Blizzard part two calls for a Movie Night part two.

Second wave of the stupid blizzard came. Even more snow. God I hate snow. And it all came on the day I was suppose to hang out with Speedy. I was ticked off about that, everytime I want to see Speedy, it freaking snows.
Mom says its a beautiful day today though. "Like MotherNature said 'Oops! Sorry, PMS!'" Mom's exact words, they made me laugh.
Well, because I couldn't leave the house, Bryan decided to bring people to my house for yet another movie night, although we hadn't planned on watching movies until they realized my house has nothing else to do. So we watched Pirates of the Caribbean:Curse of the Black Pearl, and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Through the first movie Marty and Kelsey were all curled up and silent, I'm pretty sure they fell asleep, especially since when the movie was over and I got up, Kelsey was asleep. Bryan almost fell asleep, and I almost did too.
There was a slight intermission between movies. Marty needed to call his parents and say he probably wasn't going to be home at 5:30. Consitering it was around 4ish and we were starting another movie. During the small break, Kelsey accidently kicked Bryan in the groin. I had to wrestle a dog toy away from Bryan to get the stupid squeeking to stop. And whenever I threw it, Bryan would go get it just to squeek it some more, made me wonder if Bryan really is a dog. I eventually got the ball away from him and ran upstairs to give it to Ducky, to find him and mom sleeping. I was kinda surprized they could be sleeping with all the noise we were making downstairs. When I went to sit next to Bryan and Kelsey gave me this weird look. Then watched me for the first couple minutes of the movie instead of the movie. I kept looking at her and pointing to the TV and told her there was a movi on. She told me she was watching something more interesting than the movie. She was trying to figure if Bryan and I were dating now or not with how we were acting. Then Marty started tickling Kelsey again, and Bryan used me as a human shild as to protect his sesitive parts from the strong legs of Kelsey. But even I know it's not good to be by Kelsey and Marty when they start tickling eachother, I've been hit and kicked many of times by that, but I still stayed where Bryan moved me. For about half the movie I stayed there. Kelsey gave me more weird looks when she saw me holding his hand. Eventually Bryan fell asleep, I was drifting until the phone rang and I sat up again. I realized how much my back hurt then and I moved off of Bryan. Shortly after my move, Bryan woke up and apologized for falling asleep. I assumed that Kelsey and Marty were asleep again with how quiet they were even when Bryan and I were whispering. I was laying on the floor and Bryan layed close to me with his arms around me, which was good because I was feeling cold. We watched more of the movie, and Cassie came downstairs. I expected her to say something with how Bryan was holding me, but she didn't. Mom came downstairs, and I expected her to say something too, instead she just asked how everyone was getting home. Bryan said his dad was giving him and Kelsey a ride home, and Marty was walking. I said I wasn't going anywhere, and asked what was for dinner. "Breakfast." We finished the second movie and Bryan hid the remote from all of us. I went into his pockets to try to find it, it was in his back pocket and hard to reach. He tried to fool me by moving and taking it out of his pocket when I wasn't looking, but I found it. There were more tickle fights. Bryan fell asleep in my lap. Kelsey and Marty wanted to give him a wedgie, I said they couldn't. They wanted to stick his hand in warm water. They told me to get the water. I told them that he was laying in my lap, I certainly wasn't going to be the one to get the water. Then they asked if they could do it if they got the water, and I said no. Bryan eventually woke up. We ate Dinn-Breakfast. I kept messing up Bryan by touching his neck. It made him twitch. Especially when he was trying to meditate, I wouldn't let him consintrate for more than a few seconds, even when he tried his hardest to block me out. We did random stuff until about 7:35 when Marty had to start walking home. He gave us all hugs and went on his way. I kept making Bryan twitch. And Kelsey taught me new ways, because "I was probably going to be his girlfriend soon and I needed to know how to make him do anything". We decided that the twitching was joygasms, especially when he couldn't for coheirent sentences. And in the middle of it all... I kissed him. It shocked the hell out of him and he froze up. All of what I learned was practiced, up until his dad came to pick them up. He could barely walk, it was so funny. When we all got upstairs, I hugged them both, and while they were going out the door mom said she now knew why I felt so short. When I hug Kelsey, I only come up to her boobs. I come up to Bryan and Marty's shoulders. And they seem to be the people I've been hanging out with lately. If I hang out with Steven and Misa, Steven is like a foot taller than me, and Misa is the only one shorter than me.
That was my night. Later Bryan and I talked on the phone again into the morning hours. And he asked what Kelsey did. "Are we dating?" Things would be so much clearer if I had been able to hang out with Speedy and tell him I was going to go out with Bryan. Till then I guess it's all just in the air.

Oh, by the way. I have another POS model cell phone. But it works. I need people's numbers again.

Quiality Bryan Time.

So. Yesterday I was in one of those moods. Happily Depressed and junk, right? Never a good time to be around me, but it's when I need people around most. Within an hour of waking up I ticked off Marty. Which made me cry, especially when I tried calling him and he didn't pick up.
I woke up at two by the way. In the afternoon. Anyways. By five I was on my way to the mall to hopefully hang out with Marty, Steven, Misa, Kelsey, Bryan. Bryan came back yesterday from his Christmas in Nebraska. So! I get to the mall, and I try calling Misa, but she desn't pick up, so I make my way to Borders to listen to some music or read until people came. Bryan called me while I was listening to Bowling For Soup, and I went outside of Borders to wait for him. While waiting, three random kids in strollers would just stare at me as they went by, it was alittle odd. There was a kid that looked like Matt, only this kid had a mohawk. One kid seemed very lost because he passed me about 5 times. One lady had a purse made from those Kool-Aid CaprisSun things, I kinda wanted to steal her purse just to buy her a better one. I have no money though.
Eventually Bryan came around, and we sat and talked about random observations with people. After awhile we took his eight bucks, went over to Panda Express, and he bought some food for us to share. When I started eatting he said "Well thank god, I thought I was going to have to force you to eat." Because most of the time, I'll tell people not to buy me any food I'm fine, but I'm actually perfectly fine with their scraps if they're not going to eat it. I didn't eat much of what he got anyways. But how could I pass it up? He got all the food I like and he didn't even ask what I wanted. Now thats Skillz. Anyways, After eatting we walked around the mall some more and talked, and got to the MODE store. Store of couches, the next favorite store since LoveSac was taken out. Anyways, we sat on like 5 different couches and chairs. There were paintings everywhere, mostly of mostly naked women. We talked and sat in silence, we talked about stuff that we both had been thinking since some of our text message conversations. In one of the text things, he said that I deserved to be happy more than he did, because I had a tougher upbringing than he did. I kept trying to get him to explain it but he couldn't really explain more than that he was a very spoiled kid. When we got up to leave, I realized I couldn't find my cell phone. Bryan and I went around the store, looking in all the places we had sat down, and even called it when looking but we had no such luck on finding it. We walked to all the places we had been and we never found it. I called mom and told her, she was pretty ticked. Second cell phone I've lost in four months. ;-; I really don't mean to! I did so well with holding onto my cell for the some odd years I had it. They seem to have overlooked that aspect and now are taking a long time to switch numbers over because its their way of punishing me. Well, Bryan and I walked around, found Anthony and got money for a soda from him. We found Kelsey and Marty, but they left right after we found them. We sat down in some of the rocking chairs and Bryan refused to let me rock too much because he didn't want me falling backward. He kept dropping hints, and called me beautiful in spanish. Me not knowing spanish had no idea what he said. I called him either fire or crazy in french because I really suck with pronounciation, ask Lana. She tries to beat accents into me. Bryan had these really random moments where he'd ask me who I was and where we were. I came up with different things to say each time. I'm SoulStealer. I'm Angie. I'm not fucking hot. And the last time I was about to say, "I'm your girlfriend." Instead I just started laughing and refused to tell him what I was going to say. He begged and I finally agreed to let him know if he guessed it. He couldn't figure it out and we even had to walk outside and wait for my mom. He guessed on the way home, and when I got home, he called and guessed for another 20 minutes or so. He finally figured it out and then we had guessing games until around 11pm. The phone died, and I spazzed. I couldn't remember his number, and I picked up the reciever in the phone in my room to see if maybe I could call him back, but he was still on the line. We ended up talking until around 4am when I got a big headache and went to sleep.

Had to get up at 7 for physical theorpy. I ended up waking up around 8 though. We went to the place, and its called Back To Normal. Mom and I waited around and I went into a room, I told her what had been going on and we did some random tests. All of which made me feel oh so very weak. One of the tests, I had to lay on my back and raise one of my legs, and she would push down on them and I'd try to hold them up. I couldn't do it. She gave me a massage andleft me with a heating pad, then we left. All of it took about an hour.

WTF. Srsly

What. The. Fuck.Seriously.
What is with people? So this is the low down on last night. I was in this weird mood, and was all jealous of couples. So I'm thinking, WTF. I'm the one who decided I wasn't ready for a relationship at all, and here I am jealous of all those people who have significant others. So Bryan asks what's wrong and I tell him just that. You know what he responds with?
"Well I know if you wanted someone you could have almost anyone."
I told him he lied. People shouldn't want me at all.Why would people want me?
"Well, you're pretty, smart, nice, funny, the list goes on."
No one sees that unless they get to know me.
"Well I got to know you."
I told him he was starting to sound as if he wanted to date me.
"Um well..."
HE LIKES ME!
"Um well.... Yeah"
I asked him for how long.
"For awhile. Ever since I really got to know you more."
I asked him why he didn't tell me a couple weeks ago when I asked.
"Because I know you don't want me to like you like that."
I don't really remember what I said then.
"Well if you don't keep trying you'll end up alone."
I'm fine being alone if other people are happy.
"I don't think so. I think it would be good if you had someone that really cared about you like I would."
I'll end up hurting him.
"I don't think you would ever hurt me. I'm not sure you could."
Of course I wouldn't hurt him on purpose. But I hurt everyone.
"Well I don't think you could hurt me. I'm too torn apart to feel anymore pain."
Then how is he so sure I'd make him better?
"Yes, I know you would. I'm tired of feeling numb inside."
Silence. I have no idea what to say to him.
"Angie? Are you still awake? Please talk to me. And yes, I know you could make me happy.""Will you atleast think about it? I would really like to make you happy.""Will you atleast consiter it?"
Yea..
"I'm sorry to put you through this. I'll leave you alone.""I'm.. I hope you choose what you think is best."
Yea... Me too.
"Well.. I'm sure you will."
How does he know I can make him happy?
"It's just something I can feel and I know that you can make me happy.""But I would even rather feel pain than this numb void that I'm surrounded by. Please save me from this dead feeling"
Cue crying.... Now.
"I don't want to be hurt but I'm willing to risk to be with you."
Cue guilt.... Now.But I thought he wasn't going to get back into relationships until his hair grw out again. What changed?
"My feelings... I can't always control them."
Well. Crap.

Movie Night! ^_^

So movie night happened afterall, and it didn't turn out to just be Marty and me. I invited Bryan over text, and then Kelsey over online messages and such. Around 4 I got bored, and didn't want to wait another hour for people to come over. Then mom and dad came home with a huge TV. Which is now sitting on the computer desk making it impossible to use that computer. Anyways, I was sitting on the living room floor watching TV when Marty came. We watched TV and waited for Bryan and Kelsey to come. When Bryan came in he was suddenly on his cell phone. "What Bryan? Two seconds in my house and you're bored?" He was on the phone with Kelsey, she was telling him she was going to be a little bit late. We all watched some more TV until i decided to get some pizza from the freezer for dinner. Marty came into the kitchen and asked if he could help. "Um. Yea. How do you make 2 pizzas at once?" None of us could answer that. Bryan said, "You just don't if you're as intelligent as us." So I preheated the oven and we made one pizza at a time. Kelsey came before I put the pizza in the oven. Kelsey was talking to us all when her mom called her cellphone and said she was stuck. So Bryan, Marty, Kelsey and I went outside to try to get the car unstuck. The first time we tried, I ended up almost falling but Kelsey caught me. I got my boot stuck in the snow, and oh so much snow inside of my boot. We spent probably 15 minutes outside when the neighbor came to help too and we finally got her mom's car unstuck thanks to Bryan. We went back inside, I put the pizza in the oven and we went downstairs to pick a movie to watch.
The first movie: Shaun of the Dead. Good movie, and now I know where my friends got "Fuck-a-doodle-doo". Part way through the movie the pizza was done and Bryan threatened to burn cats. I wreastled his lighter from him, and hid it. On Kelsey. He thought for the entire night I had the lighter. We stopped the movie, ate pizza, and talked. Kelsey, Marty and I went upstairs for sodas, and when we were on our way back down the stairs I saw Bryan peek around the corner as he lay in wait to scare us. I warned everyone. But when we got to the bottom of the stairs, Bryan jumped out of Dad's shop and made Kelsey scream. After that we moved places of sitting. At first I was sitting in the computer chair, Marty was in one chair, Bryan in another, which squeeked, and Kelsey sat on the audoman thing. After pizza, I was laying infront of the audoman, Kelsey was sitting between the audoman and the squeeky chair which Marty sat in, and Bryan sat on the chair Marty was previously sitting in. Alittle bit through the movie Bryan tried to scare me and failed horribly. Bryan moved onto the audoman, and kept scaring Kelsey. They scared her about 5 times before they decided it was getting old.
The next movie: The Fog. None of us had seen this movie. We moved around furnature to get comfortable. Bryan moved the audoman for him, Marty and Kelsey to lean against, but there wasn't enough room left for me. So I popped in the movie and decided to use people as pillows, closest one to me was Bryan. I put a pillow on his legs and layed down, Kelsey thought this was a good idea and did the same to Marty. After alittle bit I couldn't stop shaking because I was cold. Bryan thought I was scared. Apparently Kelsey was shaking too and Marty said "Well, now I know you're not cold." Giggles, Laughs and what not. We took a mini break for sodas, and I took this oppertunity to grab a blanket. Back to movie, Bryan kept petting my hair, which would have been alot better if his fingers didn't come so close to my eyes. I eventually stop shaking because I was all warm. ^_^
After we watched The Fog, it was almost 10pm. Bryan called his not-so-happy father and he came to pick Bryan up. While waiting, we had a lot of fun watching Bryan try to find his lighter which he thought I had hidden somewhere by the computer desk. In the process, he dropped his cellphone and I stole that too. When Bryan's dad came, Kelsey gave Bryan's lighter back to me to give to Bryan, but I never did. I did however, give him his cell back. I'm not too terribly mean. We gave Bryan hugs and he left.
Kelsey, Marty and I went back down stairs for one more movie. Billy Maddison. We didn't pay too much attention to the movie. Marty was laying in the middle of Kelsey and I and we kept tickling him. Which made it really hard for him to fall asleep no matter how tired he was. After the movie, Kelsey called her mom. It was kinda weird. Her mom didn't know she was still at my house. So we decided instead of making her mom drive to my house and get stuck in the snow again that Kelsey just spend the night. So we all went on the car drive to take Marty home, and we came back and Kelsey and I talked for hours. Marty went home around midnight. Kelsey and I were up til about 5:30am talking. There were probably only 3 or 4 random silences. Around 10:30am Kelsey's mom called her phone and we had a hard time going back to sleep. My hips hurt so I got up and walked around.
Kelsey went home later after much confusion on who and if people were going to pick her up. I never really talked to Kelsey before last night, and it was nice. People always badmouthed her and I knew she couldn't possibly be as bad as people said she was. So I found out for myself that she is a great person. So easy to talk to. I love friends.

On a side note. I got to see Speedy today. That made me really happy.

And on a totally totally different hand: I was watching music videos today. There are several songs I want. So if your at lack of an Angie Christmas present, download one of these songs and send it to me and I shall be forever in debt, because Music is my Drug.

-"Le Disko" by Shiny Toy Guns. (Marty downloaded this one, he has yet to send it to me though. Any other Shiny Toy Guns songs would be perfectly acceptable.)
-"Creeps Me Out" by IMA Robot (This song has a funny music video, everyone's playing musical chairs.)
-"Suddenly I See" by KT something or other. I didn't catch it fast enough to write it down, sorry.
-"Monster" by Med and Dia (Also fun music video. Flashing hearts.)
-"Man in the Box" by Alice in Chains
-"My Paper Heart" by All-American Rejects
-"Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" by Panic! At the Disco
-"She Is" by The Fray
-"Into the Ocean" by Blue October
-"The Hand That Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails
-"Always" by Blink 182
-"You're the Only One" by Maria Mena
-"Metro" by Vincent Black Shadow
-"Honestly" by Cartel
-"Rooftops" by Lost Prophets
-"It's Not Your Fault" by New Found Glory
-"Ready to Fall" by Rise Against
-"Oh Gravity" by Switchfoot

I think that's it.

Snow, Snow, Snow, We hate snow, Hate, Hate, Hate, Bad, Bad, Bad, Jebwee Jebwee

First day of actual break. It's my dad's birthday today.
Since none of my family seems to be going up to my aunt's house for Christmas, my mom decided, "Hey! let's have the Christmas party here since we are absolutely unready for any type of party, and have too much family to fit into this house comfortablely. We have no presents for anyone, but Angie, pick up that phoone and call relatives to see if they can come!" Or atleast that's what I heard come out of her mouth. And out of all relatives that I called, only three picked up. My aunt Cindy, my brother Shannon, and my nephew Josh. Cindy doesn't know because she's already done so much to prepare at her house, and she doesn't know if she can get down the mountain. Shannon is going where ever Krista and Doc are going. And when I called Krista, Josh answered and said she wasn't home, so I left a message with him. Everyone else I called I left a very lame, uninformitive message. I think we have a total of three presents under our tree, two of which are mine for other people. My dad and my sister. I didn't get around to getting a present for mom. Because I'm kinda out of cash. Stupid Target.
So possible movie night tonight. Last weekend when I went to the mall with Marty, I decided I really wanted a movie night. Marty kinda tried to organize one, but I'm pretty sure the only ones that can go are me and him. Misa's parents are mad that she's stayed the night at Steven's house twice this week because of snow. Steven well, won't come unless Misa's coming. Bryan may or may not be leaving for Nebraska today. Hah. Nebraska. Good luck there Bryan.

ARGH! Angie! Don't die!

So it turned out cold does not improve my coughing. Who knew? Well I did, but I didn't particularly care as I ventured out into the literal Winter Wonderland that has consumed Colorado as of late.
What's the worst wake up call ever? Snowballs. My mom walked into my room this morning and threw a snowball at me. I was in my PJ's for a couple hours then decided to unpack a box and go hang out with Marty, because I was in serious need of friend interaction. So I got all bundled up and started walking to the DQ. I got about halfway up the street and wanted to turn around. But I went on. I realized just about every other house would shovel their walks. So it was a lot easier to just walk in one of the two tire tracks in the middle of the road since my street had yet to be plowed. I got scared of slipping on the big hill on Simms so I went back onto the sidewalk. On my way walking, some guy told me I had the fastest mode of transportation and I couldn't help but laugh as he was digging out his car. Marty called me and asked where I was, and after a couple minutes on the phone we spotted eachother. I tried to walk faster but within two steps I fell because I was walking where someone hadn't shoveled. We walked over to the Everyday and found it was closed. The sign on the door said "Closed Due To Weather" and I looked around at the snow and started laughing. I mean they called the National Guard to help us. Of course Everyday is going to be closed because of weather. Marty and I called Bryan to make sure it was okay to stalk him at his house. We walked to his house and watched Bryan play Zelda on his Wii until about five. Misa and Steven got there about 4:30 and Misa wasn't too happy. While we were there, Bryan's brother scared Marty and I with how random and perverted he was for his age. And I couldn't stop coughing and Marty kept telling me not to die. Marty almost fell asleep on the beanbag we were on. Around 5 Marty and I decided we should start walking. But I guess we didn't have to because Bryan's dad gave us a ride home. And Bryan's mom gave us sugary goodness.
When we got infront of my house the snow was up to my boobs e_e and I fell. Rawr.

May the angels in the heavens watch over you because I know how much they envy you.

Why do people have to be so sweet? It makes me mad sometimes. But not right now. Right now I can't stop smiling. Everything seems so nice, so warm and cozy. I could curl up in my mind and sleep forever in the love, and always be happy.
I know that feeling won't last too long, but I'm beyond happy right now, and I'm not really caring what the future will hold.

Speedy's fine. He went to Layn's and now he's back at home, and his parents weren't even really mad. He called me this morning saying he was okay.

Snow day on the last day of finals. There's tons of snow outside. I ran outside with Ducky, and he could barely catch up. The snow was almost at my waist by then. When I ran to go back inside, I tripped over a doggy jump. An hour later my footprints were almost non existant. i love snow and hate it at the same time.

Oh gosh my heart feels so light. I wish this would never end. <3333

Aw honey, don't worry. I'm here.

Lately people have been coming to me with more problems than normal. Maybe they all just have more drama.
Bryson's in his weird mood again.
Danny's friend died.
Liz is worried about Bryson.
Speedy might no graduate. Today at lunch I was using Marty as a pillow until Speey came in in sat in the corner of the Cubby. I asked him if he was okay and he didnt say anything. So I got off Marty and sat next to Speedy and asked him what was wrong. He said, "My dad is going to kill me." I asked why. "There's no way I'm going to be able to graduate. No way. I'm such a screw up. I fuck up everything.." and he trailed off still critizing himself. I tried to comfort him, and held him as he cried. I wish I could have stayed with him longer, but lunch ended and I had to go to French for my Oral Final. I hugged him and kissed him on the head and went off to French. I didn't see him for the rest of the day, but Marty said he felt better after awhile and got more social. I was feeling good about that up until dinner when Speedy's mom called me and asked if I knew where Speedy was. I didn't. So she asked if I knew Kara. I do. She asked for her number and I gave it to her. I hope Speedy is okay. Cassie called and asked if Speedy's mom called me too. Apparently she called Cassie. He didn't show up to work today. Crap. All I can think about is the worst possible situation. Death. I hope he's okay. Crap. I'm starting to cry again.

Might finish post later. I don't know.

Rant: Friends with Benifits.

Seriously, what kind of relationship is that? People think it's ideal. Because there are no attachments. That never happens. Someone always gets attached and gets hurt in the end. The reason for this rant? Bryan is 'friends with benifits' with Kelsey. I haven't been thinking too highly of Kelsey lately. She doesn't seem like she's good with sticking with one guy too long. As far as I know, she's gone out with three guys that I know and dumped them all within weeks or even days, only to go back and do it all over again. Obviously Kelsey's going to be great with this friends with benifits thing because then she can flirt, kiss, and tease multiple guys and feel no guilt. She's broken Bryan's heart atleast 3 times, and I'm afriad this is going to cause a forth. She's gone out with Matt somewhere around 4 times and broke up with him each time, and got upset when he said it wasn't going to happen anymore. She got Matt mad, and that's hard to do with Matt's laid back attitude. If you think about it, friends with benifits is just an excuse for messing around with a bunch of people. How to you call that off though? Like if they were to find someone that the genunily wanted to be with? "I'm sorry, we can't be fuck-buddies anymore"? "I've found someone I like better." "I feel guilty cheating on my new boyfriend/girlfriend." OR! You don't even stop it. And when you get a girlfriend/boyfriend it is cheating. I just don't really get the point of friends with benifits. Honestly. I know Bryan's going to end up getting hurt because Kelsey jumps from guy to guy way too fast. I even told him so. He said he didn't care. And I guess he won't care until Kelsey hurts him again. Then he'll be afraid to get close to people again.

Sickly+Cramps=Bad

Because math can be used for bad things too.
So on Friday I got sick. Turns out that sore throat wasn't just from yelling. Friday morning, I get up, all pumped up for school. Because I have to give my half of the project to Misa. While I'm brushing me teeth, I suddenly have to throw up. How ironic is that? I try to convince my mom I can still go to school. She says no, I e-mail the paper to Misa and go back to bed. I didn't wake up till around noon when my mom came in, then I slept for two more hours. Minky came in around 2ish and decided he despretely wanted to be loved on. Some how he figured out how to open my door, then walked in, sat on my head and tried eatting my hair. I hate when he does that so I moved my head. He followed. This went on for about ten minutes then he walked around the bed. I tried to go back to sleep. Then he decides to bite my arm. Each time he did it I'd push him away and say no. He'd come right back. After about 7 times I pushed him off the bed, and told him no. He jumped back on the bed and decided to eat my hair again. Okay fine, I'll get up now. The rest of the day I curled up in a blanket and watched tv in the basement.
Saturday: I helped mom move stuff out of my room then went to the mall with Marty. No one else could go because they had Plans. Bryan was out skiing, Misa was going to Sasha's birthday party, and we couldnt get ahold of Kara. Well, Marty and I shopped for stuff, and I got some presents for my dad and my sister, and now out of fifty, I have eight dollars. When we got to Borders, I saw Steven coming down the stairs. So I ran for attack, found Misa and she glomped me and Marty. We asked Misa why she wasn't at Sasha's party, and she said she didn't really want to go because Laura was going to be there. (Which, honestly, I feel kinda hurt for not even getting invited to. Sasha is suppose to be my wife and all. She ditches me, blows me off, and then doesn't invite me to her birthday party. That makes feel all warm and fuzzy.) Well, Marty asks if I need a ride home because he's leaving, Misa and Steven were leaving soon too so I took the ride. But before they game me a ride home we went to BestBuy. Which made me just want to have a movie night so entirely much. They brought me home, I went on the computer and watched TV. Mom set up the tree, aand around 11:30 we put ordiments on it.
I went to bed around 1am.
I woke up around 5am with major cramps. I cried for almost an hour before I fell back asleep. Woke up this morning with my throat hurting terribly.
Ugh. I hate this.

[insert eye catching title here]

So today was..
Have you ever noticed that when I start posts like that they seem to be really happy or really depressing? I guess this is going to be a little bit of both.
Who knew someone could PMS this long and not stab someone? But believe me, I've almost done it.
I was all EMO beyond reason today. In the morning I got all ticked off at Sasha because I never see her and she'd rather look at pictures then spend any time with me. After that moment, I didn't wany anyone touching me. All hugs I ducked away from, and every time someone tried to touch my arms I'd cower away like an abused child. But you know what. I do feel abused. Or atleast used. I'm so sick and tired of getting close to all these people only to have them leave me. Oh, but that's alright. It's just Angie. It's okay to discard her. She'll get over it. I'm so tired of this. I hate being the one that's oh so easy to just walk away from. I'm sick and tire of being a doormat. The worst thing? I know I won't end up doing anything about this. You know why? I'm afriad of more people leaving me. When everyone realizes I won't be there all the time just in case, they'll find someone new. Someone better. What's this? Emo mindset again.
Anyways. I wouldn't let people touch me. For probably an hour I didn't speak a word to anyone. The first person I started talking to was Marty. I don't know why. Marty just seems like no threat to me. When he couldn't come over to paint he felt so bad about it. Maybe he's just in the same boat I am. The first words were about the yearbook he brought to school. My eigth grade yearbook and he's seventh grade yearbook. "We did STUFF" How lame of a cover is that? I think he was one of the very few kids who didnt decorate the cover in attempt to make it less Lame. First everyone else was looking through it, Marty invited me into the circle. They found a picture of Laura. After they had had this long conversation which almost made me cry about all the people leaving, they get o a picture of Laura. I almost started crying again. Marty, Misa, and Allison left. Bryan was meditating and I looked through the yearbook by myself. Flipping over the pages and thinking about how much all of my friends had change. I shouldn't have picked up that yearbook. I came to the picture of Laura again. I stared at the picture for what seemed like hours. Flashbacks. I started shaking and I knew what was coming. Curse my easy ability to cry. Johnny and Ariel commented on my shaking. I threw the book down and put my head on my knees trying to hide the fact that I was indeed crying. After awhile Bryan obviously took notice and held me. First person I let touch me without moving away. When I stopped shaking so much, he suggested we go on a walk and I could tell him what was troubling me. I was reluctant but went anyways. I had to clean my glasses and wiped off the remainder of the make-up that had been there since the previous morning. It turned my sweater sleeve blue. I told him what was wrong in the fewest words possible. "I really hate that everyone is moving." As soon as we walked into the commons I saw Becca and bolted. I ran outside, kinda tripped and collasped on the ground. On my way down I skinned part of my hand on the brick wall. To my surprize Bryan wasn't far behind. I crie somemore and I heard someone else run up and ask me what was wrong. I didn't look up, but I tried matching the voice with a face. I couldn't do it. When I finally stopped crying (again, god, I'm such a cry baby.) I looked up and saw Joe. Now I thought Joe had stopped really caring about what was wrong with my awhile ago. I didn't tell him what was wrong though. Bryan suggested going back inside. Again, I was reluctant, but I eventually got up. Stumbled over myself getting to the doors, but I still followed. We went to the Bagel Corner, and Joe stayed until he had to go to class. Bryan ditched. Tried to help me,but when I'm in that mood it's kinda useless. I can turn just about whatever anyone says to me into something negitive. It's almost like some twisted talent I don't even want. Kelsey got suspended for some stupid reason. Bryan convinced me to walk up to the hill where he ditched me. Ashley was there... I haven't seen Ashley for quite awhile. She just reminded me of Laura though. She also made me realize my mood has really gone down since freshman year. Since Laura left. She tried to cheer me up, and got a bit farther than Bryan did. I got cold and went inside. Only to go back outside with Anthony. We went back inside and went into jewlery class. I let Marty hug me, Jacqi, Anthony, James, and Ashley too. Marty went back out with me into the commons and he put shapie on my nails. Kara came over and we talked to her. Speedy came and hugged me. Then 4th period through the rest of the day is a pretty big blur. Maybe I'll blog about it later. but right now I'm really tired and I have to go to Access tomorrow.
So. Stupid me, you know. Writes all this personal stuff and feelings about people thinking "Hey, it's okay, they'll never read it." *smacks own head* So Charlie read all those posts about himself, and if I'm real unlucky he'll end up reading this one too.

But he's just a freshman!

Yesterday. Was TAU. Which was suppose to be Caitlin's going away party because it was going to be her last day of TAU. We got pizza and games to play, but Caitlin had to miss it because she was sick. We ate pizza and called her telling her we missed her and to feel better soon. We played Apples to Apples, well everyone did except Becca (Kenton's Becca) and I. For awhile I sat with Charlie and watched everyone play. Then Becca and I drew on the white board for awhile, and then when people started leaving I sat back with Charlie. When the circles room has opened up I sat on the floor because Charlie and I were the only ones sitting on desks. Charlie asked if I was just trying to tempt him to sit on the floor and I nodded and told him to sit in my lap. He was up for that offer and sat in my lap. He sat on my lap until we all decided we should end TAU and go home. I offered to give Charlie a ride home and we waited out front.
So. Yesterday mom also started moving furnature out of my old room. My bed, bookself, nightstand, and dresser are now in my new room. Having my bed in there meant my first night spending the night in there without it being Cassie's room was last night. I didn't really sleep well, it was super cold and quiet. I was too lazy to go and turn on the radio so it wouldn't be quiet. When I finally went to sleep, I had a weird dream.
So I was on the computer, and for some odd reason Charlie's dad (whom which I have never met) IM's me and tells me that he's leaving town and leaving Charlie on his own. I call Charlie and tell him he can't just stay alone, so I ask my dad if a friend can come over. He says sure, then I add, "oh, you don't mind that the friend is a guy right?" He gets all angry. "No boy friend of my daughter is spending the night at this house!" And I start yelling back, "But he's just a freshman! He can't take care of himself! He has no where else to go!" So my mom starts crying and calls me a noble person and starts setting up a room for him. I somehow tell him to come over without the phone. Well my parents had plans for the night and said they couldn't pick him up, but they were really happy with the bus ticket plan they came up with. (Which is odd because Charlie actually lives within walking distance.) Charlie gets here and I hug him, then I woke up.

Today. When I woke up I went to the vent in the kitchen and sat by it to get warm. School sucked. I was in a bad mood all day. My friends kept trying to cheer me up. I punched Marty for poking me. Then Speedy and Charlie decided to poke me too. Charlie eventually said something that made me smile, which I don't really remember what it was, but it made me laugh. They all left a message on my phone while I was sitting with them.
After school there was more working on the room and stuff. Eeeeeeeyup.

Do the moonwalk!

I think I'm getting stuck in a rut. Or something. I'm not entirely sure what rut means. But it seems like it works.
I just havent felt in the mood to do much of anything lately.
Why do people even care? I mean there are people who know nothing more about me than my first name and they say they care. Why would they? They don't know me. I don't understand.
I've been really clingy lately. I want to just hug people to no end. I had Charlie sit on my lap at lunch because I was cold. He started petting my hair and for some weird reason when i put my head on his shoulder I just wanted to kiss him. Hormones much? But it felt good to get attention again.
Rayne held my hand for the first time today. Kinda shocked me.
Bryan tried to cheer me up during second. He ditched because he wasn't ready for speech class. When he realized I was depressed he hugged me and for once I hugged him back.
Speedy held me for awhile, and even glomped me this morning after Marty and Allison had hugged me and moved out of the way.


Random: I learned how to moonwalk in Photography Class today.
Jesse and I made a bet. If I can get out of his full chokehold type move within 10 minutes then I get an orange Faygo. I can't cheat and kick him in the groin. He can have people tickle me. If my back starts hurting, all bets are off and I get the Faygo, but I can't fake it. Cassie and Dani ref. And we're going to try to get a video of it, or atleast pictures.

Forget anything emotional I whine about this week. I'm full of PMSy goodness.

Best. Paint job. EVER.

Anyways, yesterday Dad and I went to ACE to get some paint for my room. Jacqi, possibly Marty and I are going to splatter paint around my room as a paint job ^_^.

After we got the paint, Dad dropped me off at the mall to meet up with Bryan, Steven and Misa. I got there before them and looked around in Borders and HotTopic. On the way to the food court to meet them, there were these really slow people walking infront of me. As soon as I got past them, they sped up ahead of me and started walking slow again when they were infront of me.

I found Misa, Steven, and Bryan in EBgames, and they introduced me to the girls they were with. Tiffany and Lauren. We walked around, went to Jillians to play some ait hockey, and I totally owned Misa. And looked around for a silver chain for Bryan to give to his mom. After awhile we found another one of Steven's friends. And from the mall we went to Bryan's house to play his Wii. We had to take three seperate cars to get there though. Because I was the "one too many". Lauren, Tiffany, Misa and I rode with Steven. Bryan called one of his friends to pick him up. And Mirini (Steven's friend) drove himself. Mirini had to follow us though, because he had no idea how to get to Bryan's. When we got there, Bryan and his friend were already playing the Wii. We played Bowling, tennis, baseball, and when we got around to Boxing it was about time for me to go home. Went home. Boredom. Had an odd conversation over text last night with Bryan.

TODAY! I painted my new room. Jacqi came over, and we splatters the colors of the rainbow onto the walls. Literally.

Eeeeyup. We got the paint on our noses when Jacqi went to kiss me to try to get paint on my nose, I dodged and put paint on her nose. She put paint up my nose and onto my glasses.

Such fun.

I don't even know how to flirt!

So, I went to the mall last night. Cassie dropped me off around 7. Unfortunatly, Steven, Misa, and Bryan weren't going to be there till around 8 thirty ish. I found Lauren in Hottopic and she offered to hang out with me while I waited for my friends. When she introduced me, Grant suddenly realized that "HEY! We went to school together in elementary school!" And asked if I remembered him. And I did, and he remembered the feildtrip with my mom. We walked around for awhile, found other people. Lost some people. Everyone decided to pick on Lauren and I tried helping her out. They kept putting all this stuff in her hair, it was mean. When we were in the food court she got mad and ran off. Everyone kinda followed and I just stayed. In about ten minutes Bryan, Misa, and Steven came around the corner and found me. We walked to RadioShack to buy Misa a phone charger. I helped pay for it since they seemed to be a bit low on cash. Bryan kept thinking I was depressed because I wasn't talking much, but I had gotten used to being quiet and ignored with the hour or so I spent with Lauren and her group of friends. We walked around for awhile doing some of Steven's christmas shopping, and eventualy ended up at Jillians. Where we played some games and I called Cassie to come pick me up. They waited outside with me for alittle bit then left, Cassie came about 5 minutes after they left.
Cassie and I went to her house for Scotty's birthday party. When we walked through the doors Cassie shouted "The minor is here!" and JenJen yelled from downstairs "Angie-boo!" JenJen and I played MarioKart64 while Dani and Cassie made dinner. Jen and Scott came over, a little later Erin and Kelsey came over. We all ate and played video games. Watched some TV and around midnight or so, Jesse came over. Put Cassie in a headlock. Put Jen in a headlock. Challenged me to 3 fights. None of them were taken out except for standing and getting ready to fight. We got distracted easily though. The entire time Jesse was there Cassie was trying to get me and him alone together. She succeeded and Jesse and I went downstairs to play pool. We both really sucked and cheated a lot but it was fun. Cassie came down after awhile and played with Jesse's DS, Kelsey came down and talked with us until he boyfriend came. Dani, Jen and Scott went into Dani's room. Jesse and I decided to play AirHockey. Which we both sucked at. Jesse threatened to put me in a headlock, and after circling around the table for awhile I fell to the floor and curled into a ball. Great defence isn't it? Well it actually worked. They felt sorry for me and left me alone. Jen and Scott played and I sat on the floor and texted Bryan. Jesse wanted to know what I was writing and tried stealing my phone. Jesse played DS. Kelsey's boyfriend got there and Kelsey and him went into "Jesse's room" Which is just the boiler room. Eventually Jesse left with Jen and Scott, Kelsey and her boyfriend left then and Cassie went to bed. Dani and I stayed up talking and I slept in her room. In the morning Cassie said I was flirting with Jesse. I don't even know how to flirt. How the hell do you flirt when you don't even know how to? Dani said people say she flirts like a guy. How the hell do guys flirt?

Oh damn. Let's make that illegal for girls to like me too.

So it turns out I shouldn't have been so paranoid about Bryan, although I still think he likes me.
Allison: She asked me out today. Honestly I didn't really see it coming until she started setting up for it. When lunch ended, I gave Marty, Misa, and Allison hugs and started walking towards photography. Allison wanted to walk with me. She tried holding my hand, which for any one else might have been a tip off right? Wrong, I hold hands with most of my friends. The day before we decided that I own Allison's boobs. And inturn I own all of Allison. So here's how it goes. She tries holding my hand, and I had to move Marty's sharpie to my other hand so she could. We started walking alittle and she kisses the back of my hand. Still, not all that odd consitering how most of my friends are. "So... I was thinking Angie, since you own my boobs. And basically me... Oh man this is making me nervous." This is when I figured out what she was trying to ask. She started again. "Since you own me... I was wondering if you'd like to own me... as a girlfriend too." I tried to let her down gently. Asked her if she knew the reason on why I broke up with Speedy. She said no and I explained that I just wasn't ready for a relationship. But if I had been, I would have most likely said yes. She did only break up with her boyfriend last week though. When she realized she loved Erik and not him. Pretty flattered though that she even asked me.
Speedy: We're still kinda close. We don't really talk anymore, but we still say Hey in the halls and hug eachother. But Marty tells me that Kara and him aren't dating. But Speedy has been asking her and been trying to kiss her. Turns out she has a boyfriend in Washington. Not sure how reliable this is, but it's something. Plus, it makes a lot of sense on why Kara was stressed out the other day and why Speedy has been so anxious to see Kara in the morning. All I can say is atleast he's moved on. And I'm perfectly fine as long as he's fine.
Bryan: I was expecting him out of anyone to ask me out first. I actually had a dream about him, Kara, Marty, and Rayne. I made out with all of them in my dream. It was really weird. Kara was a good kisser in my dream though. The rest I don't really remember all too well. I texted Bryan in the morning telling him of said dream. He said he had a dream that he and I were dating. And I killed him. Which made me laugh. When I told my dad about it, he looked at me and said that he didn't doubt it. I might see Misa, Steven, Bryan and some of Steven's friends at the mall tonight. If I'm not at Scotty's birthday party. I'll try to work out both. Nothing too special happened with Bryan and me today though. Maybe he won't ever ask me out ^_^
Doctors: I went to the doctors today half way through 2nd period. We drove up to Golden for this... Spine center thing. One of the people there was a frequent sub in the History hall and such. But I can't figure out his name. It wasn't Mr. Barker, or Mr. Owens.. It was some other guy... It's bugging me that I don't remember. Anyways. The doctor looked at my x-rays and we came to the conclusion that I'm going to be doing some physical therpy. For some odd months, and if my back doesn't get better then we'll do some more tests. That's all they told me though.
Andrew: So wait. Is it national ask Angie out day? It's weird enough to be asked out once, but twice? I'm still skeptical if he was kidding or not. He does have a girlfriend after all. I used to have a crush on him. I gave up on him asking me out a long time ago though. Kinda confusing. What would be even more confusing would be if Bryan would ask me out too.
Jesse: He thinks I'm hot. Oh dang. If he's at Scotty's birthday party then that's going to be alittle awkward.
Danny: He says he loves me. How long has he known me? A couple months? People are weird.

Now what the hell is up with all of this? When did I go from That-Girl-Angie to Fucking-Amazing-Angie? Or even Girlfriend-Material-Angie? My gosh. I don't get this at all.

It should be illegal

For any guy to like me as more than a friend.
The chance of Bryan having a crush on me increases with every moment I spend with him.
So I went to school today. I was sick yesterday. Bryan ditched his second to hang out with me. Ariel, Kelsey, David, and Johnny (some new kid from AZ) ditched too. The two hours before school started that I was at school, I went to Safeway with Sasha. Which was pretty cool since I haven't seen her much since she started going out with Laura. Somehow I ended up getting depressed, and walked most of the way back to school in silence, then sat in the corner alone. People came over. Speedy spotted me first. Bryan, Ariel, Allison, and Kelsey came later, amung some others. Bryan sat next to me and tried to cheer me up. But it was odd. He's look me straight in the eye with this confused face like he was trying to read my problems through my eyes. It was hard to look at him straight back in the eyes. After a couple seconds, I'd look down at the floor, or at someone else. He kept asking me what was wrong, and I'd ask him the same question without answering his. I refused to tell him until he told me why he always says his life sucks. I started changing things, and saying stuff like, "Why do you even care?" "Why do you want to know". His reply? "Because I do care." I told him that he lied. He kinda seemed hurt by that comment. But he's not sure if he believes that I care about him. Eventually he broke down and told me why his life sucks. He leaned in and spoke quietly like he didn't want others to hear. "I'm hollow." But see this is confusing. Because he's told me before that he doesn't like emotion, and he gets rid of it because he perfers numbness over pain. But he complains about being hollow. I don't get it. I told him he didn't have to be hollow. When I told him the only problems I really had were worrying about my friends and their problems. But seriously, that's most of my stress, I don't cause much drama if any. Later in second period he was like dead. Kelsey kissed him and he didn't move. Kelsey and I drew on his stomach and all he did was lay on the ground and stare at the ceiling. I moved his limbs and proped him up so he was sitting, but still he didn't move. He didn't resist. He was just limp. He stared right through me. I tried asking him what was wrong. I just tried talking to him. He didn't say much. After a bit, he said he was counting marks on the ceiling. So I layed him back down carefully and sat next to him. I still tried to talk to him, and he did crack a few smiles, but they seemed forced. He did get up sometime. I don't really remember when though.
Lunch, I walked around with Marty. Then we went back to a new corner. In the English/ACE hall. "AIDs" was in the cubby, so Misa and Bryan didn't want to go in. We settled under a Bagels poster. Bryan decided it should be the single's corner too since none of us had significant others. Except Misa. So it was the Bagel single's and Misa corner. Bryan sat there petting my hair while I layed down sharing Misa's backpack with Marty as a pillow. When Bryan left to cheer up Kelsey, Misa decided it should be the couple's corner. But Marty and I were without lovers. So Misa said "You and Marty are together now" I started laughing and said Hai to Marty. When Bryan came back he was kinda quiet. I stopped using Misa's backpack as a pillow because it hurt my neck. Misa poked me, then Bryan did. And my spasms and random noises cheered him up a little I guess, because he started talking again. We all planned to meet at DQ when we found out Marty didn't live too far from any of us.
Later in photography, I checked my phone for texts and found he had sent me one during second. "Lets go for a walk" Why didn't he just straight out say it? When I asked him that all he said was: "Because I'm complicated" . Wait, what? What does being complicated have anything to do with that?
After school I met Misa, Bryan, Steven, and Marty at DQ. (Which is going to be a DQ/Orange Julius soon) I walked Ducky there, and we hung out for awhile. Then we drove me home to drop off Ducky and we all went to Bryan's to play his Wii. Now, honestly, I didn't think it was going to be all that good. But man was I proved wrong. It was fun as hell. Especially when Marty got excited for doing well at bowling, jumped, and hit his head on a ceiling fan. Later he hit his head on Bryan's couch. We concluded that Bryan's house hates Marty. When Steven eventually had to take Marty and I home, we all had this odd hug war. Misa hugged me and Marty really fast. Then hugged me and Marty at the same time. Decided we needed to do a group hug. Apparently, Bryan and Steven are a bit homophobic and didn't want to hug other guys. Bryan seemed to only want to hug me, or Misa, seperately from Marty. We finally dragged him into the circle, and Steven too. There was a lot of squeezing, and with being one of the shortest, my neck was one of the things squeezed. Then we let go, Bryan hugged me seperately and we left. And that was the end of the hug war.
I went home, and later that night I got more texts from Bryan. He asked why humans, especially girls are so confusing. How do you answer something like that?
I don't know what to think anymore. I wonder why Bryan wanted to go on that walk...

What? Nooooooooo...

News:
I stayed home sick today, not really feeling well still. But I'm going to school tomorrow.
My friend Danny is okay. And I almost cried I was so happy.
I think Bryan has a crush on me.
-He's actings all weird.
-He says he's looking forward to seeing me
-I asked him if there was anything I could do to cheer him up, and he said maybe. When I asked him what he was thinking he said he'd tell me tomorrow when he saw me.

Ahhhhh hell.

I feel kinda bad for not feeling so bad.

If that makes any sense. So one of my good friends, Danny, may or may not have a concussion. Yesterday he hit his head really had and didn't want to go to the doctors to get it checked out. Later, one of his friends gave him such a boost of confidence by giving him the fear of dying in his sleep because of his recent head injury. I ended up staying up most of the night with him. Mostly because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep, and because he needed comforting. Around... 2ish I think, my eyes started to burn. I couldn't focus on anything, and eventually I had to leave him. I cried a lot last night just worrying about him. He said that he took some asprin, forgetting that it messes with him because of his heart disease. I'm scared. I couldn't sleep at all last night, but laid in this daze, some very cold daze. In the morning I was so cold my teeth were chattering, my stomach felt like it was eatting itself or something. Needless to say I just didn't feel well. I went to school anyways. I however, did not eat breakfast. I did not eat dinner last night. I did not eat lunch today or yesterday. I neglected to take my pill last night and this morning. I got to school, and tried to cover up that I was obviously not okay. I almost started crying even before first period started. Bryan (turns out I was spelling his name wrong.) had been texting me while i was going through all this worrying and was trying to help. He even gave me a hug. Which still shocks me. I had no idea how to react and just kinda stood there as he hugged me. Then Kelsey about tackled him for a hug because she's upset that Matt now acts as if she's invisible. The bell rang and I dashed off without anyone noticing. I found Jacqi and Caitlin on the way to first period and I hugged them tight. In first period, I ended up crying while we watched a movie about cells. I was surprized beyond reason that I was as awake as I was consitering the amount of food and sleep I was going off of. Second period went over so much more nicely. Kelsey and Ariel ditched and sat with me. Charlie ended up ditching too, and sat with us too. They all made me laugh and got my mind off of things. I stole Charlie's necklace, which I still have. Nothing special about Third period. Fourth period I laid on Misa, and Leah laid on me and we watched a movie. Fifth nothing special happened. Lunch, Jacqi took me off to another Cubby to talk. She may move to Kentucky. I vented, She vented. She told me about her dream. Marty came and summoned us to the other Cubby. I met Johnny. I think that's his name anyways. He's a new kid from AZ. When the bell rang, everyone still left in the Cubby hugged me except Johnny. And people fought over who was going to hug me next. That made me feel really good. Honestly, no sarcasm there. Or there. Sixth, nothing special happened, or in seventh. TAU.

TAU gets it's own paragraph break. We played a game. We split up and went into different rooms, and each group got their own culture rules. My group had these rules:
'Hello' was replaced with 'Tomato'
'Goodbye' was replaced with 'Olive'
We didn't wear shoes.
We were very affectionate and needed to pet other people. So we were constantly being pet, or had someone playing with our hair.
A wink was one of the greatest complaiments ever.
Nodding was the equivilant of flipping someone off.
We had to say 'The end' at the end of whatever we said. (Ex: Tomato, how are you my Sasha-girl? The end.)
We also had to refer to people as if we owned them. Putting 'my' infront of their name, like the above example.
That was the ways of our culture, and I liked it. I love when people play with my hair. When Laurel and Caitlin played with my hair I kept leaning into their hand like cats do.
After getting used to the ways of our culture, we would switch one or two people with the other room and the ones that left had to react with their culture and whoever they sent over had to react to our culture.
Laurel was the first to go and so I went over to Charlie to pet him, and whenever my arm got tired I'd stop and he'd start petting me.
Eventually Charlie and I were chosen to go over to the other culture. The other culture was very anti social. They played with cards, and Charlie and I did our best to figure out what the hand guestures and such meant. This is what I observed and found out:
Looking anyone in the eye was taboo. So was talking, and smiling.
One stomp meant Hello.
Two stomps meant Goodbye.
How many times they hit themselves was the value of the card they wanted.
If you clapped your hands that meant you didn't have the card.
If you turned around it meant to start over.
If you jumped up and down it ment to start over too, I think.
And whenever someone disobeyed the rules you'd gasp and point at them and move away.
Also if you got four of the same number cards you could look people in the eyes and such.
I found out all except the jumping, turning, and the last one.
People liked the culture I was apart of better, because it was more welcoming. As soon as people came in we'd say Tomato and flock over to them to pet them. It was fun.
When it was all over, we all discussed it, and all through the discussion Charlie kept petting me ^_^ which I had no arguments against.

After TAU, I went over to Jacqis. Layn, Kenton, Becca, Josh, and Dylan were there.
Oh gosh. Ew. I just started coughing really hard and had to run to the bathroom to throw up. Ick. I think I'm getting sick. Mom and I just decided to take me off Naproxen. Erg. I don't feel good. I doubt I'll finish this later, but this is enough.

Self esteem boost?

So the other day one of Cassie and Dani's friends came over to help Cassie move her stuff. His name was Jesse. Well. He happens to be a Juggalo too, and I whooped at him. He's pretty funny and stuff. Well he asked Cassie how old I was. To see if I was legal. Turns out he thought I was hot or something. Weird. Some guy that went to highschool with my sister consitered going out with me. Ironic thing is that Cassie and Dani had crushes on him.

Other stuff. So much drama lately.
Kelsey dumped Matt without even exceeding a week of a relationship. All because she has a crush on Drw. I can tell that's never going to work.
Speedy keeps trying.
Allison's depressed because she realized that she doesn't love her boyfriend. But instead she loves Erik. Who doesn't love Erik. He's just awsome. And he doesn't get mad at me for telling him to go to class, even when school's out.
Allison has to come to terms with her dark past and tell her parents.
Allison has lost her best friend.
Caitlin moved in with Jacqi because she could not see eye to eye with her parents. However, she seems happier than ever now.
I think Speedy's mad at me. He was next to me during lunch. Then randomly he kicked the lockers and scampered off.
Scott is still ticking me off.
Sasha is going out with Laura. I don't like it. And I'm irrationally mad at her. Sadly, it shows and she keeps asking what's wrong. Even Leah and James know that somethings wrong. No one knows though. Except everyone who reads my blog..
I miss Ellie, Jesus, Jared, Joe and Ben.
Becca's moving.
Bryan is feeling crappy, for some reason that he can't tell me.
Ariel crushed Bryan.
Chelsea wants to talk to Danny. Which will destroy his spirits once again. None of us will allow her to talk to him.
I'm worrying people like Lana. Jacqi. Caitlin.

Everything got to me. I ended up crying in the darkroom today.
The ups and downs of HighSchool.

I miss having a best friend.

I was looking through some pictures that I used to have on my old phone. You know, when I had a picture phone. A lot of them were when Chelsea and I were still best friends. Ever since she got a car she hasn't talked to me. Walkng around the block to see me just isn't as fun as it used to be, now that she can drive to other friends houses. Other friends who are regretibly more interesting than me apparently. I miss having one person to share everything with. I miss having someone to rush to when I had news. I miss having a best friend. I'm starting to think that's all I really wanted out of a relationship. A best friend.

Brian wants a hug? What has the world come to!?

First of all. I'm kinda ticked at Scott. Yes, Scott, that one really skinny kid who somehow absorbed into the group randomly in 8th grade. You know who I'm talking about right? Atleast Ellie knows. Anyways. He's in my biology class. First class of the day you know, not the best with me. Scott can be kind of annoying, yes. But tolerable. Well, we're doing microscope stuff. So were in groups and stuff. Ariel, Tyler, Scott and me. Tyler, being the nice guy he is, gets up to get us all cover sheets and slides. While hes collecting said things, Scott shakes up his soda. I called him mean. Later in the period, he starts unplugging my microscope, while I'm using it to make a drawing. Haha yea, funny maybe if I had been in a better mood. And maybe if his defence was that he needed something to do. Stab yourself in the fucking leg if you need something to do. Just leave me alone. I would have kicked him if Mr. Dewey wouldn't have been behind me. Later. He starts shooting water at Ariel and I with the droppers. He thinks he's being funny. But I wanted to make him bleed. I am definitly not a morning person, and with all my issues lately, it's not smart to act like Scott did.

Second. It'd be so much easier to convince Speedy that I'm not a good person, if I did more mean things. Sadly, I happen to not be a very aggressive person or anything. It's hard to convince someone they should look for someone better without depressing them. I've learned this twice now. And after awhile people get annoyed of my being pestimestic.

Third. I helped Cassie move some more stuff out of the house. If I haven't mentioned yet, Cassie's moving out. She got a house with Dani and Scotty. Anyways. Her sidewalk to her house is all icy and I was all afriad of falling. And it happens all the light stuff, is super fragile. Gee. Leave it to Angie to carry in the breakables. Luckily I didn't break anything. But I also didn't get a promised breakfast burrito out of the deal.

But I did go to the mall. I walked around for about a half hour before I sat down and played on my gameboy and waited for Misa, Steven and whoever else. Whoever else turned out to just be Brian. The kid I stole the soul from. And he keeps on calling me Soul Stealer. He wanted to make a better name when he found out that he and I have both had heart surgery. But the only thing he could come up with was Heartless Soul Stealer. But even he thought that sounded way too mean. Anyways. Steven and Misa clung to eachother in that way that couples often do, that makes them so cute you just want to shoot them. I expressed this feeling of wanting to shoot them, and Brian gave me a highfive. There was much hanging out. More laughing. Much video game playing. It was fun. We hung out in Target till about 9:10 where my mom called and told me to go by Jillians to be picked up. I begged Misa, Steven, and Brian to wait with me so I wouldn't be lonely. They did. When my mom came up, I got in the car. Over Misa's oozing over Ducky, I heard Brian say something like, "Well fine, don't give me a hug." This is confusing. Mostly because Brian doesn't like hugs. He doesn't like clinging. And he bribed me with Rolos to NOT hug him. So I don't know. He's hugged me once. It was kinda odd.

Last. I had a freaky dream last night, which is exactly what makes me not want to sleep now. I haven't had nightmares for years, up until last night. It was weird. Cassie and Chelsea got to be best friends, and they both wanted to kill me. So they hired Speedy to take care of the job. I was running trying to find a place to hide. I found some shack. Locked the doors. And died of starvation. They never found me to kill me.