took a couple brakes, we made our way to the bathrooms and i found monika and stood by her she and leah were waiting for james to empty his bladder as she put it and june and i were waiting for trevor, i layed on the floor and closed my eyes, i kinda zoned out until jame came over and asked if they killed me, monika grabbed my side and i screamed, we went back and danced til my legs started going numb and we sat down for awhile, june stalked collin, i almost fell asleep on trevor, we went back to dancing, it eventually ended, no slowsongs sadly enough, there were so many slow songs at the homecoming dance e_e; we were herded out of the school, only to wait outside and waste film, hopefully the come out, i really want to see them, and hopefully steal some to scan and put on myspace or something, anyways, we walked to the front after calling trevors mom, and we walked drunky to the front of the school... waited there for awhile, finally howard came and we went home, june and i got home got some water, and went to bed, took me a couple hours to fall asleep, but i did end up fallng asleep with trevor on my mind ^^; well... to end things i guess im starting to realize im wrong.. i mean about how i percive myself... ANYWAYS HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

its times like these that make me love being me

Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
HEY
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
OMG
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
*glomp*
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
!!! *glomp* ^_^ *luffles j00 to death*
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
^^;
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
ive been so booorreeeedd
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
im sorry -_-
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
and ben doesnt talk much >.>
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
mom says hi
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
woah...
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
HI MOM!
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
oh, and yeah im going to the dance
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
WHOOO!
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
can i come pick you up
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
so i can 'take' you
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
^^;
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
um if you pick up june too XD
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
okay
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
shell be at my house
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
np
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
yay ^_^
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
i told mom and shes like "so is trevor going... oh yea i guess he would be if hes taking you" and i was like "no hes not going... just taking june and i there"
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
lol
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
yep ^_^
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
now im spazticly happy o_o
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
WHOOSH!
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
lol
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
i miss you, and its only been a few hours
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
yaw >.> if you would have still been at the school june and i were gonna stalk yooou
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
aww
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
by the time we actually got home it was like four thirty
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
o_o
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
lmao
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
XD we got REALLY distracted
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
plus took the long way
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
AND WE SAW LILY
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
she was bat girl X3
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
lol
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
thats pretty special
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
uhhh
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
do you still wanna come shopping tomorrow
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
it was funnt cause we were walking down union then i heard my name turned around iand it was lily
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
mhm ^_^
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
i have NTOHING
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
rthf
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
NTOHGING
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
...to do
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
sure well go with that
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
i get it ^^;
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
i thought so
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
so, when is june coming over?
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
which is why i stoped trying
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
i dont now
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
know
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
late afternoon
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
or something
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
okay, cuz i gotta do a whole bunch of chores b4 my mom will take me shopping
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
so, i estimate 3 or 4
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
you always seem to have alot of chores
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
but, i could wait till june comes over, then take her with us
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
all i do is cappicino and dishes
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
lol
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
lucky face...
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
nah i think shes coming over like... 7 or something
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
okie
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
MAHFACEISHLUCKY
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
o_o;
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
i know ^_^
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
*pets your face*
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
^u^
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
i do more things for cassie though
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
X3
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
awww
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
how cute
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
lol
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
well, im sorry that this was so short... but imma have to go to bed soon
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
><;l
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
i hate leaving you......
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
it seems somewhat symbolic to me
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
back to badgering ben to say more than two things
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
explain?
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
uh
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
as in, im going away from you to do something else...
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
but since im not really here... but still, it makes me sad that i have to go
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
erm... but sleep is better than teh lame angie?
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
naw
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
yaww
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
angie, i care about you so much. i would give you my heart if it didnt have a death-grasp on the inside of my body...
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
XD
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
yaw lets keep yer organs in yew
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
but for now, you can get away with stealing my heart thats not inside of me
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
i love you so much!!!
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
^_^
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
welllll!
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
i lurve you more, the end
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
lol
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
we couldhave this argument for a while
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
but lets not
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
XD
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
so, have sweet dreams... and remember how much you are loved
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
never forget
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
well lemme just say this, im glad that even though you deserve better you settle with me
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
im not settling
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
and you have sweet dreams too
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
thats absolute crap
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
>.>
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
^^;
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
makes sense to me
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
yer more than i have ever dreamed of... you DONT give yourself enough credit
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
take it from me, you are the best... and im not settling
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
i give myself more than enough credit than i deserve ^_^
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
well, i see it how i see it
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
and i see you as an amazing person... and lets just say: i have 20-14 vision XDXD
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
XD
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
itd be kinda weird if you saw things on how i saw them
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
youd be all... vain and such then O_o;
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
-_-
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
okie enough thinking about that now
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
starting to confuse me
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
well, im glad that im able to love you so...
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
and also that i get the same feelings in return
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
thank you angie
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
and it is too thank-worthy
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
NOTTHANKWORTHYOMG
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
lol
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
and if i wouldnt have missspelled that so many times i would have said it first
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
yeah right
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
dream on
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
im shaking too much to type well honestly XD
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
why are you shaking?
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
i dont know, im kinda cold but i dont think thats it, i think my mind just... eitherl otverly happy or sevrely drpessed happy
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
either way i randomly feel like dacning
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
i hope yer happy... thats all i want you to be
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
no matter the cost, if any
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
well ifyer happy then chances after im atleast halfly happy
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
my eyes are watering im so happy
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
id be happier with a labotomy ^_^
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
o_o;
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
lol
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
im sorry..?
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
it happens
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
its not a bad thing you fork
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
im happy, talking to you has put me in such a good mood
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
vise versa!
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
which is why ive been on for awhile waiting >.>
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
^_^
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
im crying now... ^_^
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
thank you angie (no sarcasm)
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
awwh =3
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
i dont really get how people cry form being happy
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
it happens
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
i just get... giddy i guess o_O;
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
ive never actually cried from being happy
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
ive cried from laughing so hard i couldnt breathe for a long time but thats about it
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
lol
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
im here angie, always here, holding on to you in a strong hug
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
never let go.
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
^_^
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
OHOHOHO
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
h
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
have you read my note?
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
yeah
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
have you torn it up yet? ^_^
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
no, i wont
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
aww...
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
come on
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
but i gotta go to bed now... ^_^ im not tearing it up
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
lol, love ya
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
finneee >.> ill find it one dayyy... >.>
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
*kisses you on teh forehead* gnight angie
Nariko Shimizu~I'll be your number one with a bullet, a loaded god-complex, cock it and pull it. says:
NIGHTNIGHTTREVORILOVEYOUMORETHANYOUKNOW!
~1337~ l\/l4574l-l .:7123\/:. What's my problem today? says:
bye ^_^ <3 *continues to tear up as he runs off to bed*

so happy i have lost my edge

WEELLLLL this week has beeennnn... teh suck, really i dont know why but it has, probably just pms e_e ANYWAYS yesterday had to have been one of the worst days so far this year, ive way more things on my mind than needed, mostly about where the hell my life is actually going, heard trevors plan and that got me all... depressed like, cried like 3 times thinking about it... ANYWAYS ive been thinking about that non stop, when i got to science and such it was ok, until we finally finished our posters, see im was in a group with chaz and sean, chaz is ok but seans just plain hell, really, its like its his GOALINLIFE to make me miserable, now honestly, all he freakin did on the project was say "get to work angela" and whiteout our mistakes, and most of the time he got whiteout all over his hands and mine, sometimes i wish i could just kick him... so im already pissed off at sean, and geography we did an activity... made me feel worse... by the time i got to lunch... about half way through lunch i couldnt stop myself from crying, i spent about five minutes saying over and over to myself "suck it up its not that bad, dont ruin others days by crying" but everytime someone asked how i was and i said i had a bad day it got harder and harder to keep the tears in, finally i put my head down while lana was sitting next to me, she started talking to me and poked me when i didnt respond, i lifted p my head and she could tell i had been crying, hell how could she not? the first time she spent the night at my house she ended up seeing me crying because one of my friends was trying to kill himself and telling me all the gruesome details.. and i couldnt do a damn thing to stop him, after while i came downstairs because i wanted a hug from lana, anyways its abit of a blur, i put my yhead back down and people started noticing how isolated i had made myself and sevreal people asked me if i was ok, asked me what was wrong and such, but for the most part i spent about 10 minutes or so just crying, and everyso often id lift my head just to wipe my nose on my sleep and put my head back down, afte i was about done crying, ashley decided to drag me off to ask me what was wrong much like she did at homecoming, and its kinda funny how... sweet how she pushes people out of the way and such just to find out whats wrong with me though, even if it is filled with cussing and "FUCK OFF" its still sweet, dont get me wrong though, my other friends help too, like ellie and leah hugging me, people who i thought wouldnt even care telling me to feel better, and even people like trevor who are just there

wow... i just totally nelgected this XD WELL enough of all of that consitering i probably wont stay too... consumed in actually posting it, and that brings me to something else, does anyone even read this anymore?! i mean really, i get NO feedback from ANYONE anymore, this is seeming to be more of a journal more for my reading than anyone elses, consitering ive probably read this blog ten times more than anyone else
ANYWAYS im starting to think i should just end this blog really...

"I'll just shut my eyes!" "Oh you'll open them, you have to breathe sometime" "Wait... what do my eyes have to do with breathing?"

YAY! WELLLLLLL! its only saturday night and ive already have a very eventful weekend, yesterday we (as in mitch trevor and i) were going to go to the imax for extra credit, but it wasnt playing anymore OWWIE OWW OW T_T my leg my leg... anyways... im not going to go through all of that... honestly i have other things on my mind lately like well..kyle and my conversation, sometimes i really think we have the same brain, we share so many things in common... here read and mind you this are just thoughts

Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
*pokes you repeatedly*
[sevrely alot cut out just for your convinence]
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
most of the time when hes about to go to bed we get into deep conversation and he doesnt go to sleep for like another hour XD
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
which i feel bad about doing
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
lol
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
he doesnt get much sleep
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
me neither but he probobly likes the conversations i mean i know i would lol
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
lol yea, but id rather him sleep
[more cut out XD]
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and hes always so tired
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
lol you know you could turn your ringer off and he'd just give up and sleep
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i know..
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
but thats mean
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and he probably wouldnt sleep anyways
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
not really if your helping him i mean
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
[omg censored!]
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
lol
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
he gets up at like 4 every morning
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and doesnt go to bed till like 10 or 11 and most of the time he cant even get to slee[
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
*sleep
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
dude i only get up at 6
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
yaw me too, but he goes to seminary
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and most of the time i sleep in till 6:40 XD
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
damn lol
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i dont think i could live being him
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
lol
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
church, then school, then band omg
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
dude thats his routine everyday?
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
yaw basicly
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and band goes till like 5
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
jesus
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
except for thursdays, then its usually church my house school than band
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
he wont sleep though
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
ah
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
hey i dont either lol
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
hed rather sleep in study hall than on my couch or something
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
only when im super tired
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
hes always super tired XD
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
if i was him i'd probobly ask for the bed XD
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
lmao jk jk XD
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
XD hes normally already in my bed
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:

Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
he just wont freakin sleep
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
lol
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and were usually watching cartoons in my room thank you very much XD
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
lol
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
and what else? =3 lol im kidding
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
lol
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
hes probobly gotten far enough already
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and the only times hes ever slept while i was around was when we were at my aunts and i was on the floor curled up with my blanket, cassie was sleeping on the couch and he fell asleep in the chair and once when leah and him were over and we were watching movies and he fell asleep while i was laying on him XD
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and he woke up pretty quick both times
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
lol
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
i drool when i sleep o_o
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
at my aunts i sat up and looked at him and he was asleep and it looked like he had been watching me by the position he was in, and i got up to get in the chair and it woke him up, and when he fell asleep when i was laying on him i was trying not to move then randomly he jurked up said he forgot his glasses in the bathroom and got up and ran to the bathroom when his glasses were on my hamper XD
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i talk in my sleep o_o
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
lmao XD
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
thats funny lol
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
leah and i were laughing
[part of convo cut out for reasons XD]
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
...like "SHUT UP!!"
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
XD
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
i about died from embarassment and she didnt look to freaked actually i think she was hoping i wouldnt wake up O_O
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
lmao
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
lol i was kinda freaked no wait "really" freaked lol
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
lol
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
awh
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
but lately we havnt been talking and shes sort of ignoring me
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
wai?
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
i dont know i mean i thought we were great but i dunno ever since we last went to the movies shes been quiet and hasnt said anything and shes mainly talking to our best friends Robert and Charlie more than me -_-;
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
and the last time we went to the movies wasnt when that occured that was a few weeks back
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
hmm..
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i dont know
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
maybe she was a bit freaked
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
no it wasnt when that bonner thingy occured the last time we went to the movies it was pretty normal and we talked alot
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
and kissed alot to so i mean i dunno what it could be
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
weird
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
hold please trash needs taking out
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
ok
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
back
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
wb
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
well... do you think she might want to break up?
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
thanks
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
idk she wont tell me and your welcome
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i dont know either... have you tried talking to that charlie dood and the other guy?
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
yea and charlie talked to shirley to see whats wrong and he told her that shes ignoring me and that she needs to talk to me...way to ask her charlie
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and the other guy?
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
he said he doesnt know whats up
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
hmm... idk then
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
i hope she doesnt break up with me i mean i really love her
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
for some reason trevor and my relationship has been feeling kinda odd... i got to thinking today and i dont think ive ever seen him really at all excited to see me
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
awh
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i hope it all works out ^^;
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
dude thats exactly the way shirley is with me and we dont talk so much any more even when were right by each other its just small talk
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
well trevor and i still talk alot, but its like... when ever i pop out of no where he just kinda goes "hey angie" and hugs me
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
i dont even get a kiss anymore it's been reduced to a hug now
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
we used to kiss in the hall all the time before class just a quick goodbye kiss and the were off to start our day but now its just and empty unsatisfying hug
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
damn im wineing sorry rain
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
dont be
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
no im sorry i mean no one wants to hear me wine its all just a big pitty party
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
no no, i like listening to peoples problems, especially my friends
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
with me and trevor its more like.. "ugh class... *glomp*"
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
yea
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
oh man you know how couples usually write notes to each other?
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
just even about random junk
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
yaww
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
well shirley hasnt written me any notes in a while and i write like once a week now cause shes not writing me so whats the point?
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
weird
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
i know
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
trevor and i write each other alot
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
we have a notebook full of notes and drawings, we pass it off on eachother during passing period
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
god its just when ever i think about shirley like this i feel really empty and cold
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
we used to do that to
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
till she lost it
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and all the notes from before ive kept ^^; like the one where he asked me out... the next one when i didnt reply... and the one that he didnt give me for weeks and weeks because he didnt know how id react
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and it was all worn out from him reading it over so much by the time he gave it to me
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
i still have every one of her notes in an envelope i keep beside by bed and i used to re-read them alot till there were to many to read in one night
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
lol
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
wow
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
thats like almost exactly like me
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i keep mine in a box though
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
wow
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i still read them over and over...
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i have them memorized
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
but they still make me smile
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
they still make me smile
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
weve got alot in common
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
we always have had alot in common lol
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
lol but its weird when our realtionships are similar too XD
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
yea true lol
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i have so many freaking memories with trevor.. i remember him even before i knew him
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i knew what he looked like... and he walked down the hall when i got out of art class... i remember one of the shirts he had
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
i forget things to easily
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
i can vaugly remember the first time i met shirley
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i have a bad memory too
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
but for some reason i remember almost all the time i spend with trevor
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
hell, i remember the social that when it was over he insisted on knowing if i had a good time or not
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
yea lol
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i remember when we got back from the mall once and he said that i was the one he wanted to ask to the social but never got around to asking
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
yea
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and for some reason i dont like having all these memories..
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
you dont? why?
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i dont know... i mean... i like remembering... but its so odd that i remember so much and it kinda remembers me
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
*scares not remembers
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
im distracted ^^;
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
lol its ok
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
and well why does it scare you?
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i dont know.. and at the same time i just dont like remembering.. i can find SO many things i could have done better
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
oh yea i do that to
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and..i wish i could be so much better you know? that i wouldnt be so much of a hassle for him
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
if he thinks your a hassle then he doesnt deserve you ok? no guy should have to even think there gf is a hassle
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i dont think he thinks im a hassle... but i know im stubborn, like when he says im the best and i shake my head and say that he can do better, and i cant help it! its like...i think he should be with someone better... and that i hate myself doesnt help at all
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
oh your just modest is all and rain your not the worst person there is if anything your even better then the rest of them cause your real you dont try to hide who you are you dont really care that much what other people think about you and to me well thats pretty incredable and he should think so to
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
but actually... i do care what people think, all the time im paranoid about whether or not people are whispering about me
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and he does think im incredible... he thinks so much of me and always trys to convince my mind otherwise
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
well thats good he should try to convince you i mean your the only person worth convencing otherwise and yes people will whisper but later in life thats when it will be your turn to whisper if you know what im saying
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
not really o_o;
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
they will be the ones trying to regain there lost youth when there older and they'll go as far as to become wreckless and lose all track of the life they should have they'll try to regain the lost youth you already possess now and later in life yes you'll lose it but you wont miss it cause you'll have already lived it
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
hmm..
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
good point
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and sometimes, i think im too young to even be dating someone
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
and then you see you'll be the one whispering about how stupid and childish they look
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
lol your not dating is just a social thing you and trevor may stay togather you may not it all deppends on how strong your love is for each other
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
hell i know me and shirley wont last a whole lot longer i mean were already breaking apart
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
but.. its like i look all around me at school and about everyone i know is going out with someone different every other week, and its no big... when me and trevor breakup im almost positive im going to be crying... but its like... were different than everyone else, we geuninely love each other we dont just go out because we want a bf or gf like most people at my school do, and i find it so stupid-
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
how people are like that, they just go out with a person so they can say they have someone, not because they actually like them, not because they actually enjoy their company, and it just doesnt make sense at all to me
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
holy shit i feel the exact same way and it just feels as if you are the only two people that are actually staying togather cause you really love each other and not just so you might get some ass you know?
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and then that kinda makes me think, well maybe this is just too good to be true you know? like he might be just like all the rest and just wants the status of boyfriend and im just a pawn in his game, and then its like... why the hell am i thinking that, he would never do that, he would never want to hurt me, hell he says sorry when i kick him because it may have hurt me!
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
teens can be such sex hounds... makes me sick to my stomach really
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
its just pointless with the others but idk why but when im with shirley even just walking down the hall i see everyone with someone different and were the only "real" people there everyone else is like a...um, a puzzel that never gets solved and with me the piece fits for a while but i never can tell if she fits i mean you know what im saying right? oO;
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
yes, yes they are and they'll be the ones with STDs just watch em
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
yea... but its like... you know its going to end and you know it wont last forever, and you get more afriad everyday they they WILL meet someone better and youll be left behind, and they may just break it off thinking its no big deal, when you really felt the real thing, and it actually pains you to even think about that... you know?
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
yea i do know...all to well as a matter a fact...and you even think to yourself when you wake up "Was it a dream? am I really still here?" or "Will today be the day they find someone new and forget me?"
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
yea, and then you know its comng and you try to prepare but you know that it will still just be a massive blow that will take a long time to recover from
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
and even when you feel whole again the pains never really gone its like a scar thats forever eched into the back of your memories
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and then you hate yourself for keeping all those memories that used to make you smile but now just remind you how stupid you really were
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
and everytime you remember the pain just starts to overwhelm you again and you feel worthless like a piece of trash that was kicked around then tossed to the side never to be touched by human hands or never to be loved ever again
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
its really depressing when you think about how bad life really is...its all like one big joke...a sick horrible joke meant to toy with your emotions till you finally break
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
but its like... you see so many adults that HAVE found happiness... and you wonder if youll ever be like that... and if this person WILL be the one you spend your life with.. i think about that everday... what if me and trevor really DO last and we end up getting married and everything... what would it be like?
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
but what really kills me to think about is that even if you stay with this person how long with that last cause even when your married you not truely free of worry i mean what if you lose them later to yet again someone else or what if they die right before your eyes and your the one left with the wounds of an incomplete life
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
your* sorry
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and then youd even feel bad about if you died before them... about how much pain youd put them through
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
and what if theres children involved would you really want the pain or even death of your own flesh and blood to cloud you emotions and haunt you and if they dont even know who you are or your left all alone with them will they feel like you and bare the same flesh wounds as you? what if they fall further than you did and actually end up hating themselves and think there to blame for what happened
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
either that or they'll just end up doing exactly what were doing now wondering if there even fit to bare the wounds and scars of a harsh life that lies ahead for them
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
then it really makes you think whether or not itd just be better if you had never met them to leave them with heartache..
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
or what if you had been raised differently? would you be just like the sex hounds of teens we see in our skool today? or would you still be the same as you are now
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
and if you were one of those sex hounds, would you secretly be hurt by all the short relationships, or really just be able to shake it off?
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
like an emotionless drone of the rest of today scoceity who thinks they can just slide by in life with no effects from there causes and the damage they'v done not even thinking there actions would and could kill another human life
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
exactly, and how many people would you hurt if you were like that?
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
damn were almost exactly the same on all this its amazing lol
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
but yea its just not right how some of these sexist blood hounds live and breath and how they rob people of whatever humanity they possess just for there own selfish gain
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
kinda makes you wonder if everything would just be better with arranged marriages with how many sex hounds and abusers there are now a days
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
nah they'd just find a way around it almost the entire population of the world was built on arranged marriages and we've managed to stray away everytime
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
besides its not really fair to those who "really do" love a person there not arranged to marry
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
true
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
but really there arent many of those anymore
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
so many devoirces
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
just a very short few now adays its sad to see how far humanity has fallen
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
yea my mom and dad are both divorced my mom twice my dad 7 times so i was bred from the very type of person i hate most and i will never be the same as him as long as i live since he left me i was pretty much called a bastard by the rest of society cause i was fatherless and still remain
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
not to mention i was also one of those "accidents" people have been having so many of lately...
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
yet again, damn sex hounds
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
but then again, its like you never really KNOW if you actually love someone enough and if you wont find someone better
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
yep...both my mother and father, sex hounds
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
yea...
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
my mother still to this day remains a whore and i will resent her with every last breath in my body but my father isnt getting off so easy either
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
im glad my parents arent like that..
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
you'd better count your blessings you dont have to hear your very own mother fucking another man one she and you only know as a stranger and shes doing this in your house its to much for me to handle once i actually burst in the room and hit the guy with a iron pole in the face we almost got sued if it hadnt been for my mother's "seduction"...
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:

Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
damnit
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
i have to go
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
cassies home
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
im sorry... nice talking to ya though
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
ah its ok i understand
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
bye rain and sweet dreams
Nariko Shimizu~Boys and boys should be together, Girls and girls can rule the world. says:
bai bai kyle *huggles* you too, lurve ya
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
*huggles back* bye
"I was a creature before I could stand!!" says:
and i luve you to ^^

cut out some stoof cause its all personal and such XD and its kinda odd, kyle is about the only one that this happens with, where we build of one thought and just add and add and we both agree on whats being said... he like... unlocks thoughts in my brain by doing that, kinda odd really..

ANYWAYS bands got state compatition today... best wishes and luck with that, wait...todays sunday isnt it!? dang it XD i forgot sunday comes after saturday... how sad... i should do some homework i guess... anyways... BAI BAI! ^_^

oh em freakin jello gee

and speaking of the word "freakin" my mom wishs for me to stop using it, says it s bad languages and such... although you hear things 20x worse coming from cassies mouth... ah well
well its actually getting to actually look like fall... leaves turning colors and falling to the ground... possible snow weather.. and the clarks lawn is still totally green *shrug* anyways! yesterday was my semi ongstresscatchup day for not being in school most of monday, went to access, and about all my teachers were... still not at school... so i went back to them... and well... fuji missie and i were on the evil stairs and i was looking down at the people in the commons... fuji said it looked like i was about to jump, so i acted like i was going to anddd... who should be standing where i would land if i did jump but chelsea, kinda freaked her out too XD we were all team like, then went to class, only... we were missing trevor from our team XD so we were the fantastic 3, anyways, nothing really important through my classes... english we did englishy things, science... umm.. i dont remember science, photography erm... amber helped me develop and my contact sheet was all.. really light... geography, austin and i copied jareds map, YAY JARED! and we had a test... lunch... TREVOR WAS BUSTED and we all concluded, it was my fault for not watching for the janitor... ah well i had my mind on other things really, like not getting sick... i felt all awful... anyways, while trevor was n the office, i decided to stand in the shade and watched everyone else play with the hackie sack... and mitchs attempts at around the world were just so much funnier without the hackie sac study hall i studied OMG hmm... people keep petting me now that i have been wearing cat ears... about 6 random people a day either comment on my ears, try to steal them, or pet me, or in ashleys case its "*pet pet* pretty kitty... yes... such a pretty kitty... PURR DAMNIT KITTY! good kitty..." o_o she scares me alot, anyways, french i presented! wheeeee... and... i think her name is kelly.. but she commented on my ears too, XD and lana came in near the middle of the period and i shouted HAI ELENA! as she was leaving... math.. erm.. i didnt pay ...we had a test T_T...quizical thing... i got a low c... as in 71percent on it XD but better than courtney and collin went home.. did some things... OMG LAPTOP I HAVE A MONITER ITS A FLATSCREEN I MIGHT HAVE A COMPUTER IN MY ROOM AS SOON AS I GET A FREAKIN POWERCORD! and internet e_e AND THEN I MIGHT GET WILLY AND SIMON THE SOURCERRRRR! ^_^ and other assorted games i found amusing that we still may have...whats really sad is cassie and i have the first part of willy beanish memorized... up until wed get stuck XD and seriously its really hard to get through that game without cheats... probably inpossible too XD anyways...

LAST NIGHT! i had two of some odd dreams (hell if my dreams are ever normal do i ever post em here?) anyways... FIRST DREAM this i think has got to be one of the weirdest dreams ive had... wow more than an hour of distracting.. anyways, i was walking to school and the first person i see is trevor, and hes smoking, i get upset and try to act like i didnt see him, but he runs up to me and hugs me then asks if i want one too, i tell him no and tell him he shouldnt be smoking, he gets mad and some other kid comes over and asks what my problem is, i start crying and say trevor should know, then the kid asks if im senitive about smoking because of my parents, and i scamper off, when i get to a class room theyre watching a movie, so i come into the class and see my old friend megan in the arms of trevor, i get even more upset, megan spots me and gets up to hug me, then we start messing around and i look over to see trevor even more mad, i threaten to dump him because hes doing all this bad stuff and he ends up dumping me right there thats when i woke up, looked at the clock and it was 4am, so i went back to sleep in my next dream im with lee at the mall, and shes picking out stuff for halloween, somehow the mall is hooked to her room and we find james running to her room, when he comes back he has anthony, chelsea and daniel find us too, and then we go into lees room and then lee decides she wants to go for a walk, and its like... 1am so her and anthony start walking james decides to drive, and chelsea daniel and i drive in another car, we stop at a church having lost everyone else, and go inside, we start looking around and then daniel kicks a cat, i yell at him and smack him in the head then i run after the cat to aid it, the cats fine daniel tells me and i yell that he could have seriously injured it, and when i said that the cat jumps up into my arms and starts purring, then daniel says hes really thirsty and asks if theres a kitchen around here, chelsea yells down the stairs no, and i ask daniel if theres a water pump and he can use my water bottle which i conveninly have in my backpack i just happen to be carrying around, we start walking up the stairs and se a room lit with candles, we all go towards it and find it empty so we decide to stay there for the night, about 3 minutes later james comes in panting saying lees gone missing, anthony comes in after him and i look at them both, lean agsint the wall covering my face, my legs go limp and i slide to the floor... and while laying on the floor i start crying because i wouldnt get to see lee again, james looms oer me and trys to assure me wed find her again and thats when my alarm woke me up -.-; annndd... thats about all i want to say for now, yay!

D=<

well, me whole goal of not missing school was officially spoiled today, last night i was up till about midnight reading with the light of my gameboy, although... id get bored and play sonic so i was going pretty slow, woke up this morning and was sevrely hungry so i decided to eat some breakfast, grabbed a griddle cake thing from the freezer, and collected my laundry while it was in the microwave, i only got to eat about half of it because everytime i took a bite my stomach would hurt even more, i told mom we fought over music, thhheenn... i went to go brush my teeth, thats where teh suck began, after i was mostly done brushing my teeth i ended up throwing up twice, i think mostly because i have a really bad gag reflex and i agrivated it while brushing my teeth... stoopid toothpaste i told mom i was fine and went to school, i felt even worse but still went to my classes, i got through 1st and second (english and science) and had gotten into photography, felt even worse from the smell of chemicals, ms ellison asked how i was i said i was sick and i might not make it through the whole period, she told me to go to the clinic right then with all of my stuff and go lay down, when i got there i felt even worse and decided to call mom to go home, i waited for mom and she picked me up, on the way home i didnt feel much better, as soon as i got inside i put my stuff down on the chair by the door and went straight to my room to lay down, muffin came and layed down with me as i watched tv and i ended up falling asleep, around 11:40 i woke up to my phone vibrating and ringing.. only problem was, i had no idea where the hell my phone went, i went on a mad search for it following the sound of the ring and finally found it under my mattress, and it said jared had called, im guessing at the end of the lunch period, i tried calling it back but it only went to the answering machine, soooo i went back to watching tv, mom and dad left to get something from the store, i got up and made some ramen ate that and went back to sleep, woke up again ate some icecream and went back to sleep XD im seeing a pattern, anyways when i woke up i went downstairs after watching an hour of tv, and played on the computer, after a bit i went upstairs saw the kitten from next door at the back door, so i locked minky in the bathroom so i could go outside and pet the kitty, well as soon as i opedned the door the cat ran inside and straight to muffin, i pushed muffin away and got the cat and went back outside, spent about 5 minutes outside petting the kitten and jasmine, then went back inside, let minky out and went back to the back door and sat meowing at the cats for 10 minutes, is that sad or what? went off...came back and meowed at the cats some more, went back downstairs and thats where ive been since... NOW! im just waiting for someone to call or im me or something... im so freaking bored e_e; but feeling kinda better... i probably will be at school tomorrow

you might be an Angie if...?

do you wait all day online just to talk to someone for less than five minutes? do you wait for someone outside of their class so you can walk with them? have you seen someones face and cant help but smiling? do you spend most of your day looking at the floor infront of you instead of holding your head high? do you do things to get yourself notices just so you dont have to start conversations with people? are you scared of what people think of you? have you tried staving yourself to fit in? have you bled just to get your mind off it all? have you felt so self conscience that whenever you heard whispers you were convinced they were talking about you? are you that person in the back of the class no one notices? are you only known by who your friends with? do you miss people so much that youd rather take the heat for walking over to wherever they are in the middle of the night than to go another minute with no contact? have you ever just wanted to stop and scream? do you ever just close your eyes and wish you were somewhere else? have you ever just closed your eyes while on the swings or on a rollorcoaster and just went with the flow? are you the type of person thatcan think clearly when everything around you is chaos but while your alone you cant get a complete thought for the life of you? do all of your thoughts and problems seem to dissappear when you see one person? do your thoughts seem to repeat themselves? do the voices of your mind hate each other and seem to fight over the smallest things? do you hate pain yet love it all at the same time? do you do stupid things that harm yourself just to get a small smile or laugh from someone whos crying? have you become the total oppisite of what you said youd be when you were younger? do you miss people so much you spend endless nights crying? do you love the rain? do you hate being cold but lover making snowforts and simpley lying out in the backyard as snowflakes fall on you? do you love laughing but almost everytime you do someone makes fun of your laugh? is there a fine line between what you look and sound like when your crying and laughing? are you afriad of showing your true self to people for what they may think? are you unsure of what the realy you is like? do you hide your emoitions just so people wont worry? do you remember what happiness is? do you miss the times when you actually loved yourself and honestly didnt care what people thought? do you think "i love you" more than you say it? do you answer people without saying and word and just thinking it all in your head? then feeling like a moron for just staring at someone for over 3 minutes in silence? when people ask you whats wrong do you scream at yourself in your head telling yourself just to fucking tell them everything, but all your mouth can seem to say is nothing? did you have open heary surgery because there was a hole in your heart that you were born with? are you self conscience about your scar from that surgery and people walking up to you and asking what happened? are you scared people will notice the scars on your arms wrists and legs? do you cry for no apparent reason? if all of these and more are true about you, then you just might be a clone, and now for all of you that have read this you may or may not know more about me, and if you knew it all, you know me all too well and really... if you know all of this already, then thats kinda pathetic, i am nothing to get worked up over, i dont deserve to have the friends i have, i dont deserve any of the love i get from people, everyone was just fine before they knew me, and they would be just fine without me, never forget that

its crazy but its true, i only want to be with you

HEY! its so me again, no its so someone else... although with my mind thats not to far from possible, anyways... WE SO HAVE THINGS TO DOWNLOAD MUSIC NOW!
^____________________________^ its my friend buuuttt... we have so many freaking things to play music on its not even funny -.-; mom hates it, i know how to work two of them, but mom uses one of them to download music onto her ipod anyways... i so cant wait for band to end... which is kinda odd because im not even in band, i want my friends back though, about the only one who even attempts to hang out with me anymore is trevor, although i did go to the mall with lana and kelly not too long ago, and we found travis some joey kid, casey and alex, that was fun.. but i was reminded of how much of an outcast i am, travis noticed that i always lagged behind the crowd, behind everyone, and he asked why, then lana said that she noticed that too, and that they felt bad because they felt they were leaving me out, and trevis even pushed me to the front of the crowd, and within seconds i was back at the back of the crowd, kinda sad... but i get really paranoid when walking infront of people...like at any given moment i could turn around and they could have all desserted me, it just freaks me out, especially with my fear of being abandoned and such i guess im just not good in big groups really... but atleast while i was at the mall with kelly and lana i got two hugs, both from travis, although... i always feel kinda odd going anywhere with kelly and lana, they have so many inside jokes and im left out of about all of them, not only that but while i was at the mall with them... i started getting really self conscience, anyways yesterday after school julie randomly asked me for a hug, which i found kinda odd because shes never asked me that before, then she got distracted by some other people, and i hugged her and scurried off, im still kinda odd about hugs though, not as much as i used to be, i used to hate hugs, much like half of my friends, but now i give hugs to about everyone, like jared XD cause trevor hurt him so i gave him a hug to make it all better XD everyone loves jared, even trevor... YOU KNOW IT TREVOR YOU LOVE HIM AND WANT TO MARRY HIM! or atleast hug him ^_^ hmm.. well i have no idea what to be for halloween... although im not sure if that matters anyways im done ^_^

Cat? Imma kitty-cat!

well since its about an hour before my time to sleep... its gonna be a short post XD and mostly about my thoughts... and hell im such a sucker for people playing with my hair XD i realized that today and... thats about all on my mind other than some other stuff im a sucker for but i wont bore you all with that ^^;;; just like heaven is a good movie...and ive notived that almost every time i get out of a movie im shaking alot o_O im not cold or anything, i start shaking as soon as i stand up, but tonight i was shaking the most i have in awhile, the trying to unravel the caution tape was really odd with unsteady hands XD hmm.. doomy doomy dooomm... cat... imma kitty cat..^^; im so happy right now... SHORTPOSTOMGBAILOVEYS!

songs i want/need:
"be my escape" by relient k
lyrics

I’ve given up, I’m giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last call that You mentioned is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I’m giving up I’m doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.

I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You

So were You


"sugar were going down" by fall out boy

Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(A notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(Notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it
[x2]

Down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down (down, down)
Down, down (down, down)
We're going down, down (down, down)
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

and lastly "stars" by switchfoot
oh and "dare you to move" by switch foot... but seeing as its almost my bed time i wont find the lyrics now XD

30 seconds of doom!

has anyone else noticed that my blog entries seem to be longer and more fequent than most of our friends? anyways, ive gone through all my messenger lists deleting people, so if yer one of the people i deleted, too bad not like you talk to me anyways, eh... i miss seth T_T i miss him alot... ah hell, i dont remember the username to my old blog... maybe it was joetheduck... ey i found it out whoo... now i know i posted something about seth in my drafts in there... umm... wow... that didnt help me at all all i have is "smvodicka (11/10/2004 4:20:30 AM): rain when did seths name change.....because we were playing around he was calling me the vampire and stuffs......" hah but theres this on 11-8-04 "well... today was un eventful, i was burnt in cfs, lana bit me a couple times in science, inwhich still shows, and after school my mom told me my aunts dog murphey died, so yep... im done now" now really... what day DIDNT i burn myself in CFS oh... the days when we were in sewing... thats when i stabbed myself with almost everything, gosh im so accident prone e_e; ...hmm... this is also in my drafts "I'm mentally four year old potential serial killer ecstasy-driven Londonish tomboy! and I'm gonna die saving the universe!" wheeeee.... ehhh... i miss seth still T_T i deleted him and now i feel bad for doign so but he hasnt been on for more than a year...i remember once i talked to him until... i think 4:30 am, and once i stayed up til i think... 6am with bryson XD man i miss my lappy top too, hmm... seth thought i was sexy, especially back when i said everything that had a w with a v sound instead, because im just that odd... hmm... so many memories
well... that was hours ago and im in a totally different mood, wheeeee lookie at a poem i found ^_^

Name: Anonymous
I used to cry
And I used to write
And I used to feel okay
But slowly the pen became not enough
To take away all of my pain

So I copied what I saw
I copied what I read
And I made a few friends
And I got lost in some moments
And I used to feel okay
But slowly all the miles became not enough
To take away all of my pain

So I copied what I saw
I copied what I read
And I took a few sips
And I emptied some bottles
And I used to feel okay
But slowly the drinks became not enough
To take away all of my pain

So I copied what I saw
I copied what I read
And I felt a few kisses
And I broke some hearts
And I used to feel okay
But slowly all the empty beds became not enough
To take away all of my pain

So I copied what I saw
I copied what I read
And I took a few drags
And I swallowed some pills
And I used to feel okay
But slowly the drugs became not enough
To take away all of my pain

So I copied what I saw
I copied what I read
And I bought a few knives
And I took some cuts
And slowly the pain became enough
To take away all of my tears

dont ya like it? i dooo... and there are some others that i dont like as much that reminded me offfffffff thiiisssss!

The 101 Best, Most Clever, and Most Disturbing Ways to Kill Yourself
CREATED AND PRESENTED BY:
~JULIE ELLISON AND TAYLOR JEWELL HENSLEY~
C 1999 Happy Days Inc.

1. Slit your wrists.
2. Drink cleaning supplies.
3. Put your dad's rifle in your mouth and shoot.
4. Cut yourself along several major arteries and slowly bleed to death.
5. Fill the bathtub up with hot water and get in. Go underwater & breathe until I say stop.
6. Give yourself a homemade tattoo with toxic silver pen.
7. Fill the bathtub up. Grab a toaster & plug it in. Get in the bathtub and bring the toaster with you. Push down the button & enjoy!
8. Boil several gallons of water on the stove and "accidentally" spill it all on yourself.
9. Bash your head in with a hammer.
10. Get an axe from the woodpile & split yourself in half.
11. Use your telekinetic powers to make the house fall apart.
12. Tease the elevator by not letting it close until it buzzes loudly. Stand in the door's way and let it close.
13. Break a mirror. Take two sharp pieces of the glass and shove them in your eyes, hard and deep.
14. Shove a Chef's knife up your butt.
15. Kill someone else and plead for death by lethal injection.
16. Break a bottle of wine on a table and shove it in your stomach.
17. Have your best friend run you over with a steamroller.
18. Turn on the iron until water dances on surface. Put it on several places on your body, keeping it in each place for at least 45 seconds.
19. Jump off a building, aiming carefully to impale yourself on a lamppost.
20. Drive a wooden stake in your heart.
21. Induce vomiting until you black out and slip into a coma. This coma should last for several months, in which time your family will certainly decide to pull the plug.
22. Put your pinky, as well as any other digits that will fit, into an electrical socket.
23. Purposely catch your clothing in the escalator at a local mall and fight off anyone who tries to help. Enjoy the ride!
24. Swallow vanilla bath beads.
25. Drop a lit match down your throat.
26. Eat three tubes of toothpaste - and I'm not talking about trial size.
27. Hang yourself in your closet with an electrical cord.
28. Unbend a coat hanger and slowly & carefully shove it up your nose.
29. Crash a car into a department store window displaying a nativity scene. Merry Christmas!
30. Lodge your head in the toilet bowl and flush mercilessly.
31. Get your hand caught in the CD-ROM drive and attempt to cut it off with a dull pocketknife.
32. Make a pipe bomb and blow up your house with you inside, of course.
33. Stuff toilet paper down your throat until you choke.
34. Eat baby powder.
35. Eat deodorant.
36. Take a walk in the ghetto with a giant boom box blasting Vanilla Ice.
37. Anger a cannibal.
38. Drown yourself in a spoon full of water.
39. Get a friend to throw a few CDs Frisbee-style at your stomach and throat.
40. Swallow fifteen razor blades.
41. Drink 2 bottles of cough syrup.
42. Lock yourself in a room. After you've eaten the carpet and peeled the paint off the walls for a snack, you'll eventually starve.
43. Swerve into the left rear wheels of a moving transfer truckƒon your bike.
44. Break a battery open and pour it into a glass of Dr. Pepper and drink it.
45. Live on top of an active volcano.
46. Piss off O.J. Simpson.
47. Eat a string of Christmas Tree lights.
48. Give yourself a million paper cutsƒif the paper cuts don't kill you, the counting will.
49. Nail yourself to the side of a federal building.
50. Scalp yourself. If you're not dead, make photocopies.
51. Cry your eyes outƒliterally.
52. Burn plastic and breathe in the toxic fumes.
53. Charge into a big screen TV.
54. Lag behind when participating in a Bull Run.
55. Walk around in downtown New Jersey with a Target store shirt on.
56. Smash your head in the safe door again & again & againƒ
57. Spray a bottle of air freshener up your nose and inhale at the same time.
58. Eat a dog with heartworms raw.
59. Strategically place yourself in the middle of a very busy intersection at rush hour during daylight savings time while wearing a tight, black jumpsuit, being ever so careful to hit every car you see.
60. Go to a horse race and jump out in front of the leading horse screaming at the top of your lungs, "I'm a pony! I'm a pony!"
61. Make like Sonny Bono when on a skiing trip.
62. Get run over by an ostrich.
63. Get naked and lay on 12 150-watt light bulbs, then flip the switch.
64. Cut off all your fingers then write a ten-page report on "Polyester versus Cotton Fabrics" with the stubs.
65. Get pregnant and then have your mother perform an emergency C-section just for kicks.
66. Jam a toothbrush in your bellybutton.
67. Brush your teeth with a MACH 3 razor.
68. Drill a hole in your head.
69. Find a huge pine tree. Cut it down with a chainsaw while standing in its falling path.
70. Skinny-dip in a shark tank with your favorite rubber ducky.
71. Drive with a rabid monkey in your back seat.
72. Play NASCAR with an unsuspecting fellow driver.
73. Jump off the balcony in a school auditorium.
74. Smash your head through a wooden door, making sure you get plenty of splinters.
75. Jump in the way of a moving subway train.
76. Drip hot wax all over your body, then light matches and light your feet on fire. The flames will rise and consume your entire body, but before you do that, make sure you drip hot wax in your eyes & let it harden.
77. Do back flips in a mosh pit.
78. Attempt to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
79. Jump out of a moving bus window and do shoulder-rolls across the highway until you get run over.
80. Always use the wrong tool for the job.
81. Float on your back in the Anaconda River and wait.
82. Get in a pool with piranhas and have them tear off your flesh bit by bit, eating you alive.
83. Wedge yourself in the doggy-entrance on the garage door and have a friend press the "garage open" button.
84. Use a chain saw to cut out pictures.
85. Shove a TV antenna in one ear & out the other.
86. Strangle yourself with your best necklace.
87. Bite your arm and suck & swallow the blood. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. 88. Perform self-quadruple bypass surgery.
89. Take out your own spleen, cook it for 2 minutes in the microwave, and eat it.
90. Cut yourself up and feed as much of you as possible to the family dog.
91. Cut off your limbs and put them in the crock-pot for your family to find. If your crock-pot isn't large enough, put extra flesh in the freezer for later.
92. Swan dive into the 10-gallon fish tank.
93. Give yourself a buzz-cut with bush shears.
94. Gather up a group of friends to push all your pressure points at the same time.
95. Make believe you're in a psychiatric facility with padded walls when you're really in a steel cage.
96. Straddle a neon sign. Don't let go, no matter what people tell you.
97. Go swimming in an oil spill. Don't forget to open your eyes under water!
98. Smash your porcelain "Precious Moments" dolls in the middle of the street and consume the large pieces left over.
99. Roll around nude in the street at noon.
100. Drink paint. Eat the stick you stirred the paint with. Drink paint thinner to wash it down.
101. Take all the pills in your medicine cabinet, along with at least one shot of every alcoholic beverage known to man and take a little nap. Don't bother waking up.

7, 11, 17, 19, 21, 23, 27, 29, 36, 37, 39, 40, 48, 52, 59, 60, 64, 72 (especially with how i play nascar XD), 77, 78, 80, 83, 86, 94, 95, and 101 are my favorites, and some of then i would actually want to try X3

ANYWAYS IM SO FREAKING DONE!

TGIF

yup, its friday... so thank... gremlins its friday? since im not one that believes in god, which reminds me, many people have been tring to convert me at school, like the other day in science sean (some kid who is in some of my classes, sits next to me in science and has a locker near mine) asked me if i believed in god, i shruged and said i didnt know, he asked what religion i was and i said i didnt have one, so he started asking me about how i thought humans came to earth, so i asked if he was tring to convert me, and he said maybe and that was then end of that, and amber has been tring to convert me also, although i guess to convert id probably need a religion to begin with, and most people find it odd when i say i dont really know what i believe in, our family is suppose to be either cathlic or christan i cant remember, but really non of us really act as we believe in god, infact my sister is an atheist, i mean we mostly go with the flow... like when we have dinner with other familys, especially when im spending the night at the clarks and i say a prayer along with them, course im always pretty polite when eatting dinner with other families, i think the clarks are the only family i actually eat ENOUGH at, like... everywhere else i dont really put much on my plate, and i never talk much and im not really sure why, yet again... cept for the clarks house, i contribute to the conversation alot, which gets me another thought, why does it take me SO freaking long to get comfortable around people? i mean really, i seriously SUCK at feeling laid back with people, im still not totally comfortable with more than half of my friends! now is that not sad or what? anyways... off to an actual topic, if it can be called that, im back to my state of mind that thinks im just a nuesence, just a thing thats there, and more or less, it wouldnt be such a bad thing if i wasnt here anymore, infact, ive even had some thoughts of runnging away... course i know i cant do that, in every way possible, i cant sneak out at night... believe me ive thought about it, but chances are i wouldnt get very far, probably the farthest id go would be trevors house then id break down, and even if i could! i wouldnt be gone very long... id be so freaking miserable without all my friends that it would drag me back, and off of that topic... i think ii may start bringing my digital camera to school again, sarah wants pictures, and which gets me off on something else, WHY CANT EVERYTHING STAY THE SAME! i miss being such good friends with kyle and sarah, i miss being friends with stacy and erin, i miss being good friends with fuji and missy, i miss garret and ivy, i miss being best friends with mary, i miss those days when i was oh so innocent, i miss being the sweet innocent angie, i miss caring! i miss having one of my friends spend the night every weekend, i miss so many things... have you ever REALLY wanted to hug someone but didnt? ANYWAYS OMGTREVORSONLINENOWBAI!

ITS KICK TAG TIME!

well not much is new with me... but for those of you following along on my whole issues with daniel clark story heres a freaking update, whoooo okie yesterday when i stayed after school, mom cassie and daniel had a chat while in the car, hmm... now all of you that know daniel, you may know that he seems to be the perfect child... WHEN AROUND ADULTS! everywhere else hes a little devil, anyways, he made ME seem like the bad person when he was in the car with mom and cassie, mom asked what was up with our not getting along, he said that i said i hated him, now honestly, i have NEVER said those word to him, or even behind his back, i may say hes a bit annoying but really, if you know me, and if yer reading this then you probably do, the ONLY time i say i hate ANYONE is when im joking around with very close friends who can tell when im kidding, or when i get mad at CASSIE no other time seriously.. AND thats no all, he said i STALK HIM, now yes i do admit i stalk people, but not daniel, and hell i TELL the people when im stalking them, well unless its trevor, then most of the time i pop out of no where and just follow him, and really most of the time i AM following trevor i am not freaking stalking daniel, hell, i dont care where the hell i am, even though i seem to see him alot during the day im not following him, im doing MY own thing you know? like when you do your own thing and this one person you end up running into about 16 times, thats like me and daniel, well wether that or hes stalking ME anyways... and LASTLY! the only thing he said that was true, i keep sitting by him in geography, yes i do, but really mostly all i want to do is sit near jared, i dont care where the hell daniel sits, and today i sat as far as humanly possible away from daniel with still being at a desk, in the same classroom and not on joes lap, and with me doing that jared asked why i was sitting over there instead of where i had been sitting for the past couple weeks, and i told him... anyways MY DAY! woke up all early, but atleast i wasnt freezing even though i had taken a shower last night and my hair was all freezing wet, but that was only because i made my bed last night and i had five blankets over me XD and i got all ready and such, then mom and i went to go pick up trevor, we came back and i made some breakfast and we watched cartoons, much like we did last thusrsday morning.. got to school, with no poking ^_^ arent you proud of me? got to school and i wandered off to my locker, then benzies room, then off to find amber, got my sketch book back, glomped trevor twice... so 48 left to goooooo XD science... i was pretty quiet... cause i was upset ^^; geography well... i was upset then too and i sat across the room from daniel as i said, lunch um... i was kind upset at first, and cold, so freaking cold, then we started messing around and we got involved in a game of kick tag that me and trevor started XD i was laughing so hard that it felt like someone hadkicked me in the ribs after i had fallen backwards off a swing and gotten the wind knocked out of me, but i didnt really care, i still went about kicking XD mitch was the hardest, he jumped onto benches and locked us out, french i was really really hyper... but calmed down by then end of the period enough to get un-okie again, and um... yea im just not in the mood for this anymore... SO HERES A FREAKING SONG
SILENT HILL 4 ~ Room of Angel lyrics

-----------------------------

You lie silent there before me
your tears they mean nothing to me
the wind howling at the window
the love you never gave
I give to you

Really don't deserve it
but now there's nothing you can do
so sleep in your only memory of me
my dearest mother

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
goodbye
goodbye

So insignificant
sleeping dormant deep inside of me
are you hiding away lost
under the sewers
maybe flying high in the clouds
perhaps you're happy without me
so many seeds have been sown in the field
and who could sprout up so blessedly
if I had died
I would have never felt sad at all
you will not hear me say I'm sorry
where is the light
wonder if it's weeping somewhere

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
it was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry oh well
here's a lullaby to close your eyes good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye
good-bye