Rawr, demon angie

so a couple weeks i burned a bunch of notes from tv (ticket stubs are so fun to burn, they're just so colorful) and thats the happy little bunny tin mariah and i burned the notes in, and floor where i spilt some of the ashes




and thats my trash after dumping out half the ashes, alot of ashes can fit in that tin man

and now for things from today!
i went to my aunts house, today is her birthday, yesterday was ashleys birthday and we celebrated her 21st birthday, i got humped, tickled, and claimed by justin, and i kicked some random guy really hard ^_^
anyways
pictures from today =D

thats foster and riley, they were both looking at the camera then something distracted them

mom took the picture, me petting riley

me hugging riley

mom and ducky

me and riley again, i look like a DEMON!

I CAN SEE EACH ANNOYING LITTLE ROCK!

so cassie and i got our new glasses today, hers were long overdue and she got to experience "the bumps" again, for all you people that remember first getting your glasses, you know what this is, she kept yelling about being able to see individual blades of grass, and leaves, and rocks, and i kept saying the frames on mine arent as big as last time, and for all you who know me, i wear my glasses farther down on my nose than most people, so it makes a big difference
and i got a skeleton from biglots =D he goes in my room, now to think of a name that isnt the gernaric "bones" because i am not naming a skeleton in my room after a puppet i used to have nightmares about, just no
oh
and yesterday i looked emo
i had emo hair, yes i did


but you know what
i hate my face and its need to always have zits, and ive tried numurous products to help said problem, and now mom has bought me pills, bad part was she bought them for me when i was PMSing and i took it very offencively, i dont want to take pills anyways, especially ones they want me to chew
but anyways, that was justins hat, i hung out with him most of the day yesterday and it was magical, not really but it was fun, and i got food and faygo, orange faygo, but by the end of the day i wasnt in the best mood, i dont know why, but i got really irritable and well, it pretty much showed, especially when i started crying while on the phone with kyle, for what reason? i still dont know, all he noticed was i was being super quiet, and thats good, i dont like people knowing im crying while im crying, later yea sure whatever i can laugh about it, but while im crying i feel bad for putting them through that
anyways, imma go put contacts in, water the flowers and junk in the backyard, then clean my room, because i need to find a place to put the skeleton
oh
and since we have batteries for the camera now, im going to take pictures of skeleton, my shoes, and other random things, so expect pictureage ^_^
ohyea...
so the other day was registration, so far i dont think any of my friend have the same classes as me e_e but heres the shedual
1st biology-Dewey
2nd off
seminar- campbell
3rd geometry- henningsen
4th american history- starman
5th french 301- henningson
6th photography- sopcisak
7th english- boston
...and does anyone know about these black and gold days?...
oh... and look at how much ive changed

last year and this years id, mom said i could have ran away and no one would have been able to find me

LATER

right shoe

left shoe

FAYGO! ^_^

....
if you cant tell im bored and going through pictures



that was my backyard during the totally random hail storm a month ago or so

that big pile of dirt in the last picture turned into this over the summer

ducky
okay i think im done for awhile ._.

How do you classify an Angie?

most people go on searchs for themself, finding the real them and all that jazz, i honestly do not know the real me, im inconsistant but there are some things i do know:
im still just a kid at heart
-i have more fun with my baby cousins toys than they do
-i like to color with crayons
-ill play just about any pretend, or childhood game you can think of, except tag, i never liked it and never will
-i still enjoy kid movies, disney movies, pixar movies, hell there are some od those movies i want to see now
i will drop anything im doing for a friend in need
i would honestly take a bullet for anyone without a second thought
i try to make everyone happy
im a doormat and it worries some of my friends
i get attached to people easily
i believe everyone has good in them
i give people the benifit of the doubt
i do have low self esteem, but past my looks, i do like my personality
ive never been good at sports no matter how hard i try
i get easily distracted by shiney things
i love all of my friends and try to make them know that
i trust people too easily
i dont always know whats best for me but i try to follow my heart
i dont hate people until the they give me a reason too
i will stand up for my friend even if im left with bruises
im shy and dont talk much unless im comfortable
i often have no idea how i feel
if i werent so shy i would have probably made friends with everyone at school by now
i hate losing touch with my friends
i still regret not keeping in touch with ivy and garret
its hard for me to say no to anyone
when i have money i loan it out fast
i love hugs but im normally too shy to hug someone
ive never won first place
when there are awkward silences im normally yelling at myself in my head to start saying something
ive never really been apart of the crowd
im a follower
i think too much
i cannot figure out a label for myself
i have several groups of friends, none of which i totally fit in with
i like being pale
without my jewery i get really self conscience
id rather be dirt poor and have friends then be rich and lonely
i miss my long hair
i sing my heart out when im alone
i dance horribly
i like to skip
i feel paranoid when im wearing white
i hate greenbeans
i never think im a good enough girlfriend
i make who ever im dating know that, and assure them theyll find someone better
i hate dresses and skirts
ive never been good with touching my eyes or putting in eyedrops
i hate mint, cinnomin, speermint, etc
i dont like mountain dew out of a can
i love caremel
sometimes i wish i were more of a girly girl
the only makeup i wear is eyeliner and blush
i mostly wear black because thats what im comfortable in
my sister was convinced id turn out to be a cheerleader
ive only been out of the state once and that was to wyoming
i dont have a best friend
i always blame myself for things that happen

*will probably continue list later*

i am a myspace whore
im a photographer
im paranoid
im a virgin and plan to be so for awhile
i like to go to the mall just to loiter
i procrastinate
im a horrible cleaner
im a pack rat
i remember small insignificant things
im observant
i love when people play with my hair
im a drawer
im a juggalette
im a cat lover
i love listening to music
i like going on walks with my friends
i like baggy clothes
i can almost never be found without my hoodie
i love food
i like to escape the world through sleep
i wear too much eyeliner and thats how i like it
i love to laugh and make others laugh
i will do silly things and inadvertanly hurt myself to make others smile
im a shoulder to cry on
i love the taste of meat too much to be a vegitarian
i sing in the shower
i dont like being the center of attention but i dont like being neglected either
i love night and the dark

might add more later

SO, as ive been reminded by my friends, i need to stop obsessing over small problems, and imma try to be much happier ^_^ and today IGOTSCONTACTS!
whosh
and while cassie, mom and i were in the waitting room i sat on cassies lap and mom took a picture, whiel cssie ws getting her eye exam and we kept saying random letters to mess her up, i got her phone and emailed some of her pictures to myself, SO here we go!

so thats me sitting on cassies lap, we were cute until we decided to hug eachother really hard and hurt each other

this is a long time ago, when kathys kids were here, its all blurring and junk but LOOKY IM IN A SKIRT and fishnet stockings

that was er... before the halloween dance, when i was getting all dressed up, and my car ears werent broken

thats samantha and andrew, my cousins playing dress up
YAY FOR PICTURES ON A CAMERAPHONE

Maybe I am just a sucky girlfriend, friend, and person in general.

so the other day i found out exactly why trevor drumped me, i wasnt pulling my weight in the relationship or something and it felt like i was using him, something like that, and since i found that out i havent stopped thinking about it, maybe hes right, maybe i wasnt pulling my weight, maybe he was over reacting, maybe that was just a cover-up, and the more i think about, the more i try talking to people about it, the more confused i get, maybe i am just a sucky girlfriend, maybe im just a horrible friend, and maybe im just not worthy of being alive, i never seem to be good enough, i always seem to screw up, when i get upset people get pissed off at me, i never get to talk to my friends anymore, least any of them that live here, and the only people that do talk to me anymore are tawni, kyle, liz, patrick and danny, everyone else is too busy for me anymore
im really starting to wonder if life is worth living, all i seem to cause is pain, people who shouldnt care for me do, and people who should hate me dont, my world is upsidedown and inside out and no one seems to care, no one seems to care enough, maybe im over reacting, but i think the world would be better off without me

Rebound girl

so instead of a regular post, heres a song one of my friends wrote:
Im known as,

Little Miss Rebound

Standing by the side ground

Waiting for the car to

Run them over now

Cause Im not first place

In this little game called love



So Im just little miss rebound

Standing on the side ground

Waiting for the car to

Run them over now

Cause Im not first place

In this little game called love



And when your little miss rebound

Standing on the side ground

Waiting for the chance to

Bowl them over with

Your tenderness you realize

It isnt what they want



Youre just their

Little Miss Rebound

Standing by the side ground

Taking their hand when

Its convenient

Cause youre not the girl

They wish you were in the end.



Thats why Im

Little Miss Rebound

Stamding by the side ground

Waiting for that Car to

Run them over now

Since Im not first place

In this little game called love



But when youre

Little Miss Rebound

Standing on the side ground

Watching all the couples smile

With out a sound

You want it more then ever

Need it but youll never

Get what they have

Being

Little Miss Rebound

Sits you on that side ground

Excludes you like a child

From their existence

Reaching out but never

Grasping to that hand

That pulls so far away



So its just

Little Miss Rebound

Standing on the Side ground

Watching as the Car starts

To run them over

Pulling back away

Wishing they would stay

But not letting them win

In this game called love.



Little Miss Rebound

Standing on the side ground

Waiting for the car to

Run you over now

Cause its just a game

Nothings quite the same

In this little game called love...

It's called a blowjob because it blows up in your face!

that quote, will be explained later on in this post
anyways, so last night mariah spent the night, and tawni called, kyles girlfriend, and she was apart of the ritual of burning trevors notes ^_^ whoooo!
it was actually really fun, i burnt myself alot though, and i ended up crying because all the smoke burned my eyes, and we got through almost all the notes, plsu there was tons of ash all over my bed, we tried to keep the fire contained in a bunny tin, which didnt work all that well, we almost set my bedsheet and my pillows on fire, later that night after fighting with my DVD player we watched hostel, and i was so paranoid and we kept yelling at the tv
good times... good times
then we went back to my room and talked for awhile then went to sleep, and she tried waking me up at nine but i refused, then we got up at 20 till noon, and got ready then brandi called, we picked her up and waited for danni, and put sunscreen on ^_^ yay for not being burnt, we made the usual run by the correctional facielity, and "owowwww"ed at them ^_^ and flipped off some jeremy guy that danni knew, and brandi was so freaking hyper around then, just wow, cassie keeps caling her crackhead, and whenever cassie would introduce us to people itd be crackhead (brandi) almost crackhead (mariah) and freak (me) and so the first thing we did was water park o0o0o0o
since lines were super long for all the water rides we went into the kiddie pirate pool thing to go down those slides, but when we got in like this kid had this hose spraying all of us to the point we couldnt open our eyes to see, we ran off to a safe place, then came back when the kid moved, but then were was a different kid, i think they just liked the screaming we did, because they kept spraying us, after awhile dannis starting to mumble threats of smacking the kid, cassie encouraged it, then after alittle while she grabbed the hose from the kid and sprayed him in the face, then the kid retreated ^_^ after we went down the slides we went to the wave pool, which was brandis first time (so was the piratey slides) and so she was freaking out because she almost drown in a wave pool at waterworld, so she clung to cassie the entire time, danni and i went by the rope and omg those stupid freaking kids around me, i got elbowed, kicked, stepped on, pushed into the rope (which was alot more painful than it sounds) and had some kid put their hand down my top and bottom of my swimming suit e_e i was none too happy about any of it but i refused to give up my spot by the rope, so that was fun, eventually we had to get out, then we put on pants and went out of the park for burger king!

ah the adventures of burgerking
so for most of the meal no one talked because we were all shoving our faces with mass foodage, which was kinda amusing, cassie gave some money to brandi and i to get something because we had no moneys, *sad face* anyways, i ended up ordering this like... double whopper or something i dont know, double something, it had bacon ^_^ anyways she got a chicken sandwich thing and we ordered one drink to share, we ended up with 2 drinks. i got a tripple thing with bacon, eorkjrgbekrjb the bacon ^______^ and fries, so that was happy, cassie and danni guessed they thought i was too skinny, at which time i realized i was the skinniest person of the group and suddenly had a self esteem boost, anyways all of a sudden brandi asked why its called a blowjob when there is no blowing involed, danni started laughing and said "yes, never blow, NEVER" then brandi repeated the question, and i come up with some smart answer "its called a blow job because it blows up in your face!" there was much laughing, thendanni asks how i of all people would know that, and my reply? "because i have cassie as a sister!", now dont misinterpret that, as far as i know cassies never given a guy a blowjob, or anything like that but i did learn most of what i know about sex and junk from cassie
and then we ate some more,brandi tried to teach us all how to whistle with fingers in our mouths and junk, and we all looked lame trying so hard to whistle, i finished off everyones food ._. and then brandi started dancing and we all decided to see if we could jump up and touch our toes, and the only one who could do it was danni, not brandi the cheerleader
then we drove around downtown dever and screamed at people and whistled, and brandi and i were doing the most screaming, it was amusing ^_^, we got back to elitches and they got mad at me for not having my pass on me, even though my hand was stamped e_e ebil people, anyways we got back in and rode rides brandi went on the tower of doom for the first time and the operaters scared the hell out of her telling her the harnesses sometimes come loose and junk e_e, and brandi got the number of the guy operating the tilt-a-hurl, i tried making a new friend on the mind eraser because we had an odd number of people and i sat alone, so i just said that i brought my invisible friend lane along ^_^
we found shannon (my brooother) and we talked to him for a bunch, and found out the carnival de faugo isnt there anymore T_T
and i got in a fight with cassie after the minderaser and i walked off to ride shake, rattle and roll with who ever followed, which happened to be mariah, and her and i went on some rides and there was this really cute guy behind us while we were in line for the boomerang... ANYWAYS after the boomerang we caught back up with brandi, danni and cassie, and we left, and we got free full throtles which i chugged and got all hyper, which induced more screaming at people while driving in downtown denver again, and tawni called while we were driving around, and randomly id scream "OW OWWWW!" ... i never got the chance to call her back T_T
and we went to some peoples houses, one girl flicked a cirgette at brandi while it was lit, and she bot burned as it went down her shirt
then we got home, mariah was taken hope, brandi and i talked, and now here i am, brandis sleeping next to me right now

A situation worthy of being a soap-oprah

okay, so for those of you that dont remember i think im inlove with this guy named kyle right? right, and we broke up like... little over a month ago, then he got a girlfriend who lives closer to him, now if that wasnt bad enough, he still has feelings for me, and more feelings for me than his girlfriend, her name is tawni by the way, i knew OF her, but never really talked to her, kyle discouraged it, well then today i go on myspace and i have messages, big deal because no one ever messages me, and look at who it is, tawni, now i really didnt expect that to ever happen, i didnt even think she knew who i was, well it turns out kyle had mentioned me and she wanted to talk to me, we had messages back and forth on myspace for like... almost three hours, and now were friends, now this is a sticky situation, im friends with the boy-i-love's girlfriend, who was planning to break up with her for me, i dont know what im suppose to do, i think shes better for him than i am, i think hes an idiot for having feelings for me in the first place, and shes such a sweet girl, its just ugh... i dont want her all hurt, but it wouldnt be fair for kyle to stay with someone he doesnt exactly like anymore, this is just so confusing, and if there is something for me to do i have no idea what it is...damnit im in deep

1149 miles, 20 hour drive, a million and one tears

so, today i got to see some of my friends, stupid me forgot jesus's birthday present at home... stupid angie *smacks own head* so anyways i was woken up this morning by my sister... in a non too happy way, and even worse i had been up late the night before, crying and whatnot for a couple hours, plus kyle called, he got to hear me cry over the phone, i felt horrible about that, its bad enough letting people see me cry, but over the phone, all they can do is listen and try to talk to me instead of what i need most, a hug, but what i was crying over is solved now, everythings good again, and im feeling better, mostly because of kyle, anyways cassie woke me up, she came in my room, blinded me, hit me with one of my pillows, till i screamed "cassie go away" then she asked why i was so cranky "oh i dont know, the way i was just woken up!?" she then left my light on and skipped off, i got mad, screamed at her, slammed my door, and watched tv with the lights off, then cassie came in, we debated what we should have for lunch, ended up with nothing, i modeled my new bathing suit for mom dad and cassie, cassie said it looked cute, and dad told me to take it back, its too small, he was kidding though

*looks horrible*
anyways, so thats my new swimming suit, its so awsome, i really dont do it any justice
and then jared called, while i was still in my swimming suit, and asked me to go bowling! yay! seeing friends! which happened to be some of the people i missed seeing the most, jared and jesus, yay! jared picked me up, and then i directed us to jesus's house, because im the best and know the way to almost all my friends houses, even thought sometimes i get alittle lost, from there we went to brunswick, and jareds mom paid for all of us, i love jareds mom so much, shes just so nice, and shes left handed! yay! anyways bowling was much fun, i totally pwned jesus, first game i won, second game jared won and third game i won again, there were alot of laughs, and jared dropping the ball while in the back swing, and it rolling straight at jesus, all because jesus made him laugh, we also snacked, and i did alot of dancing ^_^ probably why some of the guys next to us kept looking over at me ._. after bowling we waiting for jareds mom to pick us up, we looked at video games and vending machines, and finally just sat and waited, i watched the music videos while jesus and jared talked, jared yelled at me for being all quiet like, then jareds mom came, dropped jesus off, then me, i came home and ate dinner, went on the computer, stuff like that...
its sucky to know the only one that seems to understand me lives 20 hours away.. 1149 miles.. one of the people who could make me happiest.. gosh this is so unfair

Well your legs are stupid.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Maybe we should all just take a break

so the other day i went to the park with ellie, we invited jared to come and after waiting for him for like an hour and a half ellie calls him and he says he doesnt want to get caught in the rain, FTW, i havent seen jared for like a month and a half, freaking hell, im starting to think everyone hates me for the pure lack of human interaction ive had with me so-called friends this summer, im in a pissed off/depressed mood here and im venting so STFU
another totally mest up thing, joe, hes all fucking depressed because he doesnt have a girlfriend eeeeeehhh, and im already mad at him for thinking so poorly about my friend junes appearence, yea he liked her fine until he saw what she looked like, how more fucking shallow can you get, and then today he has the NERVE to say to me "i better get undepressed soon, going out with june is starting to sound like a good idea" one more fucking remark like that and im kicking him in the balls, and most likly while hes on the ground im going to keep kicking him, no one fucking says shit like that about my friends and doesnt get their ass kicked, at the very least he could have the common sense to not say that stuff to ME
and another thing, you know whats worse than realizing youve drifted away from someone? realizing it AS its happening, knowing my luck bryson will read this too, anyways, so bryson hasnt been on much, for this reason or that, all of which is not his fault, but its fucking sad when all we have to talk about is whats been going on lately, which for me is basicly nothing BECAUSE NO ONE WILL FUCKING HANG OUT WITH ME, im almost starting to wish i could have a job just so i could be away from my family for awhile, whats one worse, i cant even hang out with bryson, and he decides he needs to take a fucking break from everything, as if i talked to him enough as it is, were growing apart and it fucking hurts because i cant do anything about it, its not like most of the other people i grow apart from, he doesnt hate me like some people do, he doesnt live around here so i cant just give him a phone call, or drop by his house
another thing, if i dont get some serious time away from my sister im going to run away, we keep getting into fights, and im always the one who stays mad, and the one whos left with the most injuries
I NEED A FUCKING BREAK FROM LIFE, its not like theres anything going on, but people seem to think its a daily event: who can make angie cry first, well you know what? you all have fucking broken my spirit, are you happy with yourselves now?

$360 for a cake!?

SO, today i was about to hang out with ellie, but mom decided we didnt have enough time, besides we went to a spagehti dinner thing at some bingo hall, which actually was the highlight of my day, so this fundraiser was for my moms friends daughters fiancé, who has cancer, but it was a fun night, when we got there i saw a kid who was in a couple of my classes at school, science and government, plus he was in the same room for CSAP one of the times, hes pretty cute too ^_^ but i told my parents there was a kid there from my school so my dad was like "well lets call him over!" of course i didnt want that to happen, mostly because i didnt think he knew my name or anything, after awhile i see him walking around and a couple of times i saw him look over at me, couple minutes later he comes over:
him: did you go to gm last year?
me: yup
him: i knew i saw you from somewhere!
me: haha yup, so whats up?
then some more small talk and junk, then he left, like ten minutes later he comes back and hands me a piece of paper, and tells me if i ever get bored to call him, then my mom and dad were like "wow hes brave, hitting on you infront of your parents" and "well i guess he knows your name" and other teasing things, and i couldnt stop smiling X3 then we bid on cakes and stuff and mom was like "well where did your little friend go" and stuff like that, i was like wow, i got a guys number, and it was right around the time i was thinking "damn i should have given him my number" XD WOW SO
we bet on cakes, and desserty treats, raised over 1000 on those alone, plus the 20 bucks for every plate of dinner people had
SO YAY
i feel happy, last night i felt crappy and wanted to kill myself but im good now =D

Where the fuck is Waldo?

DarkMiceOfDoom: you try finding a non stoner in my school
DarkMiceOfDoom: its like wheres waldo
r o t h a k s a: lol
r o t h a k s a: i like that game
r o t h a k s a: everyone looks the same
r o t h a k s a: and tehn ITS WALDO!!!!!!!!
r o t h a k s a: hahahaha
DarkMiceOfDoom: then you go off to show someone and you loose him again
r o t h a k s a: i know right!
r o t h a k s a: hahaha
r o t h a k s a: im like MOM LOOOK!
DarkMiceOfDoom: "damnit i swear the fucker moved... he was right there"
r o t h a k s a: ...goddamnit mom look what you amde me do
DarkMiceOfDoom: haha

Who would ever think Angie would get a girlfriend?

okay so yesterday i went to the mall with amber and kelsey, we walked around alot, got a soda, listened to music and made eachother try on skimpy clothes, kelsea ended up in a blue holter top and a blue and white skirt which you could see her underwear through XD, amber in a short black skirt and a black see through corset, and me with a red and black corset and a red skirt which i was so paranoid wearing because it was so short, we started asking people what theyd do for a klondike bar, one guy said hed kill someone, the rest said i dont know except for one guy who said "what would you do to SUCK MY COCK" then amber went off to cuss him out as they drove off, i ended up staying the night at ambers, we went across the street to get some weed, and they didnt have any which pissed off amber and we walked down to the king soopers so amber could have some cigarettes, i figured itd be okay since i thought my sister had gotten off work by then, i was wrong, we sat by the doors and like within 10 minutes my sister walks out the door and amber and i are freaking ut as kelseys wondering why the hell were running inside the kingsoopers, luckyly she didnt look back when she left and we werent caught, we layed in the grass at some building behind the kingsoopers, amber used me as a pillow and we talked about guys, i talked about kyle and how he almost drove me to kill myself, amber got depressed, and demanded as to why i hadnt called her when i was that depressed, she said she would have killed herself after me, and she said that now everyday at 2:30 shes going to call me and make sure im alive, i dont think shell keep up with it but it still made me smile, we talked about how guys suck and only screw us over, then i told her that i had been thinking of asking out some of my friends that are girls, and i told her i had thought about asking her out, "really?" "yea" "if you asked me out i would so go out with you" "seriously?" "yea" "wanna be my girlfriend?" "seriously?" "yea!" "YEA!" "amber i love you!", so now i have a girlfriend ^_^ and then we lit bugs on fire, later we went back to get some weed at around 10:30 at night, amber had kelsey and i wait on the stairs, and later amber half heartedly tryed to get us to go inside and toke it up with the other guys, she knew i felt uncomfortable so she didnt push it, amber went back and told them we were going home after she got the weed, two of the guys ended up coming down and tried to get us to go up there with them, kelsey told me to follow her and i did, they offered us alcohol, kelsey drank some and i kept quiet, one of the guys was interested in learning about us, he asked questions like how old are you and things like that, after alittle bit kelsey went into the backroom to find amber, she left me alone and i felt like i was going to be sick, they asked if i had ever smoked before and i shook my head no, he asked if i had done anything, mushrooms or acid or any of that, i shook my head no again, then kelsey appeared in the doorway and waved me over, when i got into the room i immediatly went to kelsey and ambers side, they both seemed alot more comfortable here than me, there were joints being passed around and amber led us back out into the living room, i whispered to amber that i wasnt comfortable and i wanted to go back to her house, she nodded and told them that we should be going, i was up at the door by then, then amber and kelsey had a couple more drinks of the rum, "just one more" one of the guys looked at me and laughed "youre going to be here for another 20 minutes at this rate, come on and grab a seat", i still stayed at the door, i gave amber a look and she started to get up then sat back down and took another drink, and kelsey took another one too, then when they finally got up the guy who had been asking us questions shook our hands, and told us his name was chris, then i was out the door and kelsey and amber followed, amber apologized over and over for making me go there, and we held hands as we walked back to amber house, we devided the weed and the rest is kinda a blur, i remember laughing and kelsey trying to burn me with the pipe, and going outside and saying "oh my god look at the grass, its so fucking long, i mean... AMBER LOOK AT IT" but rest assured i didnt smoke any weed, later kelsey kept asking if i was high or not, and i kept saying i didnt know, then started laughing again, i got stoned for the first time in my life, and i didnt even smoke the weed, second hand smoke, they never thought id get that high off of it, i couldnt sleep at all that night, we watched a movie downstairs and amber went to her room half way through it, when it was over kelsey had passed out and i went up to ambers room, she smoked some more weed, and smoked some cigarettes, and we just layed on her bed and talked till about 6 am, then amber and i went downstairs, she woke up kelsey and amber went upstairs and slept in her room, i fell asleep on the couch not to long after, i got about 6 hours of sleep, and somehow a talk about feet evoled into a conversation about what happens when people die, later my mom picked me up, and took kelsey home, we got carls jr and i ate SO much, who knew a night at the mall would evolve into a night like that?
i feel so... i dont know... im missing so much of last night i dont remember much of what i did, im not sure if i feel guilty, if i feel happy, being stoned... and having no thoughts in my head... just felt SO good, ive never just had ntohing to think about, it felt so weird, i forgot all of my problems, i felt... happy, but like... i didnt feel like i was me at all, when i talked it was like i heard myself say it but i also heard an echo as if i was someone else listening to me at the same time, time went by slow yet so fast...i think some of my friends are going to hate me

I'm the bad shoulder and you're the good shoulder!

SO! brandi, my good ol' friend is over spending the night, we decided to go out on a walk, i wore my devil cape and she wore my halo and fairy wings, when we got home we took pictures and you all get to see! SO HERE WE GO!

some editing, cropping and getting rid of stuff
DEMONEYES
"whassup!"
"angie! act like youre eatting the mushroom!" "OKAY!"

i look shorter than her but im actually taller by like 2 inches XD


i love this picture
"angie! look im in jail!" "what the hell! XD"



"angie what are you doing" "nuffing" "are you eatting your cape?" "nof"
we were recreating the time brandi ran into that pole while she ran through the sprinker, she bent it pretty bad

and bending it back, although im the one that bent it back, she was trying to make it straighter though

"brandi! spin!" "what?" "spin around in circles!"

"look! i can make a tent!"


"i've got a good side!"

"brandi flip me off" "what? why?" "just do it"


i was shaking my head really fast ._.

Laptop buddy!

so ive got my laptop back, kinda... so um... my screen died AGAIN so now i have a monitor in my room, but its all like..a flat screen, and the only place i can think to put it is way higher than my bed.. which is where i sit with my laptop... so this is kinda weird... maybe ill move my bookshelf next to my bed and put the monitor there... oh well... anyways um... FOR MY DAY!

dundundun, so missy and fuji woke me up this morning to ask if i wanted to go to the mall, and since i was already going to go to the mall with joe i though well why not, i havent seen missy or fuji since summer started, so i went, and i found the recipe that fujis mom REALLY wanted from me, they werent going to take me if i didnt have it -_- but i got it so yay! we got to the mall and walked around and talked and got POCKY! strawberry pocky, and it was awsome, later when i was in borders with fuji and missy joe called and he came and found us ^_^ and we all walked around till like 2:30 and we went to wait for fujis mom, then joe and i spent like 45 minutes just talking and loitering outside of jillians, that was just really nice, then we walked around and joe called jeff, we found jeff and our group became larger, and well i found chelseas emo boy who i met at lovesac, he didnt reconize me at first, and well one of the people was grant, a boy who went to elementary school with me... and honestly i think he hated me, i once had to do a project with him about delawere, when he found out he was my partner he got all mad e_e now hes got longer hair... and a totally different style, it took me awhile just to reconize him, we almost saw a movie and i was so looking foreward to doing so, but it never happened, joe and i were kinda ticked about that and ditched the rest of the group, went and got some food from super target cause we were mad hungry, so we ate outside the target and talked, later we went inside the mall again and walked around some more, then went back outside target to wait for rides, luckily mine came first and joe didnt have to explain who the girl was when he was at the mall with his "guy friend alex", got home, called some people, and got online and now here i am with a monitor in my room, talking to drw and joe online, one of these days im sure joe will get sick of me

So this one time...

okay so i had this really weird dream last night and i just have to write it down before i forget

okay so i was in this library when cassie runs past me and grabs me wrist, and drags me behind her, she tells me to follow her and we go to dannys house, and for some reason her mother hugs me and then i get some text message from tawni (kyles girlfriend who has no idea who i am) i get really confused as to why shes texting me then danny and cassie drag me off to a concert, and while im at the concert i find liz and then i end up making out with her, then the dream ended

odd eh?

Emotionally Unstable

You say you want to see the real me?
I'm sorry to say I keep her under lock and key
Her cell is dark and damp
She calls it her very own consintration camp
Late at night she cries
Her world is filled with lies
The anger she hides
Shows a smile on the outside
She's going insane
She can't make it through all the pain
Gem and Jack control her life
They killed the voice of reason with a dull knife
The voices are all she knows
It's for the best, I supose
She'll never live up to others expectations
No matter what the variations
She'll never be good enough
She's bitter and gotten tough
I put this fake smile on my face
So just maybe I can come in first place
You see now why I hide her?
I could let her out if you'd prefer
She's got a warning on the label
"Emotionally Unstable"

Mofia much?

so today was sevrely uneventful, but i did end up going out to dinner with the family and ashley, i arm wreatled with mom, lost horribly, we shot straws at eachother, and some how my sister and ashley are convinced im going to end up going out with joe, yea right, i mean he was even out on a date today XD and i told cassie and ashley of that
cassie: hes got a girl?
ashley: we can take care of that
me: what? i feel like i have hitmen
and then after i ate i threw it up e_e and when i got home, i got a nose bleed, and i sneezed blood but that was kinda cool...

It's a six foot rabbit with his ears tucked under a baseball cap!

So, last night i was writing poems in here and thn the internet was mean and shut down and i lost all that i had, so this is what you get, it made me laugh
you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots
I mean that is just some FUCKED UP SHIT
the Trix rabbit, for example
I dunno man... if I were him I'd be fucking KILLING some kids
I remember a commercial where the fuckin rabbit WENT INTO A FUCKIN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN FUCKIN MONEY.
fuckin kids came outta NOWHERE and basically fuckin mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit
"silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
Fuckin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
FUCK NO that wouldn't fly with me
I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fuckin bitches
and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them bitches and THEN beat the shit out of them some more.
and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a fuckin kid?
I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
"Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
NO.
I'd be thinking
"that's a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the FUCK was I just smoking?"
another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
they show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fuckin grapefruit... who the FUCK eats a breakfast that big
not me
I don't even EAT breakfast nomore
I mean, I eat when I get up
but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"
bitch, you make my fucking sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the fucking money
don't give me that shit.
Back to stupid cereal mascots...
Lucky Charms.
FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS
Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of fucking 6 year olds?!?!?
C'mon now, Lucky.
I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the fucking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.
"They're after me Lucky Charms!"
....
KILL THEM, BITCH!
I dunno why I went off on this rant here
it's just always bothered me."

The Broken Angie Toy?

emotionally unstable angie is here to stay, least for alittle while
i attempted to make kyle hate me so then maybe i wouldnt have to care and it wouldnt hurt so much anymore, all i ended up doing was pissing him off, i hate distance, its not fair, in the mist of my breakdown the only one talking to me (other than kyle) was joe, i vented to him, vented on how i feel like im always in second place, i can never win anything, and there must be something wrong with me, what else could be the reason? he said he didnt think there was anything wrong with me, i feel like a broken toy no one wants, theres always someone better than me, and im left out in the cold, people make promises they can never keep, joe cheered me up when i was crying, him and i are starting to become pretty good friends, its nice to have someone to talk to, we were going to meet at dairyqueen today but plans didnt work out, and last night we ended up making a promise, well a deal really, he wouldnt drink for the rest of the summer if i didnt cut for the rest of the summer, and if he drinks and i find out i get to kick his ass, and if i cut and he finds out he get to get more drunk than he ever has, hopefully by the end of the summer, hell be over drinking and ill be over cutting

sooo... for awhile im going to be very mood swingy.. and my moods are hard to tell apart, sometimes when im mad it can be confused with happiness, so if something happens and i piss you off while im emotionally unstable, im sorry

Why don't those manicans have shoes?

picture of some fireworks

me and missy, on the 4th

so anyways, today, chelsea woke me up this morning around 10, we tried pulling an all nighter but it didnt work, after we turned off the videogames and the laptop we started talking, she told me to tell her all of what happened last night, so i did, after awhile i realized how quiet she was "chelsea...? ...are you asleep? ...okay then.. talking to myself.." i fell asleep about an hour and a half later, so i walked chelsea home around 11:30 and went downstairs, watched danny phantom till about 1 when i passed out on the basement floor, i woke up to my cellphone going off, it was joe, he said he was going to be late getting to the mall, so i went upstairs to get ready, watched some tv with dad, and mom came home and we went to pick up mia, when we got there we kinda walked in silence, mia and i arent that close but there was alittle bit of talking, after a bit i got a call from joe, we started walking around target while joe was trying to find us, we finally stopped in sporting goods, i sat in the middle of the isle, we waited for joe, he came, he called some people to come to the mall too otherwise he was stuck with all girls, then he called brittney and andrea, and we met up with them, brittney reminded me of my old friend mary, the way she acted and talked, laughed, it all reminded me so much of mary, well most of the time i was quiet, when we met up with jeff, joe kept wandering off with him, mia brittney and andrea talked to eachother about people they all knew and i had never heard of, so i was kinda left out there, not to mention i was tired, missy popped out of nowhere and i attacked her with hugs, and patted ariel on the head, i think there was something wrong with her though she didnt say anything to me, we also found whitney outside along with others, and mia and i left, i got home and the evening went on slowly, i talked to laura on the phone, she got a bit tipsy and mariah and i messed wih her head, mariah said she wont remember any of it by tomorrow, i just hope she doesnt have a hangover when she goes to summer school, pirates of the caribbean comes out... i want to see it so bad, someone go with me?

I should know better than to open my heart.

well well well this night has been... very... eventful, i saw laurens kitten (lauren was my old babysitter when cassie went to summer school) and it was so cute, we never did get around to cleaning my room, chelsea and i went to glennon with ducky, and now shes spending the night

so heres my rant:
im starting to wonder if there really is that "one person" for me, yes yes i know im still young blah blah blah, but still, anyways, i thought i loved this boy, we were close, even though he lives pretty far away, weve been like best friends for about 5 years, he said he was completely devoted to me and nothing would come between him and i, he promised it, and id always say hed find someone better, hed say he wouldnt, and even if he did he only wanted me, then all of a sudden he wasnt on for a week, he comes on today and says he found another girl, he doesnt want her but he feels the same for her that he did for me, and now all of a sudden he doesnt aknowledge that he said he loved me, he only 'liked' me, for the first couple minutes i was in shock, i didnt know what to feel, i knew hed find someone else but i didnt think this soon, and he was even starting to convince me that we would be together forever, then this happens, he felt guilty for breaking his promises, and giving me false hopes, he said that talking to me on the computer and the phone just wasnt enough and that the lonelyness consumed him, so he gets the girl and im tossed aside, at first i told him i was happy for him, after alittle bit i realized what happened and i cried, i typed to him sloppily from my shaking, chelsea was in the living room at the time, i imed her (how lame) telling her what happened, she came into my room and hugged me, i had just stopped crying when she walked in but when she hugged me and i tried to speak i started crying again, within the hour i was smiling again and trying to cheer him up because he was kicking his own ass for being a jackass to me, i tried to convince him he wasnt a screw up and only human, and humans do whatever they can to make themselves happy, and that girl was what was making him happy and i wasnt, he still feels bad he broke a promise, and he has things on his mind hes refusing to tell me, its the first time hes refused to tell me anything, it feels weird, i feel weird, i dont.. feel anything right now aside from my hunger (which by the way ive lost like 10 pounnds this summer all from forgetting to eat, yay?) i dont remember what it feels like to be happy, sad or any of that, i feel empty and alone, and i mean come on, like any of the guys around here would give me a second look, all i am is either a friend or "weird" im sick of being the good friend, and gosh damnit i need a hug

YAY INDEPENDENCE!

so last night i went to see fireworks with my ellie-pet, that was REALLY fun, so while we were driving there it was raining super hard, and all of a sudden ellie starts singing "rain rain go away so we can play with firee" i started laughing and said "yay songs!" when we got there we waited in the car for awhile, ellie and i played blackjack 21 on my phone, ellies mom and dad read, and hannah (ellies sister) flipped through magazines and looked at ringtones, she found one that was the mario theme song and ellie and i were singing it for like the next 10 minutes, and there were talking about the people walking by
hannah: look that kid is a bumble bee!
me: you.. mean a lady bug?
hannah: yea! that one
me: because bees are red with black dots
then when the rain had mostly stopped ellie and i went to make sure the firwork show was still on, we were walking over there and
ellie: well i bet its still on, i mean look at all the people
me: yea or else alot of people are going to be sevrely disappointed
ellie: i dont see anyone we know do you?
then i spot alan
me: um... ellie keep walking, i see alan
ellie: what where!
we walked back to the car and missy found us and it was a hug fest "OMG ITS MISSY! *hug* ...ITS MISSY! *hug again*"
there was much laughing, playing with taffy, hugging, and fake fighting, then we walked over to the park to find ellies parents, we lost missy then i ran at her and she screamed "AMBUSH!" and i stopped right infront of her and looked at her, and we saw this cute little kid with glow sticks, omg so cute, his parents got annoyed of us though "are you going to stand there the entire show?" probaby because every time a car alarm went off we all yelled "beep!" so we walked back to ellies parents and we sat on a blanket and talked, when it started missy ran off and i used ellie as a pillow, and attempted to take pictures, which didnt work out too well, but ill post them here later i think, and i yelled "yay independence" randomly during the show, after the show we went home, ellie spilled dr pepper and we giggled
today mom is forcing me to clean my room, so ive hidden things i dont want her to find, such as my razors and my notebook, hopefully it wont be too bad

fogwars...? XD

LESBIANS!

so i still have some things on my mind, i think ive just been moody lately, and im sorry to who ever has had to deal with it
in other news i went to the mall today with amber, which was fun, we wandered around and after awhile we had our arms around eachother, mine resting on her shoulder, and hers around my waist, people gave us dirty looks as we walked by, most likely because they thought her and i were lovers, we read in borders, we went outside so she could smoke, we found one of her friends along with a girl who was in my french class, they gave us popper things, we eventually went into target and bought 5 boxes of them, i gave her two boxes, i kept two for myself and i figure ill give a box to jesus for his birthday for i have no more money, one of the rentacops made us pick up all the little pieces of them though, which sucked, i did have to do because amber made me stay with our stuff, and when they were off "picking up the trash" they really just ditched me and left me with the rentacop and he asked me questions and stuff, unrelated to anything worth knowing, i dont feel like writing much, sorry

I really don't know my friends do I?

this past year, freshmen year, has been... suprizing to say the least
i realized how innocent i really am, i found out just how many of my friends are into drugs, the number took my breath away, and not in a good way.. the real shock was at ashleys birthday party.. i was the only one not getting stoned... two of my friends who had never done it before decided to jump in and try anyways... i gave in and downed some alcohol, i felt nothing but the horrid taste, they all thought i got clambaked because i kept giggling when one of the girls kept asking where her sock was, i got mad at them when they all decided to get stoned within minutes of my mom picking us up to go to the mall, leaving me in the hall alone, i refused to speak to any of them for atleast 2 weeks, now i come to find that another one of my friends smokes... and drinks.. i worry about them all so much, it takes all i have not to cry, and what good thats doing, i can barely see the keyboard through my tears... which seem to be mixing themselves with blood...
in other news, im having the same old thoughts of my friends leaving me out, whether it ntentional or not... everyone is so busy now, and i have nothing to do, the few people who also have nothing to do, well i feel bad calling them every other day or so to ask if they want to hang out, im not all that pleasent to begin with, sometimes i think it might be because of the whole ordeal with trevor, they all seemed to be better friends with trevor than me, known him longer, better, things like that, and when they want to hang out with him it is most definite ill be left out, sometimes i think i should just give up trying to be their friends because theyll all seem to step around me causiously because of trevor, all except for jared, he seems to be the only one not afriad to mention trevor around me
also, i fear i screw up everyones life, like... im not a good influence... all my friends i have grown apart from seem to have now great friends, better opertunities, and a better life than ever before, i think i should just isolate myself from the world, or kill myself, then everyone can have happy lives
on a totally lighter note: happy birthday to jesus, i think ill buy him plastic dinosaurs for his birthday, just because i can